Deep down, honestly ... do you really want to die? Or do you want things/life to change?

[Cockney_Rebel]

Replying to a thread on here, regarding SI, has got me thinking about this?

 

[life-eternal]

I really want to die. I don't want things to get better or be happy and lead a good life. My way of thinking is that life has been a cunt to me and being happy or living life is letting life win, which is unacceptable to me. I want to be in the arms of death as soon as I can.

 

[motel rooms]

I have to die because my health can only get worse

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Weird question, there are no likely outcomes in regards to any major life areas of mine that I am okay with.

 

[suicide4me]

A while ago, I would have maybe wanted things to try and change. But now I just want to die, there is no ability for me to make anything better and my depression has taken over too strong that ctb is my only way to peace

 

[life-eternal]

By saying life has been a cunt probably makes my life look worse than it is to a lot of people on this earth. I haven't suffered from sexual abuse (i think) or physical abuse, but I still deal with trauma and I don't want to get better. I have incurable depression and anxiety, so I want to exit. I am tired of trying to feel happy and do not want to try anymore since it is a lost battle. Because it is a lost battle, I fucking hate being alive and life in general. Being happy in life means I am giving up, kind of like Stockholm Syndrome where the victim eventually gives up trying to escape. Death is the only true escape from this hell.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

definitely want to die its way too late to fix anything and my body is starting to get as sick as my mind anyway

 

[Rolliewoo]

I want to live if I'm honest; I have so many reasons to live aswell and a good life..... But due to something that happened a very long time ago and the utter torture and pain it causes.....dying will be my only option.

 

[blue_muse]

Good question for a thread. Life is not about to change for me, nor can I expect it to because I'm not special, and to be open in the outside world about what's driven me to this point would border on manipulation and petulance. So, I rather leave people and life the way it wants to be but personally check out.

 

[StateOfMind]

I think no one in their right mind would want die prematurely.
People are forced into suicide because of shitty life circumstances.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I have to die because my health can only get worse

Do you have an incurable illness?

 

[tessa]

I am very ugly. When i was beautiful i don't want to die.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

I am very ugly. When i was beautiful i don't want to die.

Did something happen to change your appearance?

Sorry you feel this way.

 

[http-410]

I really don't want to "live" anymore.

I've been trying to change things for years and it's only gotten worse. I'm still trying to "survive" (which is actually only existing) until I'm able to die, but hope is long gone. I've reached a point where all I crave is dreamless sleep because that's the only way out of consciousness currently.

There are simply things I can't change. Even if circumstances were to improve: I've had enough. Death cannot be worse than this.

 

[yive]

i want to die, definitely. i want to be free from the endless needs of life. i want to be free from suffering.
if you don't have a disease, you don't need a cure. i do not want to fight/suffer/hold on to life/wait for something/etc.

i'm not interested in life anymore

 

[Vicepuma]

If it wasn't for mental and medical issues, I'd probably enjoy life and suicide wouldn't even be on my mind.

It's torture knowing you have a good life (good job, money, friends, things you like) but your mind and body are deteriorating to a point where it's getting really hard to enjoy things.

 

[WornOutLife]

If I had a stable mind and the answers I seek, I might be interested in living until I'm a sick old grey man.

 

[motel rooms]

Do you have an incurable illness?

Chronic pain syndrome/conversion disorder - basically, I'm in all sorts of physical pain, but the cause is emotional trauma/extreme stress/prolonged depression

 

[FuneralCry]

I dont think life was ever really meant for me. I just like the sound of eternal nothingness and freedom from mortality. The thought of the dying process itself fills me with dread, i just want to fade away.

 

[DarkWolf]

I want to die. I don't like it here. I just don't want to kill myself. I want to die in a car accident or heart attack or something similar.

 

[AmDead]

I feel society needs to change from the foundation, but if I had things my way, death would be considered normal, peaceful, and liberating. If more people realized life is pointless and suffocating for no reason, there'd be more of us who are free from the burden of life.

 

[lanax09]

to be perfectly honest, I don't really want to ctb, it's just unbearable how my entire life is me being mostly ignored at school, failing all my classes, not really having fun, then coming home just for my parents to scream at me every day of my life; I have passions and a couple close friends and I have fun in life when I'm let to be but life is so difficult that I just can't bear to stick around. The worst thing of all is that I'm old enough now that I should be leaving home in less than a year, but due to my parents not letting me get a job and me having a severe lack of motivation, I'm basically doomed to have no future.

 

[GreenTree]

I'd prefer to live. Live how I lived a few years ago. Thats not going to happen so I have too die somehow. Just find life so cruel. Only ever had good intentions and end up having to try and take my own life. Its not as easy as people think though. Many an obstacle. I think one day I'll day fuck it and try again. I just got a big fear of failing again.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I would like to have a good life, but life won't allow it. Life hates me. I was born to fail. Born to lose. Tired of it. Exhausted, really.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I don't want to die. But my mental health condition is getting worse and I have tried everything. I can't bear the idea of living much longer.

 

[nolongerhuman]

I want to die because I lost hope that things would change. My stupid volatile and uncontrollable emotions are getting in the way of the happy life I would rather be living. Suicide was never what I really wanted.

 

[charcoalcat]

I have loved life, tried my best to treasure it, understand it and make something out of it. But after a decade of constant disappointment and negative events shadowing me, I've come to realise it was a one-sided affair. There is only so much crap a person can take.

Life only shines upon some people, and I'm not one of them.

 

[Thiopentone31]

I would love to live, if only things were different. but I can't see them changing so death seems the only way to escape this suffering

 

[hfdepression30]

Deep down, yes. I want to die. However, sometimes life feels like a toxic relationship and no matter how much you want to let go and leave, it's just hard to take the plunge. I'm really giving up and on my last legs at this point.. maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow or Saturday. I really hope this is my last week and this will all be over, finally.

 

[BlakaFlacka]

I would say instinctively that I just want life to get better, that if my life and everything around it could do a complete 180, then maybe I'd want to keep living. But the truth is that life has been better, and things have been conplete opposite of what they were now, and I still wanted to end it back then, so I don't truly believe I'll ever reach a point that I've actually be satisfied with.