i plan on hopefully ctb sometime tuesday or wednesday by ingesting 5g of sodium azide. im likely to throw a lot of this up, but it's so fast acting so by the time i throw up, enough will be in to have me dead.
im giving tomorrow one final "push" on the chance something stops me. i dont know if anything will. it doesnt get better or at least it hasnt yet.
i mostly fear being condemned to hell, but am hoping that doesnt happen. you cant say i havent tried; ive yk tried talking to the samaritans, friends, other hotlines and none of it helps. just sorta amplifies that "this is the kind of person u r" if that makes sense.
here's to life.
im giving tomorrow one final "push" on the chance something stops me. i dont know if anything will. it doesnt get better or at least it hasnt yet.
i mostly fear being condemned to hell, but am hoping that doesnt happen. you cant say i havent tried; ive yk tried talking to the samaritans, friends, other hotlines and none of it helps. just sorta amplifies that "this is the kind of person u r" if that makes sense.
here's to life.
