Discussion DAE flip emotions drastically?

[nohopeforethefuture]

Okay, so I just posted in the regular suicide forum because just this morning I was in that state of mind. Accepted my reality, believed nothing could get better, sad and just waiting for the right time to purchase the ingredients I need to die.

And then my friend offered an apology to something he'd done that hurt me (I had asked for one on Saturday and basically told him I didnt want to hang out anymore after he didnt give one), and now I'm the complete opposite. I'm energized, happy, looking forward to the therapy that I'm hopefully getting soon (on a waiting list).

but I am not fooled by myself. This happens a lot, and it happens often. My mood will peak and then crash at the first thing to negatively affect me. In fact it might crash at work tomorrow since my supervisor tends to push all the wrong buttons. I am not diagnosed with anything, and most times I feel like I'm just faking anything and everything. But I'd really like to stay in this state of mind. I hate feeling sad and suicidal all the time. I hate being the mean person I always am when I get like that.

does this happen to anyone else? Is this normal? Is this something therapy can even fix? Most of the time I feel like nothing can help/fix me.

 

[Intotheflames]

All the time including just now, so It's funny that I came across this thread. I was alright a couple hours ago then my mom had to be manic and my mood flipped just like that. I am too cynical to seek therapy so can't answer that. Though for me I don't bother since I always have the ultimate relief with me.

(btw am I allowed to mention ctb in recovery section?)

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

All the time including just now, so It's funny that I came across this thread. I was alright a couple hours ago then my mom had to be manic and my mood flipped just like that. I am too cynical to seek therapy so can't answer that. Though for me I don't bother since I always have the ultimate relief with me.

(btw am I allowed to mention ctb in recovery section?)

Ha, I'm pretty cynical too. =P well, if I ever get into therapy maybe ill be posting on this section more often.

I'm sorry you also experience this, it's annoying. Also...idk if we are or not. Been awhile since I read the rules.

 

[nicetomeetu]

Yes, all day everyday, and I always take it all out on myself.
Ive been to therapy for years but Ive been having difficulties attending because online therapy is absolute ballsack.

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

Yes, all day everyday, and I always take it all out on myself.
Ive been to therapy for years but Ive been having difficulties attending because online therapy is absolute ballsack.

I feel the same way. I dont want to do online therapy. I want in person therapy. There's just something about in person connection that gets lost over the internet. Idk exactly how to explain it... maybe someday when we can incorporate VR or something into sessions it could be different lol

 

[Janeツ]

I know exactly how you feel. These extreme mood swings/flips can truly turn one's life around. I would consider regular mood swings as something normal (of course), but it gets more complicated when your emotions resemble an unexpectable rollercoaster, especially for the people that care for you.

From what I've experience speaking about it makes it easier for all persons involved. Just tell your friends that you experience phases of extreme emotions and maybe you can elaborate a fitting "solution" (a way to deal with these phases or to make them at least more bearable). Unfortunately, this whole "just-speak-about-it" method just works among friends and family members and not at your workplace, I guess.

If you feel like you are not capable of handling them or that they make your live not livable you can also think about seeing a therapist.

 

[Mentalmick]

Idk exactly how to explain it... maybe someday when we can incorporate VR or something into sessions it could be different lol

Especially when some nutter shown up with a pulse rifle and a grudge.

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

I know exactly how you feel. These extreme mood swings/flips can truly turn one's life around. I would consider regular mood swings as something normal (of course), but it gets more complicated when your emotions resemble an unexpectable rollercoaster, especially for the people that care for you.

From what I've experience speaking about it makes it easier for all persons involved. Just tell your friends that you experience phases of extreme emotions and maybe you can elaborate a fitting "solution" (a way to deal with these phases or to make them at least more bearable). Unfortunately, this whole "just-speak-about-it" method just works among friends and family members and not at your workplace, I guess.

If you feel like you are not capable of handling them or that they make your live not livable you can also think about seeing a therapist.

I love your response. Random q: do people usually have one mood throughout the day? I always see those guides like "Mark your mood down for the day" but like, my mood changes so much I can't accurately describe an entire day...

Also I have two main problems:

1. sometimes I get "happy" for no reason but mentally I wasnt prepared to let whatever was bothering me go. Say I had an argument with a friend because I was in a bad mood and I felt hurt by something they said but they dont think it was that big of a deal so they never apologized. Now I'm "happy" and dont care about the issue anymore and im hanging out with that friend again but the problem never got resolved which bothers me a lot, but to keep harping on the same issue is annoying for everyone, especially when I have no emotional energy left for fighting.

2. I do try to communicate and say "hey, how can we make this work", but it feels more like everyone is just having to walk on eggshells and bend over backwards to "make it work". And I can really only say that when I'm in a better mood and able to work with them. I want my friends to be able to be themselves, but sometimes I feel like I can't handle that because something will flip that switch and ill ruin the night because I'm suddenly in a bad mood for "no reason".

I realize you said go to therapy, and I am on a waiting list. Honestly tho I feel like I might never get in...and I have no idea if it'll even help. It heavily depends on what mood I'm in. Sometimes I feel like it wont help at all because I'm so anti change. And other days (like today) I think it could probably help if I tried... and other times I just dont even know what I'd start with because I have so many different issues...no one person is specialized in everything...

 

[mf25748]

Mine is usually loneliness, anger and sadness. I wake up lonely but since I can't talk to pretty much anyone because of severe social anxiety, it makes me angry I at myself then sad, it keeps looping all day as I spend time in My room playing with my phone. Il

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

Mine is usually loneliness, anger and sadness. I wake up lonely but since I can't talk to pretty much anyone because of severe social anxiety, it makes me angry I at myself then sad, it keeps looping all day as I spend time in My room playing with my phone. Il

Oh yeah, that understandable. I can relate to the getting mad at myself part. I get mad at myself for everything. I also waste my life away on my phone. At least we got this forum...lol

 

[1DayItWillBover]

Very much so. I was at fine at work today then someone told me "to work around it" and now im filled with rage

 

[Janeツ]

do people usually have one mood throughout the day?

The average person does also go through several emotions throughout a day, but their emotions do not change/flip as quickly as yours. Their emotions help them to get what they want (for example: feeling of loneliness = inner pain --> that leads to longing for company) but since your emotions change quickly and you probably feel them more intensive, you might feel exhausted and frustrated because of that. This is just a hypothesis so correct me if you do not feel this way.

the problem never got resolved which bothers me a lot,

Sounds like you suppress emotions. usually this not a good thing to do because they might come up at a later point in your life. It's like you're collecting bad emotions till' you are not able to handel them anymore.

I have no idea if it'll even help. It heavily depends on what mood I'm in.

The only advice I got for you is: "think about yourself. What do you need and how you can achieve it?" If you don't want to try therapy, then maybe there is a different way to get back your balance.

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

Very much so. I was at fine at work today then someone told me "to work around it" and now im filled with rage

I hate that. My supervisor is super micromanaging (yet she claims she doesnt want to micromanage us) and the smallest things can piss me off. I'm sorry your day was like that. That sucks.

The average person does also go through several emotions throughout a day, but their emotions do not change/flip as quickly as yours. Their emotions help them to get what they want (for example: feeling of loneliness = inner pain --> that leads to longing for company) but since your emotions change quickly and you probably feel them more intensive, you might feel exhausted and frustrated because of that. This is just a hypothesis so correct me if you do not feel this way.


Sounds like you suppress emotions. usually this not a good thing to do because they might come up at a later point in your life. It's like you're collecting bad emotions till' you are not able to handel them anymore.


The only advice I got for you is: "think about yourself. What do you need and how you can achieve it?" If you don't want to try therapy, then maybe there is a different way to get back your balance.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. =) sometimes I just find it hard to tell if I'm exaggerating things and I'm actually just a normal person (I just dont know it) or if there is something different. I'm almost nearly convinced that "normal" doesnt actually exist and everyone has just made up this idea of how things should be despite no one ever being able to be that way. Like, you never see people online say "oh I never have that problem" (or they just havent dug through their life yet to realize their problems).

I probably do suppress my emotions, thanks mom and dad. I dont do it on purpose though, and I am a generally emotional person. Like if I'm in a crying mood I will cry at anything. But if I'm in an apathetic mood I wont even cry at sad movies or songs. So...it really depends.

Its not that I dont want to try therapy, its that at certain times I dont want to try therapy. Other times I want to try and succeed at everything. As for what I want - thats the big ticket question right there. Maybe if I knew that it would help. It changes so much depending on my mood. Ultimately I think I want too much (bordering on extreme selfishness). Realizing that, I deny everything because I dont know where to draw the line. Then if I crack and try to go after something I want but dont get it, I get very upset (this can look like sadness, anger, or apathy depending on the situation). I have a lot of issues that I dont know how to solve, and sometimes I dont want to. So I never know how to fix them or what type of fix I should pursue because even how/if I want to approach these issues changes often...

that vortex just leads into a black hole which is how I found this site. I've been in a better mood mostly this week with some rough nights mixed in, but the lingering knowledge that nothing is actually fixed is still there. Once it all crashes down again I will probably not be able to think about "recovery".

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I think this is a phenomenom that is really common with people with most mental illnesses. If you think about it, the symptoms for many mental illnesses tend to include things like poor emotional regulation, impulsiveness, sensitivity, etc... even simple depression can present itself in these ways.

Probably this is related to bad coping mechanisms you learned when you were younger (or related to your mental illness). For example, do you tend to catastrophize when bad things happen? Are you the type to blow things out of porportion? struggling with those kinds of cognitive distortions can make you very sensitive and prone to mood swings and impulsiveness. We tend to learn to resort to this thinking when we are young, e.g. if our parents got angry easily we will internalize that and assume any expression of disapproval automatically means a terrible result, such as getting abused or humiliated. This protects us when we're little but then impairs our life later on.

In therapy they'll probably go for CBT or DBT for this. Maybe try doing a few worksheets and seeing how it works for you. It might also be a deeper thing too (BPD or bipolar) but it will really depend. Hopefully therapy works out for you! Honestly I didn't find CBT too helpful when I was in the middle of mood swings (espec when Im having a bout of depression) but I feel like it's helped me do less reckless things when I'm in an intense mood. You start to catch yourself when you're being unreasonable, which helps you think about your possible actions more.

 

[Squiddy]

Yup and I hate it, but that's the nature of my BPD and other mental illnesses unfortunately. One reason why I want to ctb is because of it :(

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

Yep, especially when it comes to even the slightest perceived criticism, but for other reasons too. It's usually because it ramps up my anxiety so much I'm shaking.
Just one example of how small of an interaction can flip me. I was once finally starting to feel better after a bad bout of depression and anxiety. I was in a good mood, washing the dishes. I started to dry my hands when there was still one more dish, because I remember I had a bowl in my room. My brother made a comment to my dad, "I like how she only does her own dishes in the sink," and both my dad and him laughed like this was something they both noticed. Even though I do dishes that aren't mine all the time, so the comment really surprised me. I said this and he just said "Okay whatever," while shaking his head laughing, like it was on obvious lie or something (it wasn't). I hate my brother and there's a lot more to why this comment bothered me so much, but I won't get into it. Anyway, I just walked back to my room, closed the door and started to cry. I don't cry often, but I'm more prone to it if I'm angry or incredibly stressed. My anxiety went through the roof, heart racing and all I could think about was killing myself again. All because my brother made that insignificant, snide remark.
I hate being this way.

 

[issyishere]

i hate this emotional swinging. its so taxing on your psyche. i have bad anxiety and the mornings are actually great for me. I begin getting worse as the day goes on and I begin remembering more and more about what makes me worried.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

i hate this emotional swinging. its so taxing on your psyche. i have bad anxiety and the mornings are actually great for me. I begin getting worse as the day goes on and I begin remembering more and more about what makes me worried.

Man, it's the exact opposite for me. My anxiety is at its worst in the morning, then gets better as day goes on and especially after the sun sets. Although it does goes in waves throughout the day. I always feel my best when I'm finally in bed lying down for the night, distracted by either a show/movie or looking at stuff online (like now). The anxiety or depression will ramp up again if I don't fall asleep immediately when I actually try though, because of my thoughts.

 

[issyishere]

Man, it's the exact opposite for me. My anxiety is at its worst in the morning, then gets better as day goes on and especially after the sun sets. Although it does goes in waves throughout the day. I always feel my best when I'm finally in bed lying down for the night, distracted by either a show/movie or looking at stuff online (like now). The anxiety or depression will ramp up again if I don't fall asleep immediately when I actually try though, because of my thoughts.

Oh yep I definitely relate to the sleep thing. My thoughts start racing if I don't get myself overexhausted by bed time. I need constant distractions to keep it at bay. I think mornings are easier cause I'm so groggy I couldn't really care about anything.

 

[ohhgeeitsme]

I get that. It's weird, because I have zero energy and feel really out of it for hours after waking up but yet my anxiety is awful and there is obviously a crazy amount of cortisol racing through my veins. I'm the kind of person though, that anxiety shuts me down. I can't do anything. I guess it just takes all my energy from me. When I relax is when I actually have the motivation to get up and do stuff. Go figure. It sucks because at night, I feel like I can finally overcome a lot of things and actually do something with my life then I wake up and my brain just resets and I have to start all over again.

 

[fent_dnm27]

lack of emotional stability/rapidly shifting moods is treatable, medicinally and otherwise.

I would at least look in to Dialectic Behavior Therapy. You don't need a diagnosis to enter most treatment groups for that (at least where I'm from).

 

[nohopeforethefuture]

lack of emotional stability/rapidly shifting moods is treatable, medicinally and otherwise.

I would at least look in to Dialectic Behavior Therapy. You don't need a diagnosis to enter most treatment groups for that (at least where I'm from).

Well, I'm in Cali so I probably wont. But I've also never done (serious) therapy before. (I did the really once for three weeks in 2019...but I dont count that and it wasnt a positive experience.)

unfortunately after asking for help is usually when I'm the most resistant to actually putting anything into practice. Which is when I get into my anti therapy moods because if I just cause myself to be this way on purpose, why waste their time and mine? Still on a waiting list though...hopefully...

I think this is a phenomenom that is really common with people with most mental illnesses. If you think about it, the symptoms for many mental illnesses tend to include things like poor emotional regulation, impulsiveness, sensitivity, etc... even simple depression can present itself in these ways.

Probably this is related to bad coping mechanisms you learned when you were younger (or related to your mental illness). For example, do you tend to catastrophize when bad things happen? Are you the type to blow things out of porportion? struggling with those kinds of cognitive distortions can make you very sensitive and prone to mood swings and impulsiveness. We tend to learn to resort to this thinking when we are young, e.g. if our parents got angry easily we will internalize that and assume any expression of disapproval automatically means a terrible result, such as getting abused or humiliated. This protects us when we're little but then impairs our life later on.

In therapy they'll probably go for CBT or DBT for this. Maybe try doing a few worksheets and seeing how it works for you. It might also be a deeper thing too (BPD or bipolar) but it will really depend. Hopefully therapy works out for you! Honestly I didn't find CBT too helpful when I was in the middle of mood swings (espec when Im having a bout of depression) but I feel like it's helped me do less reckless things when I'm in an intense mood. You start to catch yourself when you're being unreasonable, which helps you think about your possible actions more.

I've started to wonder if there is even such a person without a mental illness. Are we all just sick, maybe with different things? Is there even an example of a real living normal person?

catastrophize, check. Blow things "out of proportion" (not how I see it but how others do), check. But see, I just can't visualize my childhood as negative. There are so many things I hated about it, but I can't make myself believe that they were things I'm allowed to hate. Definitely not textbook abuse when you listen to other people's stories (no sex screaming or hitting). I dont even think there was any abuse at all, despite wishing there was so I could justify this hatred. But maybe I'm just the 1% whos actually just a bad kid. I often feel like I exaggerate everything to fit in somewhere when really I dont belong anywhere.

sometimes I really want a diagnosis so I can prove there's something wrong. But ultimately I think id just force myself into a diagnosis box which would make therapy just part of the larger problem. *sigh* I think too much. This is when I just want to ctb instead. Not deal with me gaslighting myself.

Yep, especially when it comes to even the slightest perceived criticism, but for other reasons too. It's usually because it ramps up my anxiety so much I'm shaking.
Just one example of how small of an interaction can flip me. I was once finally starting to feel better after a bad bout of depression and anxiety. I was in a good mood, washing the dishes. I started to dry my hands when there was still one more dish, because I remember I had a bowl in my room. My brother made a comment to my dad, "I like how she only does her own dishes in the sink," and both my dad and him laughed like this was something they both noticed. Even though I do dishes that aren't mine all the time, so the comment really surprised me. I said this and he just said "Okay whatever," while shaking his head laughing, like it was on obvious lie or something (it wasn't). I hate my brother and there's a lot more to why this comment bothered me so much, but I won't get into it. Anyway, I just walked back to my room, closed the door and started to cry. I don't cry often, but I'm more prone to it if I'm angry or incredibly stressed. My anxiety went through the roof, heart racing and all I could think about was killing myself again. All because my brother made that insignificant, snide remark.
I hate being this way.

I completely understand. Does not everyone react the same way? I know I would to a comment like that (and have). I feel like maybe we're the normal ones. Everyone else is just a sociopath.

i hate this emotional swinging. its so taxing on your psyche. i have bad anxiety and the mornings are actually great for me. I begin getting worse as the day goes on and I begin remembering more and more about what makes me worried.

My good parts tend to be mid day. But thats only it works gone well.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I've started to wonder if there is even such a person without a mental illness. Are we all just sick, maybe with different things? Is there even an example of a real living normal person?

catastrophize, check. Blow things "out of proportion" (not how I see it but how others do), check. But see, I just can't visualize my childhood as negative. There are so many things I hated about it, but I can't make myself believe that they were things I'm allowed to hate. Definitely not textbook abuse when you listen to other people's stories (no sex screaming or hitting). I dont even think there was any abuse at all, despite wishing there was so I could justify this hatred. But maybe I'm just the 1% whos actually just a bad kid. I often feel like I exaggerate everything to fit in somewhere when really I dont belong anywhere.

sometimes I really want a diagnosis so I can prove there's something wrong. But ultimately I think id just force myself into a diagnosis box which would make therapy just part of the larger problem. *sigh* I think too much. This is when I just want to ctb instead. Not deal with me gaslighting myself.

The way I see it is like shyness. A lot of normal, healthy people are shy, some are very shy. But then there is shyness that is a result or symptom of mental illness. Being so shy that you dont leave the house for weeks at a time is textbook social anxiety disorder. It's all about the impairment on your life. Everyone has mood swings and does reckless things sometimes. But it's a problem if you sit down and research suicide methods when you're sad, scream and cancel your friends when you're mad, or if you spend tons of money and suddenly quit your job whenever you're happy. Because then that means your moods are extreme, lead to extreme outcomes, and result in a negative impact for yourself or others, even if you have a "positive" swing.

You can apply that same idea to childhoods. There are lots of people with very tumultuous childhoods. Some people were textbook abused in the ways you've described. They might have some traumas but overall are doing fine and have never dealt with mental illness. But other people are just predisposed to developing issues from their childhood experiences. My parents were not abusive either, but I internalized some little things that they did to me that almost all parents in my culture do (e.g. getting impatient when I did chores). You might also be predisposed and negatively internalized a childhood experience. It's not always someone's fault. It's probably just some quirk in human development. It's like, if your parents tended to put pressure on you as a kid --> youre more likely to derive your self-esteem from external factors. This could lead a variety of mental illnesses ranging from eating disorders, to major depression, to personality disorders.

Rest assured though that there doesnt need to be some big trauma for you to feel the way that you do. There's so much we dont know about mental illness, it could be caused by anything. The fact that youve ever considered ctb to this degree means you most definitely have depression at least, I've never met a normal, healthy person who has considered suicide before. But depression and anxiety and even tougher illnesses like bipolar and BPD can be managed. You could get to a point where these feelings don't impact your life anymore.

In therapy they're not gonna look at you as "the client with this diagnosis." If they do then youll already know to look for someone else. In good therapy, diagnosis will rarely come up (especially if its your very first time) and they will look at you as a whole, for all of your experiences and issues. Your problems are not due to an inherent evilness. It's all about learning to forgive yourself and manage your thoughts properly. Everyone will feel sad or angry or whatever, and if you have depression you'll probably be sadder for longer than nornal people are. but the aim with therapy is to get you to understand that these moods are just moods, and you are in control of your life. You'll learn what is actually a productive thought and how to feed into those rather than dwell in the unproductive things. Plus having a normal and objective person listening to you really helps with catching the super ridiculous stuff that mental illness makes you say. Of course the effectiveness of therapy is hit-or-miss for a lot of people, but hopefully you can get someone good who actually gets at the root of your issues and challenges you when you're ready to take it on.