Debunking a common anti-suicide argument

[doublecupj]

The argument goes

"Suicide is selfish because of the people who will suffer because of your loss. Your loved ones will be devastated and you're simply transferring your pain to them."

The problem with this argument is that you never see it applied anywhere else.

For example, let's say you are white, and you have parents who are vehemently racist, with a strong dislike of black people. Now you come along and decide they are incorrect in their bigotry and have made friends with several black people. If we apply the "don't hurt your loved ones" argument to this scenario, would you then dump your black friends and go along with your parents' racism? Because after all, not doing so would likely devastate them. They would be truly hurt by you placing your own judgement and values above their own.

This is the problem with the argument. It places far too much agency in the hands of loved ones and those NOT doing the suffering, and robs the judgement of the person making the decision.

 

[casual_existence]

There's nothing wrong with being selfish especially if it's for good reasons. I don't know if that reasoning applies completely since at least in that situation you can still see your friends. At school or if you're willing even lie to your parents about where you're going. With suicide there's no other option. No way for your loved ones to contact you. They'll only have memories.
This doesn't change the fact that you can do what you think is needed to end your suffering but if you really do have people that care they will hurt.
IMO it's a perfectly fine thing to bring up to a suicidal person. At the end of the day tho it's just one thing to add in a pros and cons list.