DAE miss having a messy, messed up life?

[Rustysoupcan]

I have been doing well for a while now, but some part of me misses my messy life I used to have. Just not giving any fucks and only goal was getting through the day. I don't miss my 20/21 year old self, but I do miss my teen years. I didn't have bills, I could just fuck my life up any way I wanted. Do drugs, binge, starve, sleep all day. Only responsibility was a fast food job. Oh how part of me longs to be like that again. To spend my days on SS, drunk or high, or talking to strangers on the internet. I'm only 23 and I feel like my life is boring. I work a fairly demanding job, and with the time I do have off I don't have much money to do anything wild. I'm fairly introverted too, so I don't really hang out with people either. I know it's better now, and I'm not struggling day to day, but I miss the excitement and care free attitude I had.

 

[Deleted member 60002]

You might be saying something similar years from now about how you miss being 23. It's often hard to realize you're in the good times when you're actually in them. Just take your time to look around and appreciate the present.

 

[SleepingLessons]

Honestly yes, but to be honest when I really felt like this is was a sign that things weren't going as well in my life as I thought they were. I had finally gotten my life back on track but started craving the times when I was completely fucked up and non functional with depression, and I now realise it was because I was becoming completely overwhelmed with keeping up with normal day-to-day life.

I know it's better now, and I'm not struggling day to day, but I miss the excitement and care free attitude I had.

But it's definitely not worth going back to how you were before, and it sounds like you're doing an amazing job to be where you are right now. Maybe look at how you're feeling and try to adjust your life to accommodate these emotions instead of just pushing them down. Try to be spontaneous in the ways that you can, and maybe try plan days where you have absolutely no responsibilities if possible? While it's important to keep up healthy habits, sticking too much to them to the point it's making you unhappy can also be dangerous.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

On the other hand you can try to take satisfaction in the fact that you are doing it for yourself. Were that not the case you'd probably long for that life too.