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d3ad

d3ad

Student
Mar 15, 2023
152
I have decided that I am just gonna go ahead and CTB. I will wait for everyone to go to sleep, at around 2 AM I will do it. I only have SN. I know it will cause me to vomit and stuff, and honestly I don't even care. I will drink enough to cause death. I do not have the patience to wait for weeks to get Meto and all that other stuff when I am in pain. I know that SN will cause me to die. I might experience a lot of pain and discomfort, but it does not matter. The short amount of discomfort and pain I will feel does not measure to the pain I have felt my whole life. I will update you guys before I drink it, and after I have drank it (if I will still be conscious). I am scared and nervous, but I know what is best for me and no amount of SI will convince me not to do this.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,026
I hope you find the freedom from suffering you search for, I wish you the best.
 
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,513
Every good wish to you, however things work out.
 
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moonflow3r

moonflow3r

Knocking on heaven’s door
Oct 6, 2023
179
safe travels 🕊️ please let us know how things go, I wish you peace
 
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qualityOV3Rquantity

qualityOV3Rquantity

Experienced
Jul 27, 2024
236
I'm so sorry life brought you to this point. Part of me hopes you will change your mind, but I also know it isn't my place to insist a stranger's life goes on when life must certainly be so painful for you. Either way, please remember there is no shame in changing your mind, and we will still be here for you if you stay. But if you do choose to go, I hope your transition out of this life is peaceful and with little pain.
 
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Reactions: d3ad and FallenAngel86
saynothing

saynothing

Member
Apr 23, 2025
6
I have decided that I am just gonna go ahead and CTB. I will wait for everyone to go to sleep, at around 2 AM I will do it. I only have SN. I know it will cause me to vomit and stuff, and honestly I don't even care. I will drink enough to cause death. I do not have the patience to wait for weeks to get Meto and all that other stuff when I am in pain. I know that SN will cause me to die. I might experience a lot of pain and discomfort, but it does not matter. The short amount of discomfort and pain I will feel does not measure to the pain I have felt my whole life. I will update you guys before I drink it, and after I have drank it (if I will still be conscious). I am scared and nervous, but I know what is best for me and no amount of SI will convince me not to do this.
I really hope you find peace and comfort. I'm sorry it's come to this. Love n light darling.
 
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Reactions: d3ad
d3ad

d3ad

Student
Mar 15, 2023
152
I'm so sorry life brought you to this point. Part of me hopes you will change your mind, but I also know it isn't my place to insist a stranger's life goes on when life must certainly be so painful for you. Either way, please remember there is no shame in changing your mind, and we will still be here for you if you stay. But if you do choose to go, I hope your transition out of this life is peaceful and with little pain.
This is very sweet, thank you. A part of me does want to change my mind, but I have no choice. My living conditions are horrible. I was gonna endure for a while and I had hope, but in the situation I am currently in, I have no choice but to go.
I really hope you find peace and comfort. I'm sorry it's come to this. Love n light darling.
Thank you so much, sweetheart!
 
d3ad

d3ad

Student
Mar 15, 2023
152
Update: SI has kicked in so bad. I ended up breaking my fast by eating a banana. I also feel so sleepy now, I still have to wait 6 more hours. I don't know what to do atp.
 
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Reactions: rozeske, moonflow3r and OptingOutSmiling
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,854
I have decided that I am just gonna go ahead and CTB. I will wait for everyone to go to sleep, at around 2 AM I will do it. I only have SN. I know it will cause me to vomit and stuff, and honestly I don't even care. I will drink enough to cause death. I do not have the patience to wait for weeks to get Meto and all that other stuff when I am in pain. I know that SN will cause me to die. I might experience a lot of pain and discomfort, but it does not matter. The short amount of discomfort and pain I will feel does not measure to the pain I have felt my whole life. I will update you guys before I drink it, and after I have drank it (if I will still be conscious). I am scared and nervous, but I know what is best for me and no amount of SI will convince me not to do this.
I hope all goes well for you. If I don't see you again, I would like to say that I'm glad I got the chance to interact with you on SaSu. And I do like your pfp.
 
shroomia

shroomia

Member
Mar 24, 2025
7
No matter what happens I hope you find the peace and the relief you search for. I'm really sorry life has been so hard on you
 
OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Wizard
Nov 25, 2024
687
Sorry for all the pain this life has caused you. Sending love your way and wishing you only peace as you deserve. Hope that you find calmness within, and don't feel too rushed, you will know when timing is best. Safe travels on your journey, if you feel it's time to leave.
 
moonflow3r

moonflow3r

Knocking on heaven’s door
Oct 6, 2023
179
Update: SI has kicked in so bad. I ended up breaking my fast by eating a banana. I also feel so sleepy now, I still have to wait 6 more hours. I don't know what to do atp.
SI is a bitch, be kind to yourself ❤️Try to distract yourself perhaps? Watch a tv show or movie ? Listen to nice music for the last time ? We are here for you <3
 
Last edited:
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
4,001
It is perfectly alright to change your mind. I hope you got to eat well and rest for now and I hope you gave yourself the benefit of time to see if your decision is the same in both your highs or lows or any in between. I wish you peace and all the best.
 
GuppyBoyo

GuppyBoyo

Member
Mar 6, 2025
63
I have decided that I am just gonna go ahead and CTB. I will wait for everyone to go to sleep, at around 2 AM I will do it. I only have SN. I know it will cause me to vomit and stuff, and honestly I don't even care. I will drink enough to cause death. I do not have the patience to wait for weeks to get Meto and all that other stuff when I am in pain. I know that SN will cause me to die. I might experience a lot of pain and discomfort, but it does not matter. The short amount of discomfort and pain I will feel does not measure to the pain I have felt my whole life. I will update you guys before I drink it, and after I have drank it (if I will still be conscious). I am scared and nervous, but I know what is best for me and no amount of SI will convince me not to do this.
i highly advise against it, the chances of failure are very high without anti emetics, it's best if you wait
 

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