Discussion DAE find themselves projecting their desire to CTB onto others?

[Ame]

It is something that has been bothering me for a while since joining this forum. I find that I am taking potentially innocuous things that have been said or done by others in my life as being "red flags" warning of their "imminent suicide attempts". I am aware that I am a generally anxious person, that I've a tendency to read too much between the lines and to fill in the gaps in my knowledge with the absolute worse case scenarios. I don't know if it is the guilt, or simply the byproduct of spending a lot of my free time in a community where most members are actively suicidal. Still, this tendency toward projection brings me a lot of stress. It can be exhausting to worry about losing someone how is dear. Sometimes a friend will say something that will remind me of a person here who has since CTB and I am left feeling sick.

I know that these feelings make me a hypocrite and I will never deny my own hypocrisy...It's just something that I wanted to get off of my chest and maybe use to start a conversation with those who are experiencing something similar.

 

[SinisterKid]

So you are now more aware of "signs" that someone might be suffering in a similar way to yourself? I would suggest that is a good thing and not hypocrisy at all. If more people saw the signs or were at least aware of some of them, then I think the suicide rate would fall. We hear constantly "I had no idea they were suicidal" "If only they had spoken about it". So no, I dont think you are projecting anything, you have experienced something that now makes you stop and think/question events you relate to.

 

[Ame]

I agree with your take and I appreciate your efforts to put forward and alternative perspective with a positive spin on something that has been presented in a negative light. If there is any "silver lining" to be found on the dark cloud of mental illness, I would say that it takes the form of increased awareness and a heightened empathy for others. Of course that is not always the case and ultimately, it is up to us to decide what lessons we take along with us from painful experiences.

Still, there is a distinction to be made between "being more aware of legitimate warning signs" and "obsessing over finding signs in absolutely everything even in places where there are none". For me, I feel that I am leaning more toward the latter and sometimes find it difficult to cope. A friend can express negative feelings about the uncertainty of the future or doubt their abilities without secretly intending to kill themselves.

 

[Darkbrett]

It's a sign something isn't right. Go with your gut. Act accordingly.

 

[SinisterKid]

As you are aware @Ame the line between overly concerned and anxiety is a fine one. So is the line between awareness and obsession. Where you are standing, in regard of that line is something only you can know. Is seeing your friends negative thoughts about the future being something more than that a obsessive thought or awareness born of experience? Hopefully you will find the answer at some point.