CTB set for this week

[TheNorthernSilence]

Well, it's been a long road. I'm now 33 and I've never felt this connected with people before so thank you all for that. I'm going way out of my comfort zone when writing this really. I don't think I've ever started a thread yet, and yet, this is going to be the most personal one for me.

I've been trying to give my life a chance so many times but it's like taking one step forward and three steps backwards all the time. I've suffered the effects of recession in 2008 as I didn't get a job when I graduated and I'm not going to live that again when the effects of the lockdown affect the economy once again. I'm not sure if it makes any difference though, I feel like I'm already a lost cause in so many ways. I've made some bad choices regarding my education so a part of this is also on me and I take full responsibility for it.

I have just too much of mental and physical suffering. I feel like I didn't have a chance in the first place. 15+ years of being in the system, so many different meds and treatments without an improvement. To love is to let go, I think. I've been living only for my mom for quite a while and I know she's going to be devastated especially when I'm her only child. I feel so bad about this, but I just can't do this anymore. I feel like that the future has nothing to offer for me and I'm also scared of it too.

I really would like to mention some members in particular but I'm sure that I would forget someone important. So all in all, thank you all for your support. I really feel that I'm at peace now and this community has a lot to do with it.

The method that I chose to exit is N. I'll be updating this thread as the moment of freedom comes closer.

 

[Living sucks]

Sorry life disappointed you. Wish you nothing but peace.

 

[lululoo]

I'm so sorry things didn't get better and you reached this point. My heart aches for you.
I've also been feeling like the end is near, but not quite ready to go this week.
Please PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Just echoing other people really. I'm so sorry love ❤ I wish you all the luck and peace in the world when the time comes.

 

[itsamadworld]

Sorry for the disconnect you feel, that's really tough when we're social creatures. The system in general is a nightmare! I really wish you peace in your direction.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

So sorry life has become hard for you. I wish you the best!

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

I don't think I'm going to be able to pull through this yet thank you so much for your support, although I feel like I don't deserve it.

 

[lululoo]

I don't think I'm going to be able to pull through this yet thank you so much for your support, although I feel like I don't deserve it.

You do deserve it!

 

[idontevenknowanymore]

Hope you'll finally be at peace

 

[LMLN]

I don't think I'm going to be able to pull through this yet thank you so much for your support, although I feel like I don't deserve it.

There is no rush, or even a need to do it at all. Do not ever feel pressured to do something you do not want to do. We are here for you whatever you decide.

 

[Zilch]

Well, it's been a long road. I'm now 33 and I've never felt this connected with people before so thank you all for that. I'm going way out of my comfort zone when writing this really. I don't think I've ever started a thread yet, and yet, this is going to be the most personal one for me.

I've been trying to give my life a chance so many times but it's like taking one step forward and three steps backwards all the time. I've suffered the effects of recession in 2008 as I didn't get a job when I graduated and I'm not going to live that again when the effects of the lockdown affect the economy once again. I'm not sure if it makes any difference though, I feel like I'm already a lost cause in so many ways. I've made some bad choices regarding my education so a part of this is also on me and I take full responsibility for it.

I have just too much of mental and physical suffering. I feel like I didn't have a chance in the first place. 15+ years of being in the system, so many different meds and treatments without an improvement. To love is to let go, I think. I've been living only for my mom for quite a while and I know she's going to be devastated especially when I'm her only child. I feel so bad about this, but I just can't do this anymore. I feel like that the future has nothing to offer for me and I'm also scared of it too.

I really would like to mention some members in particular but I'm sure that I would forget someone important. So all in all, thank you all for your support. I really feel that I'm at peace now and this community has a lot to do with it.

The method that I chose to exit is N. I'll be updating this thread as the moment of freedom comes closer.

I really hope you find your peace with whatever u want to do
But remember if you ever have second thoughts we are all there for you

 

[FireFox]

Well, it's been a long road. I'm now 33 and I've never felt this connected with people before so thank you all for that. I'm going way out of my comfort zone when writing this really. I don't think I've ever started a thread yet, and yet, this is going to be the most personal one for me.

I've been trying to give my life a chance so many times but it's like taking one step forward and three steps backwards all the time. I've suffered the effects of recession in 2008 as I didn't get a job when I graduated and I'm not going to live that again when the effects of the lockdown affect the economy once again. I'm not sure if it makes any difference though, I feel like I'm already a lost cause in so many ways. I've made some bad choices regarding my education so a part of this is also on me and I take full responsibility for it.

I have just too much of mental and physical suffering. I feel like I didn't have a chance in the first place. 15+ years of being in the system, so many different meds and treatments without an improvement. To love is to let go, I think. I've been living only for my mom for quite a while and I know she's going to be devastated especially when I'm her only child. I feel so bad about this, but I just can't do this anymore. I feel like that the future has nothing to offer for me and I'm also scared of it too.

I really would like to mention some members in particular but I'm sure that I would forget someone important. So all in all, thank you all for your support. I really feel that I'm at peace now and this community has a lot to do with it.

The method that I chose to exit is N. I'll be updating this thread as the moment of freedom comes closer.

@TheNorthernSilence
This forum does feel like a community and people actually listen to you. No one judges you. If outside world did more to help , support and listen sucidial people forums like this wouldnt exist. Being here i learned that.

I live in the UK what country do live in.
The effects of the covid 19 are worse than the virus itself. The people who advocate for a longer lockdown dont realise the econonic damage they are doing.
I am so sorry to hear that.
I am gradaute too and feel i like i made bad decisions regarding my education as well. I gradauted last year

What did you study if dont mind me asking

Please take care of yourself
Love your friend
FireFox

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

@TheNorthernSilence
This forum does feel like a community and people actually listen to you. No one judges you. If outside world did more to help , support and listen sucidial people forums like this wouldnt exist. Being here i learned that.

I live in the UK what country do live in.
The effects of the covid 19 are worse than the virus itself. The people who advocate for a longer lockdown dont realise the econonic damage they are doing.
I am so sorry to hear that.
I am gradaute too and feel i like i made bad decisions regarding my education as well. I gradauted last year

What did you study if dont mind me asking

Please take care of yourself
Love your friend
FireFox

Hi, thank you so much for you kind words. I've sent you a PM.