Blueberry Panic
The Gallow Rose
- Jan 5, 2025
- 1,710
I've taken a lot of time for proper preparation and research, a lot of user on here told me to spend time doing such ... so I did.
I've faced death and I'm not afraid to face it again...
I know someone is actively stalking my account so I'm not giving a date or naming the method. Let's just say my death will be memorable for the people who find my body.... If this stalker cared they'd reach out and not cut me off but they obviously dont care enough to say anything to me and I...fear they'll use the date against me by calling police and I don't want to be saved like before... I don't want my life to get any worse then how it is now.
I know a few people actually care about me but they don't care enough... and to be honest it doesn't matter anymore... I want to die more than anything now. I don't want to see what the new year looks like and I don't want to constantly see the people around me change and I don't want to continue to look back at the people who are gone and can't change anymore.
I'm beyond burned out from myself and from people in general... There is only so much pain a person can take, and only so much a person can handle before they eventually break. Suicide isn't for others, it's for ourselves. And while the survivors of a suicide may feel that its a selfish action.. it's far more selfish for them to ask us to keep suffering in your own pain and misery, if we're no longer capable of doing so.
And at this moment... I'm no longer capable to live a life that's only going downhill.
The greatest gift I could receive this year is my own death and I'm patiently waiting for the day I unwrap it and know peace.
I appreciate so many users on here , I'm not going to name names because they obviously know who they are. This community has helped me more then any other on the internet ... and I love you all . Thank you for caring and treating me with respect when so many in my life haven't.
I hope we all find peace either in life or in death.
I've faced death and I'm not afraid to face it again...
I know someone is actively stalking my account so I'm not giving a date or naming the method. Let's just say my death will be memorable for the people who find my body.... If this stalker cared they'd reach out and not cut me off but they obviously dont care enough to say anything to me and I...fear they'll use the date against me by calling police and I don't want to be saved like before... I don't want my life to get any worse then how it is now.
I know a few people actually care about me but they don't care enough... and to be honest it doesn't matter anymore... I want to die more than anything now. I don't want to see what the new year looks like and I don't want to constantly see the people around me change and I don't want to continue to look back at the people who are gone and can't change anymore.
I'm beyond burned out from myself and from people in general... There is only so much pain a person can take, and only so much a person can handle before they eventually break. Suicide isn't for others, it's for ourselves. And while the survivors of a suicide may feel that its a selfish action.. it's far more selfish for them to ask us to keep suffering in your own pain and misery, if we're no longer capable of doing so.
And at this moment... I'm no longer capable to live a life that's only going downhill.
The greatest gift I could receive this year is my own death and I'm patiently waiting for the day I unwrap it and know peace.
I appreciate so many users on here , I'm not going to name names because they obviously know who they are. This community has helped me more then any other on the internet ... and I love you all . Thank you for caring and treating me with respect when so many in my life haven't.
I hope we all find peace either in life or in death.
