Help dealing with depression/anxiety as an addict in recovery?

[suzylou]

i used to be addicted to alcohol and benzos for a very long time and am almost a year sober, but the feelings of insane anxiety and hopelessness are really present in my life and normally i would self medicate with xanax or ativan or something but i don't want to fall back into that habit. i used to be on wellbutrin but it made my anxiety much worse and didn't help much, and then i was on lexapro which made me more suicidal. does anyone have any otc/herbal/whatever recommendations for ways to ease anxiety or feelings of emptiness and depression? i'll take anything even if it's kind of quacky or whatever. xo