Depression never goes away

[CatLove56]

Just about to go to bed wondering how people can live to be old. I'm only 22 and I've realized society isn't for me. I try and try but it's unreasonably hard.

Maybe I should start a family like everyone else and bring people into this selfish world just for my motivation.

Having no real drive, trying to get a decent job that doesn't make me suicidal, and no friends as well being "boring" all these worries just makes me feel like I'm going to explode.

I've stuck around because the normies said it gets better. Right.
Probably going to lose the job I have now because of an asshole boss and god forbid I stand up for myself. Fuck all logic

 

[WayOut]

Depression is no different to someone who has any chronic illness, physical or mental. It may not go away, but you can get better at managing it. It sucks, sure, but it is what it is.

 

[21Neberg]

This worries me so much. We can feel better for a moment, for a day, hell maybe even a week!
But it never goes away, and we all know that the days of preparing a suicide method and self harm are always coming. You don't know when though, but depression never goes.

 

[throwaway777]

im the same .. 21 yo and depression nd anxiety since i was a child .. i cant live like other people pretending i dont see how messed up the world is ... cant live throught distractions .. cant forget anything

 

[Anima]

Just about to go to bed wondering how people can live to be old. I'm only 22 and I've realized society isn't for me. I try and try but it's unreasonably hard.

Maybe I should start a family like everyone else and bring people into this selfish world just for my motivation.

Having no real drive, trying to get a decent job that doesn't make me suicidal, and no friends as well being "boring" all these worries just makes me feel like I'm going to explode.

I've stuck around because the normies said it gets better. Right.
Probably going to lose the job I have now because of an asshole boss and god forbid I stand up for myself. Fuck all logic

It's hard to live with it, I know. Depression seems to follow you like a shadow, always lurking and trying to pull you down. I can't say that it gets better, but I do know a few people who managed to somehow live a good life.

What makes you think that you are boring?

 

[I am ___________]

I'm 20 and I have come to the same conclusion. Why should I wait for something that will never come, have had depression since I was 6 years old. It does not get better, it get's worse. What we call "normal" people are the ones who continue to lie to themselves about the state of the world and their own lives. They hide from the ugliness with all their might, you know what they say "Ignorance is bliss". The only type of people who would be happy in this world, living this life are the ones who are truly insane, and wicked. Depression is not a disease, it is a emotion and state of being, you cannot cure it with magical pills and some motivational speeches. The only person who can cure it is the person who suffers from it.

 

[sólstafir]

This worries me so much. We can feel better for a moment, for a day, hell maybe even a week!
But it never goes away, and we all know that the days of preparing a suicide method and self harm are always coming. You don't know when though, but depression never goes.

Exactly!
I can have good hopeful five minutes, but those moments always end with some suicidal thought, sudden hopelessness, because I never know my mind, it's as if it's not worth it to even think of the solutions anymore, at least I save myself from having to experince falling from hope to despair. My mind works in circles like that and it's been like this for 8 years. And if I start thinking 'maybe it's time to stop this circle, it's ridiculous, you see it's going nowhere', it's the same as I would say to myself "Stop being unstable, be positive, trust yourself, and TRY" and that doesn't work. I don't know why humans are build up like that, that they can actually be torturers of themselves, why I can't just live at least 6 months without suicidal thoughts, just forget it or something, but no. Always have to be the worst enemy of myself.

 

[21Neberg]

Exactly!
I can have good hopeful five minutes, but those moments always end with some suicidal thought, sudden hopelessness, because I never know my mind, it's as if it's not worth it to even think of the solutions anymore, at least I save myself from having to experince falling from hope to despair. My mind works in circles like that and it's been like this for 8 years. And if I start thinking 'maybe it's time to stop this circle, it's ridiculous, you see it's going nowhere', it's the same as I would say to myself "Stop being unstable, be positive, trust yourself, and TRY" and that doesn't work. I don't know why humans are build up like that, that they can actually be torturers of themselves, why I can't just live at least 6 months without suicidal thoughts, just forget it or something, but no. Always have to be the worst enemy of myself.

You're speaking the truth brother. It's this circle of happiness and sadness that has driven me to my decision to start preparing my end

 

[TheCrow]

And if I start thinking 'maybe it's time to stop this circle, it's ridiculous, you see it's going nowhere', it's the same as I would say to myself "Stop being unstable, be positive, trust yourself, and TRY" and that doesn't work.

Same.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

"It doesn't get better"

"Life gets better" on again off again if we all just die in peace but that won't happen I must be nice for those who actual have a suicidal partner and they both CTB me here I am thinking about death despite the fact I shouldn't the only thing I want is peace in life or peace in death in suicide but for some unknown reason I do that on my own I tried once but I don't think that'll happen again I wonder if I am just wasting everyone else's time here or outside of this not attention seeking as the old chiche goes but what do you folks do other than check this site like I do to vent or read or post?

 

[Anima]

"Life gets better" on again off again if we all just die in peace but that won't happen I must be nice for those who actual have a suicidal partner and they both CTB me here I am thinking about death despite the fact I shouldn't the only thing I want is peace in life or peace in death in suicide but for some unknown reason I do that on my own I tried once but I don't think that'll happen again I wonder if I am just wasting everyone else's time here or outside of this not attention seeking as the old chiche goes but what do you folks do other than check this site like I do to vent or read or post?

Don't feel bad, it's perfectly fine to vent, read and post. Take your time, talk to others and sort things out for yourself. Whatever you decide on is fine. What matters is you and how it makes you feel. Sites like this are so rare and it's a great way to gather information, talk to people experiencing similar things and maybe find sone sense of calmness and peace of mind. Please don't beat yourself up. Hugs

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Don't feel bad, it's perfectly fine to vent, read and post. Take your time, talk to others and sort things out for yourself. Whatever you decide on is fine. What matters is you and how it makes you feel. Sites like this are so rare and it's a great way to gather information, talk to people experiencing similar things and maybe find sone sense of calmness and peace of mind. Please don't beat yourself up. Hugs

Oh I am an expert on beating myself up mentally but I appreciate it.

 

[Broken]

Just about to go to bed wondering how people can live to be old. I'm only 22 and I've realized society isn't for me. I try and try but it's unreasonably hard.

Maybe I should start a family like everyone else and bring people into this selfish world just for my motivation.

Having no real drive, trying to get a decent job that doesn't make me suicidal, and no friends as well being "boring" all these worries just makes me feel like I'm going to explode.

I've stuck around because the normies said it gets better. Right.
Probably going to lose the job I have now because of an asshole boss and god forbid I stand up for myself. Fuck all logic

I was mildly depressed for years and didn't really realise. I'd always moan that life wasn't fair and everyone else had all the things in life that I wanted and when was it going to be my turn. I always wanted to have a life and friends and love and I got it all. I didn't even have to put in that much hard work to get it all. I moaned for long enough and everything just fell into place. Or so I thought. One big event that I caused made my depression really bad. It's like I've opened Pandora's box and I can't go back and I've lost friends, thrown away love and at the moment the chance to live. I just exist at the mo and it's like living in a nightmare. I caused my own un-happiness. I new I was happy but I didn't appreciate it.

Ive learned that if I ever get out of this depression craziness and get an oppurtunity to live in stead of exist I'm never throwing it away again, EVER

 

[dysfunctional]

I was mildly depressed for years and didn't really realise. I'd always moan that life wasn't fair and everyone else had all the things in life that I wanted and when was it going to be my turn. I always wanted to have a life and friends and love and I got it all. I didn't even have to put in that much hard work to get it all. I moaned for long enough and everything just fell into place. Or so I thought. One big event that I caused made my depression really bad. It's like I've opened Pandora's box and I can't go back and I've lost friends, thrown away love and at the moment the chance to live. I just exist at the mo and it's like living in a nightmare. I caused my own un-happiness. I new I was happy but I didn't appreciate it.

Ive learned that if I ever get out of this depression craziness and get an oppurtunity to live in stead of exist I'm never throwing it away again, EVER

Wow, very similar situation here

 

[Redt2go]

I was mildly depressed for years and didn't really realise. I'd always moan that life wasn't fair and everyone else had all the things in life that I wanted and when was it going to be my turn. I always wanted to have a life and friends and love and I got it all. I didn't even have to put in that much hard work to get it all. I moaned for long enough and everything just fell into place. Or so I thought. One big event that I caused made my depression really bad. It's like I've opened Pandora's box and I can't go back and I've lost friends, thrown away love and at the moment the chance to live. I just exist at the mo and it's like living in a nightmare. I caused my own un-happiness. I new I was happy but I didn't appreciate it.

Ive learned that if I ever get out of this depression craziness and get an oppurtunity to live in stead of exist I'm never throwing it away again, EVER

Same but illI never get back what I lost

 

[Broken]

Same but illI never get back what I lost

What did you lose?

 

[Redt2go]

What did you lose?

My ex I know it doesn't seem like that much but with them I had a family, a family of friends, a best friend, lover, they even helped me in my career and definitely with my depression. I didn't realize how much they were doing for me. Now I'm kind of bankrupt in every aspect of living :/. To do it on my own I'll never achieve that level of living and happiness. At most I'll be barely surviving. Paycheck to paycheck just to come home to loneliness

 

[Broken]

I feel for you and see so many similarities. of course it means a lot. When you no you're at fault and lost a good person and it's not just the looking through rose tinted glasses it ain't easy to forget.

 

[RyanSuicide]

Depression is hell my friend

 

[Redt2go]

It's

Depression is hell my friend[/QUOTE
It's he'll but lately I miss it when I start to go numb and feel empty so I always try to bring it back.

 

[RyanSuicide]

It's

I have the same problem. Used to cut myself so I could feel something

 

[Ntothed]

No depression never goes away, but you as a person can work to overcome your deepest fears. No matter what you're facing there is an answer. Breakdown what is going on and really think about what you want in the life.

Do not jump to conclusions, your life if what you want to make it. Don't chance rash decisions with present situations. Really think about what you need and what Want and decide what actions need to be taken.

 

[RyanSuicide]

No depression never goes away, but you as a person can work to overcome your deepest fears. No matter what you're facing there is an answer. Breakdown what is going on and really think about what you want in the life.

Do not jump to conclusions, your life if what you want to make it. Don't chance rash decisions with present situations. Really think about what you need and what and then decide what actions need to be taken.

Many people on here are not as positive as you