CTB training

[Deer_Dairy]

So... the gun I've chosen arrived three weeks ago. Since than, I was trying to imagine how it will feel when the day comes.
I am often rehearsing preparation, aiming on the correct spot and pulling the trigger (no cartridge loaded in chamber, of course).
Pulling the trigger and that "click" was terrifying for first few tries, because I have really long training how to operate gun safely, but now I am perfectly used to it. It is so natural. Take a gun, place it on right spot, pull the trigger.
Do you think this training will help me when the round will be waiting in the chamber?
I am still not sure if I am ready.

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

So... the gun I've chosen arrived three weeks ago. Since than, I was trying to imagine how it will feel when the day comes.
I am often rehearsing preparation, aiming on the correct spot and pulling the trigger (no cartridge loaded in chamber, of course).
Pulling the trigger and that "click" was terrifying for first few tries, because I have really long training how to operate gun safely, but now I am perfectly used to it. It is so natural. Take a gun, place it on right spot, pull the trigger.
Do you think this training will help me when the round will be waiting in the chamber?
I am still not sure if I am ready.

I think it does desensitize the brain. The reason I say that is because I have been sticking my head in a slipknot, to get used to the idea; and each time I do it, I go further and further. Last time I did it, I don't even know how I managed to get out of position, because I was literally blacked out for a second.

So yeah, I think it does "train the brain".

 

[Dinozauria]

I think it'll definitely help a bit
It will probably be difficult when it's actually loaded (particularly on the emotional side), but your practicing should make it easier since you already know the actions to do and are desensitized to it

 

[knowledgeseeking]

I think will it will help a little, but once you put it to your head knowing there is a bullet in the chamber, I think you'll still have to fight SI. Practicing is probably a good idea, but I don't think it will make it easy.

Best of luck.

 

[pinapellicer]

So... the gun I've chosen arrived three weeks ago. Since than, I was trying to imagine how it will feel when the day comes.
I am often rehearsing preparation, aiming on the correct spot and pulling the trigger (no cartridge loaded in chamber, of course).
Pulling the trigger and that "click" was terrifying for first few tries, because I have really long training how to operate gun safely, but now I am perfectly used to it. It is so natural. Take a gun, place it on right spot, pull the trigger.
Do you think this training will help me when the round will be waiting in the chamber?
I am still not sure if I am ready.

How did you decide you are ready to ctb? Were is your determination coming from? Is it hopelessness, or active distress?
I also have my "gun" ready, but i'm still trying to determine what makes the difference between a person with a gun, and a person who ctb with a gun.
What makes you so sure that you will become the latter, and not just stay as the former?

 

[Deer_Dairy]

How did you decide you are ready to ctb? Were is your determination coming from? Is it hopelessness, or active distress?
I also have my "gun" ready, but i'm still trying to determine what makes the difference between a person with a gun, and a person who ctb with a gun.
What makes you so sure that you will become the latter, and not just stay as the former?

For me, itt is more like philosophical decision, now. I am suicidal for more than 16 years. But now, for the first time, I feel it like "it was enough."
I do not see a point of life. Cost/benefit of what I lived and what is waiting for me is negative. Happy moments are scarce in life, most of it is grey and when you have chronic illness preventing you doing a lot of things (not only fun ones, but like no night shifts, no professional driving, no dangerous jobs etc.), it's not much to be looking forward to in life.
I'll work, have a mortage, buy a house, pay the debt for next 30 years, have kids, die. For 30+ years I would live life which will be dictated by crippling debt. Live in fear if I'll be able to pay the bank, pay for school for my kids etc.
And before my 70's, I will be free of debt, ready to live the life I want. With the malfunctioning body, because of age, and waiting for death to come in next years.
What is the point of life like this? It is mostly living to survive, mostly in grey or black range of emotions.
I would choose different life, wanderer for a while, then working somewhere in different country, move again, not to stay still, make some money to retire peacefully when I would feel it is time. But due to my health conditions, I can't do it.
Btw, I never felt truly happy in my life. Moments when I was happy were "extreme", basically sex, drugs, rock and roll. Or when I had enough money to live carelessly for a while. I mean like I was able to pay a vacation for week or two and forget about everything.
You can't live like this for long, obviously.

 

[meatballlover]

Dont have a gun but always wondered why gun owners dont train like this and then play russian roullete

 

[Deer_Dairy]

Dont have a gun but always wondered why gun owners dont train like this and then play russian roullete

With automatic gun? You lose at the first try :D

 

[meatballlover]

With automatic gun? You lose at the first try :D

Ok fair point

 

[TheTwelthRootOfTwo]

With automatic gun? You lose at the first try :D

Even with a semi automatic, once there is a round in the chamber.