U

Userloser2

Member
Aug 27, 2019
27
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?
 
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New_dawn_fades

New_dawn_fades

Do you want to fight something? Fight Yourself.
Jul 16, 2019
14
I'm my case I've been in sertraline, velafaxine, fluoxetine and a bunch of more pills. The answer, is no, none helped. I'm pretty much like you most of the time but I also have manic episodes so I'm also taking lorazepam atm. I only can cope sleeping when I'm not working, I can't be bothered doing anything else and my interests have slowly been fading until the point I can't focus in anything or be consistent with anything I do :( But I do know some people that found antidepressants helpful. I'm going to leave my comment here to see more experiences on this even though I gave up long time ago on my depression.
 
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StillWaiting

StillWaiting

Need cats to comfort me
Jul 28, 2018
550
Was on antidepressants for a few months. Maybe my dosage wasn't enough to make me feel better but all the time I felt very tensed. Maybe worse than not taking but it made me feel less emotional
 
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J

Juicebox

Trying to Stay Alive
Jul 31, 2019
47
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?

Antidepressants make me feel like this, with the additional side effect of wanting to do nothing but stare at walls all day

But it's either that or constant despair and regret. Both options are shit
 
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U

Userloser2

Member
Aug 27, 2019
27
Thanks for responding. I have experienced mania once before. Or at least what I believe it to be. It was quite euphoric at times even though I was becoming erratic and more unstable. I would be ecstatic for like no reason.

Withdrawal from lorazepam sucks. Once I became manic/unstable I stopped taking my Rx benzo of 10 yrs. Boy did that take me on a trip to hell.

I'm kinda worried that it caused brain damage or killed all my serotonin and or dopamine.

Anyway I have a script for Wellbutrin. Debating trying it.
Was on antidepressants for a few months. Maybe my dosage wasn't enough to make me feel better but all the time I felt very tensed. Maybe worse than not taking but it made me feel less emotional
I already have no emotions. That sucks.
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I really understand the apathy part. I became much more motivated in life when I had gotten off of them but by then it was already too late for me. They also cloud your thinking and just suck the soul out of you.
 
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B

burnedCookie

Student
Aug 8, 2019
120
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?

I've felt like this my whole life. I've never really been interested by anything, I do things out of need but never out of passion.

ADs helped me a little since they release inhibitions (prozac) so it allowed me to have some good time once in a while or at least fake it without spending too much energy. I could work and do basic things but it never allowed me to have a "normal life"

After a few years it hardly works anymore, and I'm not even talking about the long-term side effects. I've been taking Fluoxetine for 20 years.
 
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ThriveOrDie

ThriveOrDie

We are already in hell
Jul 11, 2019
449
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?
This is how I felt on Prozac but I was taking it for reactive depression...depression caused by poor physical health. There are natural way to increase dopamine if you are worried about taking drugs.
 
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CFLoser

CFLoser

I fcking hate myself
Dec 5, 2018
611
I took and am now again taking Prozac.

I lucked out since it works for me, really well.

I think they are worth trying. Good luck
 
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Rachel74

Rachel74

Enlightened
Sep 7, 2019
1,716
Out of all the ones I have tried Venlafaxine was the best one for me. It kept me pretty stable for 10 years, sadly does not work anymore so got to try something else. Good luck x
 
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U

Userloser2

Member
Aug 27, 2019
27
This is how I felt on Prozac but I was taking it for reactive depression...depression caused by poor physical health. There are natural way to increase dopamine if you are worried about taking drugs.
What natural ways increase dopamine?
 
ThriveOrDie

ThriveOrDie

We are already in hell
Jul 11, 2019
449
What natural ways increase dopamine?
Velvet bean (aka dopa bean), fava beans, apples, watermelon, turmeric, sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, nuts, green leafy vegetables, chocolate, avocados, meat, fish, eggs, oats, probiotics (50% of dopamine is made in the gut by probiotics), l-theanine, exercise, meditation, listening to pleasant music, VitD, B vitamins, magnesium, iron, fish oil, circumin (turmeric extract)...
 
U

Userloser2

Member
Aug 27, 2019
27
Hmm I have no idea how people meditate. My thoughts flit around and I can't control it.

Could try some of these but I don't know if I have the will power to change my awful diet..
 
ThriveOrDie

ThriveOrDie

We are already in hell
Jul 11, 2019
449
Hmm I have no idea how people meditate. My thoughts flit around and I can't control it.

Could try some of these but I don't know if I have the will power to change my awful diet..
Baby steps. I can't do meditation either.
I would start with velvet bean, fava beans and probiotics.
 
Last edited:
Blackjack

Blackjack

I’ll be watching...
Aug 6, 2019
777
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?

I recently learned about Apathy & Anhedonia here. Didn't know Anhedonia was a thing but it sounds like exactly what you're describing. Do a quick search on Anhedonia & it'll pop up.
 
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Y

Yolonoodle

Bear
Sep 20, 2019
30
I've been on various antidepressants for at least a couple of years. Nothing has really worked for me but I do know they have worked for others
 
F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
SSRI's contain fluoride which is bad for you. Yes the same stuff in toothpaste they claim prevents tooth decay but doesn't. It's used to make the population have lowered IQ and more docile. I'm not sure if it's also in my thyroid medication but I think it is. If you can avoid it I would avoid all medications from the medical complex. I still sometimes use stimulant medication and that's bad too but it helps me tolerate the things I have to do to survive. I'm on a thyroid med I can't come off and even that contains fluoride. Flouride causes cancer, like over time it builds up in the body. I know right. I guess Europe stopped fluoridating their water but here in the US they still do even though all the evidence is out there that it's harmful.
 
Last edited:
Mort

Mort

No use to know one
Feb 15, 2019
622
I can't feel happiness. At all. At most, I feel briefly amused at times, which lasts seconds. And at times I feel something akin to relief. Also fleeting. Otherwise it's a blank. Empty. No motivation. Complete apathy. Have given up trying.It's pure misery. I can't even laugh.

I'm tired of the fake smiles and fake laughter when others laugh. It's painful.

I even try to mimic other people's facial expressions cause I don't have any feelings about what they are saying. How F****Ed is that?

I actually don't really want to die but I also can't see a future of any kind so I'm just hoping I fall asleep and never wake up.


Cause that is totally gonna work, right?

Anyway. This doesn't feel like just depression. There aren't ups and downs. Just one blank static mood. This hasn't changed in over a year.

My question is, has depression felt like this to anyone else? Did antidepressants help?
I know my self what it not to fell any thing my emotions was getting worse and worse one day it came to head and it was like a fuse going pop in my head and now dont fell any thing any more .
 
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Reactions: Userloser2
Letmego. Please

Letmego. Please

Wizard
Nov 18, 2018
619
SSRI's contain fluoride which is bad for you. Yes the same stuff in toothpaste they claim prevents tooth decay but doesn't. It's used to make the population have lowered IQ and more docile. I'm not sure if it's also in my thyroid medication but I think it is. If you can avoid it I would avoid all medications from the medical complex. I still sometimes use stimulant medication and that's bad too but it helps me tolerate the things I have to do to survive. I'm on a thyroid med I can't come off and even that contains fluoride. Flouride causes cancer, like over time it builds up in the body. I know right. I guess Europe stopped fluoridating their water but here in the US they still do even though all the evidence is out there that it's harmful.

They still stick fluoride in the water over here too, bloody nasty stuff.
 
U

Userloser2

Member
Aug 27, 2019
27
I know my self what it not to fell any thing my emotions was getting worse and worse one day it came to head and it was like a fuse going pop in my head and now dont fell any thing any more .
Thanks for sharing. Did meds contribute to your down fall or life circumstances? If you don't mind me asking.
If only there were something I could take that could make me feel happy again. EveN for just a few hours.
I recently learned about Apathy & Anhedonia here. Didn't know Anhedonia was a thing but it sounds like exactly what you're describing. Do a quick search on Anhedonia & it'll pop up.
Thanks. I looked up Anhedonia. Now I can at least use the correct term to describe how I feel (or don't feel) haha.

Unfortunately there's nothing to treat it it seems.
 
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