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How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
Hi everybody, I'm not looking for help but jut venting... I could have died long ago if it wasn't due to the fact that I don't have any money to get N. Being alive is just so hard to handle... Oneself hast to keep some balance constantly because if not the pain and despair is too hard too handle, trying to avoid the inmense weight of knowing nothing matters because at the end (when I get some money) I'll die.... The only way to keep myself going is through fake hopes and illusions, the days I can lie to myself can take care of myself too, but that doesn't usually happen.

I used to get angry because the world has been always pretty unfair to me (for saying it in a soft way), I don't even get angry now. I find everything is non sense, the human being is miserable to me and nobody is gonna change my mind. The world is a place with fountains of limitless pleasure, happiness, love and amazing things! But history shows that humans have been ruining everything across the time... They have transformed the most precious and valuable things into the worst. Religions and capitalism have destroyed people and nature...

I wish there was a way, that I had amazing people arround to support me, that everything could change... But no matter how hard I try always end up fucked up and people instead to help me are pushing me down. I'm 27 years old and never been really happy. Since I was a child everything has been bullshit. I jus wanna leave as soon as possible...


xxx

David
 
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BlankUser

Mage
Apr 24, 2021
501
I feel you so much. There are so many truths in this post. I feel like humans are indeed the cancer of this Earth.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
What you say about fake hopes and illusions is quite interesting because I can really relate.

For instance, I have this hope that if I save lots of money, I might be able to make one of my dreams come true: visit Japan.

However, in spite of trying to live, I could ctb anytime soon so, what the hell?

Anyway, that's helping me somehow so I'll just keep on dreaming and if I decide to kill myself, well, all that money will be for my dad.

Hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs,

Matt
 
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How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
I feel you so much. There are so many truths in this post. I feel like humans are indeed the cancer of this Ear

What you say about fake hopes and illusions is quite interesting because I can really relate.

For instance, I have this hope that if I save lots of money, I might be able to make one of my dreams come true: visit Japan.

However, in spite of trying to live, I could ctb anytime soon so, what the hell?

Anyway, that's helping me somehow so I'll just keep on dreaming and if I decide to kill myself, well, all that money will be for my dad.

Hope you can feel better soon.

Hugs,

Matt
I don't know why but I feel everythings is gonna be ok for you. Hope you can finally go to Japan :)
I feel you so much. There are so many truths in this post. I feel like humans are indeed the cancer of this Earth.
There are so many facts to prove this theory... Not only the cancer of this planet but their own cancer as well... You just have to take a look to religions... They've been snorting and destroying the true nature of humans not only the Earth.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
Who knows what the future holds for you? Maybe you still can meet supportive and loving people. Here you can meet new friends!!! But life indeed sucks and this world can a shitty, shitty place…. But we're here for you!! :hug: :hug: :heart: :heart:
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,292
I get what you mean, I think life is the most pointless thing ever. We spend most of our lives suffering just for the sake of it as death makes all of life meaningless. I see so much wrong with this world and it makes me want to leave it even more. I see death as comforting, its our one true escape from a life we never asked for.
 
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PressEnterToExit

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Oct 19, 2020
234
Who knows what the future holds for you? Maybe you still can meet supportive and loving people. Here you can meet new friends!!! But life indeed sucks and this world can a shitty, shitty place…. But we're here for you!! :hug: :hug: :heart: :heart:
I've always dreamt to be surrounded of nice and real people. I guess that this will be the nearest I get to that! Thanks for your comment. :happy:
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
I've always dreamt to be surrounded of nice and real people. I guess that this will be the nearest I get to that! Thanks for your comment. :happy:
Not necessarily!! It's still possible!! Things can change. Maybe they won't… but they can!!!
 
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PressEnterToExit

PressEnterToExit

How soon is now?
Oct 19, 2020
234
I get what you mean, I think life is the most pointless thing ever. We spend most of our lives suffering just for the sake of it as death makes all of life meaningless. I see so much wrong with this world and it makes me want to leave it even more. I see death as comforting, its our one true escape from a life we never asked for.
I used to see death as something dark, but I see it now like something good. I like to think in reencarnation haha
 

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