Celerity
shape without form, shade without colour
- Jan 24, 2021
- 2,733
You ever obsess over something and think it's The Greatest Thing Ever (TM) and, when you look back on it, you realize it wasn't shit? Kind of having this experience right now.
I think this will only happen more and more often as I approach the finish line. It's like the basic part of my mind that wants to live is grasping onto anything in a desperate effort to keep me here. I don't need to resist this process. If anything good and lasting were here for the taking in this world, I would have already found it. This grasping is like trying to hold onto quicksand or the last desperate gulps of air from a body that hasn't figured out it's dying yet - automatic and inescapable but ultimately futile.
I think this will only happen more and more often as I approach the finish line. It's like the basic part of my mind that wants to live is grasping onto anything in a desperate effort to keep me here. I don't need to resist this process. If anything good and lasting were here for the taking in this world, I would have already found it. This grasping is like trying to hold onto quicksand or the last desperate gulps of air from a body that hasn't figured out it's dying yet - automatic and inescapable but ultimately futile.