Depersonalization

[spinningship]

It's really frustrating to not be able to express myself at all. People ask me how I feel about something and I have to manually try and figure out what I feel because i'm so disconnected. I can barely speak at all apart from in short bursts i'm like trapped inside of myself. And it makes come across super self-centered and narcissistic which I suppose I am. I can't express how I feel about things properly and it comes out so blunt. It's like i'm trapped in a bubble interacting with the world through like multiple layers. I can't remember when life stopped feeling real but it was long enough ago I have no idea if i'll ever come out of it. I can't even come up with a coherent answer on important questions on like whether i'm going to go back to uni, which makes me sound really unenthusiastic about it when really i'm just completely unable to express because i'm so disconnected. I literally just listen to music 16 hours a day and daydream. Or watch netflix hardly registering the plot.

 

[vultureilse]

can relate. im so disconnected from myself and everything around me, my thoughts and opinions dont feel like they belong to me tho half of the time i dont even form opinions about things. its like im permanently zoned out, my mind is so foggy, it feels like im stuck in a neverending dream

sorry ur going through this

 

[Ultracheese]

May I ask if this is a recent experience or something you've always had? It sounds a little like alexithymia, which is a condition I have.

Alexithymia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Here's a Wiki article that's pretty concise. The main thing is being unable to identify your own emotions. I also experience depersonalization and derealization episodes too and can relate to the feeling of "zoning out" uncontrollably unable to get out of your own head. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.

 

[spinningship]

May I ask if this is a recent experience or something you've always had? It sounds a little like alexithymia, which is a condition I have.

Alexithymia - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Here's a Wiki article that's pretty concise. The main thing is being unable to identify your own emotions. I also experience depersonalization and derealization episodes too and can relate to the feeling of "zoning out" uncontrollably unable to get out of your own head. I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.

I'm autistic and alexithymia is pretty common so probably. I feel like it gets worse when I get in this disassociated state, when i'm not stressed at all and in a good frame of mind I can have a good day and be able to coherently talk about my thoughts but those are pretty rare.

It's funny that reminds me, towards the end of elementary school I used to get pulled out of lesson by a couple teachers every week and the first thing they'd do is ask me how I felt on that day. They had like a tree with a bunch of cartoon people on expressing different emotions and they wanted me to point to the one that represented me and I always used to just say I felt "normal". I had no idea what they wanted me to say, as far as I was concerned I felt the same pretty much all the time. How on earth none of that got communicated with my parents or they didn't get me assessed for ASD is beyond me. https://pin.it/1C3wsXX