CTB with SN

[xostaticxo]

So, my SN arrived yesterday. Luckily I'm safe to post now as my partner put on her snapchat that she's going to bed (we've had an argument) and I know posting on here at the moment is safe for tonight. Theres the possibility of her seeing this tomorrow and all I can do is apologise.

But with no further ado,

So I'm considering taking it tonight. I've promised my partner that I can live, the truth is, I'm struggling with that promise and keeping that promise. I've been trying to put on a facade all day with my partner so she doesn't become concerned.

This isn't an easy thing to post but I've wanted to die for an incredible long time and feel like the ball is truly in my court now.

If I live, there will only be one reason, and that is for my partner but to be honest, I'm not sure I can anymore. I've been going through it all in my head. With more and more time to think it through, think of a plan and how not to get caught.

I'm not posting anything on social media or even giving anyone I know the chance to stop me.

Now my partner has her phone off, there is plenty of opportunity and I don't think I can hold on much longer.

I don't want to hurt her and I know this will.

If I don't post again, I've CTB. See you all on the otherside.

 

[idontwannadothisanym]

So, my SN arrived yesterday. Luckily I'm safe to post now as my partner put on her snapchat that she's going to bed (we've had an argument) and I know posting on here at the moment is safe for tonight. Theres the possibility of her seeing this tomorrow and all I can do is apologise.

But with no further ado,

So I'm considering taking it tonight. I've promised my partner that I can live, the truth is, I'm struggling with that promise and keeping that promise. I've been trying to put on a facade all day with my partner so she doesn't become concerned.

This isn't an easy thing to post but I've wanted to die for an incredible long time and feel like the ball is truly in my court now.

If I live, there will only be one reason, and that is for my partner but to be honest, I'm not sure I can anymore. I've been going through it all in my head. With more and more time to think it through, think of a plan and how not to get caught.

I'm not posting anything on social media or even giving anyone I know the chance to stop me.

Now my partner has her phone off, there is plenty of opportunity and I don't think I can hold on much longer.

I don't want to hurt her and I know this will.

If I don't post again, I've CTB. See you all on the otherside.

I wish you peace in whatever you decide... and I will see you on the other side soon god bless you

 

[InTheAirTonight]

Good luck and peace to you. I hope I don't see you on the other side. Since I don't want an afterlife

 

[Donk]

safe journey my friend

 

[xostaticxo]

Update: My partner wasn't actually sleeping so I ended up confessing to her. I've agreed not to do anything tonight so the opportunity to choose has been taken away but it's fine.

I know if I die, she dies and that's what makes it hard. Her subconscious comes out sometimes while she's asleep and we are normally on call so I hear it and in her subconscious told me she'd be dead without me.

The love I have for her means dying is just as much of a hard choice as living.

I guess I just chose love.

 

[darkghost]

I hope you find your peace my friend