starrvingstar
suicidal anorexic
- Apr 9, 2023
- 141
whenever i opened up about my stuggles to my boyfriend, he takes it very personally or uses it as some model to follow his life by.
he thinks because i am depressed it means that he is not good enough, he hates that he can't make me happy. but how do i explain to someone that they have nothing to do with the way i have felt for so many years?
when i tell him about the small destructive behaviour i struggle with, he thinks he should do the same. he once told me that he wants me to feel the same way that i make him feel when i'm struggling by following in my footsteps and that we should "suffer together". that makes me miserable.
i am at the point where i feel as though i can't open up to him without affecting him so deeply. ive talked to him about how it makes me feel when he says these things but he is so narrow-minded when it comes to the way he feels and won't change his mind. he is convinced its the right thing to do and i have even influenced some of his choices when it comes to drug consumption just because i smoke he is obsessed with the idea that he has no clue about.
i hate influencing someone this deeply, i am unstable and am in no place to be someone's blueprint. i don't want him to make his life miserable just to feel closer to me.
he thinks because i am depressed it means that he is not good enough, he hates that he can't make me happy. but how do i explain to someone that they have nothing to do with the way i have felt for so many years?
when i tell him about the small destructive behaviour i struggle with, he thinks he should do the same. he once told me that he wants me to feel the same way that i make him feel when i'm struggling by following in my footsteps and that we should "suffer together". that makes me miserable.
i am at the point where i feel as though i can't open up to him without affecting him so deeply. ive talked to him about how it makes me feel when he says these things but he is so narrow-minded when it comes to the way he feels and won't change his mind. he is convinced its the right thing to do and i have even influenced some of his choices when it comes to drug consumption just because i smoke he is obsessed with the idea that he has no clue about.
i hate influencing someone this deeply, i am unstable and am in no place to be someone's blueprint. i don't want him to make his life miserable just to feel closer to me.
