Venting Depression

[muretax]

I've been really depressed the past couple of days. I have no energy or the interest to do anything and I've been trying my hardest to hide my emotions from my loved ones so they don't start questioning if I'm safe to be alone or not. My family is the type to throw my in a psych ward at any hint I'm mentally unstable – it sure as hell keeps me on my toes but it really sucks because I find myself wanting to talk about the depression because I just feel so heavy but I'm worried about ending up in the hospital or having them attached to my hip. I just want to be able to open up without fear of being hospitalized. Is that too much to ask for?

On the other hand, it's really aggravating me that there isn't a guaranteed ctb method that would end it all in a matter of minutes. I'm really impatient and I have a lot of pain and agony just harvesting itself inside of me and I'm done trying to get my voice heard or to have someone take me seriously for once. I'm done being judged by people who won't ever talk to me first, I'm done being bullied because quiet girls are great scapegoats, I'm done being walked all over because how dare I stand up for myself and demand respect from someone. I'm done.

I hate feeling this heavy but it's becoming a new normal for me. I'm just a nobody and will always will be.

 

[Miss clefable]

Hugs i can relate

 

[chemicalctb]

I've been really depressed the past couple of days. I have no energy or the interest to do anything and I've been trying my hardest to hide my emotions from my loved ones so they don't start questioning if I'm safe to be alone or not. My family is the type to throw my in a psych ward at any hint I'm mentally unstable – it sure as hell keeps me on my toes but it really sucks because I find myself wanting to talk about the depression because I just feel so heavy but I'm worried about ending up in the hospital or having them attached to my hip. I just want to be able to open up without fear of being hospitalized. Is that too much to ask for?

On the other hand, it's really aggravating me that there isn't a guaranteed ctb method that would end it all in a matter of minutes. I'm really impatient and I have a lot of pain and agony just harvesting itself inside of me and I'm done trying to get my voice heard or to have someone take me seriously for once. I'm done being judged by people who won't ever talk to me first, I'm done being bullied because quiet girls are great scapegoats, I'm done being walked all over because how dare I stand up for myself and demand respect from someone. I'm done.

I hate feeling this heavy but it's becoming a new normal for me. I'm just a nobody and will always will be.

your family seems toxic, i wish i could give you a big large hug and make everything better, i know how you feel, my mother mocks me when im depressed saying so are you gonna commit suicide? jokingly. you're really beautiful and quiet girls have are the best on the inside and your bullies are irrelevant, since they need to mock someone else to feel relevant, this makes them inherently irrelevant, another large hug

 

[Ben]

I'm sorry you don't have a good support system in your life. It's like you're stuck on a deserted island while all these planes pass by overhead. You'd write "S.O.S" in sticks on the beach, but they would just drop bombs instead of land and help you.

Your voice can be heard, you just need to find the right set of ears. We can't take away your pain. We can't right all the wrongs in your life...But what we absolutely can do, is listen and take you seriously. We are all outcasts in our own way. You may not be able to reach out and touch us, but we are here for you.

 

[muretax]

your family seems toxic, i wish i could give you a big large hug and make everything better, i know how you feel, my mother mocks me when im depressed saying so are you gonna commit suicide? jokingly. you're really beautiful and quiet girls have are the best on the inside and your bullies are irrelevant, since they need to mock someone else to feel relevant, this makes them inherently irrelevant, another large hug

I'm sorry you don't have a good support system in your life. It's like you're stuck on a deserted island while all these planes pass by overhead. You'd write "S.O.S" in sticks on the beach, but they would just drop bombs instead of land and help you.

Your voice can be heard, you just need to find the right set of ears. We can't take away your pain. We can't right all the wrongs in your life...But what we absolutely can do, is listen and take you seriously. We are all outcasts in our own way. You may not be able to reach out and touch us, but we are here for you.

This has honestly made me feel better. It absolutely sucks feeling like you can't go anywhere for help but it's comforting knowing I have this community. I love the analogy of being stuck on a deserted island, that's exactly how it feels like. More often than not, I'm my own support system but thanks for making me feel not so alone.

 

[Xerxes]

We're here for you if you need to vent or talk about your feelings without being thrown in the ward. I'm in the same boat as well, I can't talk much about my mental problems, otherwise I get screamed and judged and possibly get sent back to the hospital.

 

[Fucking loving it]

Yeah. I feel this. I'm in one of my worst depressions. Despair. Anguish. Death.

 

[52shriek]

I hear you all. I'm on the same boat. Worst episode I've experienced so far.

 

[[NoName]]

I've been really depressed the past couple of days. I have no energy or the interest to do anything and I've been trying my hardest to hide my emotions from my loved ones so they don't start questioning if I'm safe to be alone or not. My family is the type to throw my in a psych ward at any hint I'm mentally unstable – it sure as hell keeps me on my toes but it really sucks because I find myself wanting to talk about the depression because I just feel so heavy but I'm worried about ending up in the hospital or having them attached to my hip. I just want to be able to open up without fear of being hospitalized. Is that too much to ask for?

On the other hand, it's really aggravating me that there isn't a guaranteed ctb method that would end it all in a matter of minutes. I'm really impatient and I have a lot of pain and agony just harvesting itself inside of me and I'm done trying to get my voice heard or to have someone take me seriously for once. I'm done being judged by people who won't ever talk to me first, I'm done being bullied because quiet girls are great scapegoats, I'm done being walked all over because how dare I stand up for myself and demand respect from someone. I'm done.

I hate feeling this heavy but it's becoming a new normal for me. I'm just a nobody and will always will be.

This sucks man

Lost my job awhile go because I bounced between not caring enough and being suicidal. I couldn't talk to my boyfriend about stuff because it was too morbid for him (he's a lot better at it now) so I had no one to talk to. I remember anxiously waiting until I could get on SS's discord.

I don't feel so bad now that I can talk to him about more stuff, but I know that feeling of needing to talk, not just type out, what I was thinking.

Hope you can get the support system you need.

 

[OkTotti]

*hugs*.... thanks for sharing your story, i feel your pain. I'm depressed too. If only there was a button we can push to end it all. I'm having trouble doing anything lately, even leaving my apartment to go to the grocery store, I just want to stare at my laptop and tv all day and despair in my misery wondering when this is going to end... i can't live like this much more, this is no life... no close friends, no significant other...sigh....

 

[Weeping Garbage Can]

This must be really exhausting. I also hide any negative feelings and it sure is like an extra weight.... I truly hope you're able to find support here <3

 

[Louise]

I've been cycling between mild, moderate and severe depression all year. It's by far the worst and longest episode I've ever had. Depression is the pits...

There's nothing I want to do except browse SS, talk to my online bf, lie on the sofa, drink tea or coffee and listen to documentaries, the darker the better. Having to do more than this fills me with dread.