Discussion CTB why does existence terrify you?

[Versailles]

Beyond escaping the problems you currently have, do you think in CTB because you feel that life or the mere fact of existing is something terrifying?

 

[Adamsnolife]

I've made a lot of life mistakes, health problems. Over the past few years life to me is just an existence then anything else

 

[siray]

Yes, existing as me is horror, I have a ghastly sickness in my chest that won't go away ever, I'm extremely ugly and weird so I even feel guilty showing my face to my family, let alone talking to them.

I had been planning to CTB ever since I was 14 years old, now I'm 24 I don't know why the fuck I stayed this long.

Anything can happen to me as long as I exist, such extreme suffering I'm in all the time I can't even bring myself to weep. I feel helplessly miserable when I wake up in the morning after 9-10 hours of sleep. I'm thinking of getting of 7 hours now, as a well rested mind for me increases feelings of existential dread.

 

[Sra_TZ]

In my humble opinion, the mere concept of existing is not only terrifying, it is also utterly meaningless.

 

[Amumu]

I mean, there is a reason why we've always had religions and spirituality since 300,000 BC. We're not made not to have a meaning, existentialism is bullshit. Just saying "if you just enjoy life, everything's ok, you give a meaning to your life". No. The meaning has always been external, not internal. We're biologically programmed to have an external meaning.

And when you're also depressed because of shitty genes, traumatic experiences, etc., this worsens the situation. But honestly I'm fully pro-choice and if someone has a "perfect" life (if that even makes sense, which I don't think so) but finds life meaningless I perfectly understand they want to end their life.

 

[hʚll]

yes. only the fact that i exist makes me want to die. for me existing implies that i'm constantly hurting others and myself, without being able to do anything about it. and also the lack of consent in all this makes me fall in a even deeper state of despair/dread
death seems the only way to stop this evil plan. at least that's what i hope.

 

[Fakereality]

look at this planet earth there are like billions of humans on it a species which excel at deception and cruelty and are having a rat race among themselves to grab tiny pieces of the resources they are allowed to have by their masters so they stop at nothing to pull down each other and be the one to have that tiny resource and I am supposed to deal with these horrible creatures of hell to get some resources in order to survive all while dealing with the mental and physical pain I got because of my interaction with them and so on.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Mere existing while everybody else is living is a torture and makes me feel pity for myself. I feel unfit for the super normal society.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I am terrified of life. It is a scary thing how this life holds unlimited potential for suffering, there is no limit as to how bad life can get. Non existence is the complete absence of suffering, and is what I want. It sounds so wonderful to never have to experience anything again. The fact that we exist in the first place is the cause of all of our problems. I see existence as a curse. Life is just so pointless too, we suffer for the sake of it.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

its definitely terrifying. I was never supposed to be here. First off, I wasnt planned by my mom and dad, secondly my genes are so bad I was supposed to die as a baby according to nature, but science saved me. Now I'm depressed everyday and have had psychosis because of my genes. So fuck this shit, I want out

 

[Snake of Eden]

It is facing decades of poverty, isolation, sickness physically and mentally that terrifies me. It is torturing to have to face these types of thoughts on a daily basis. Very slow and ever worsening death.