Help CTB options for someone with crippling anxiety?

[iftheworldwasending]

was just wondering if anyone had any ideas on CTB while struggling with chronic anxiety and OCD? i purchased SN two times, threw it out both times because i had anxiety, now i'm regretting it. i don't want too much time to think about my decision. i know this IS a big decision, but i've already decided i want to go through with it, i just don't know how to get over the fear of doing it. i know there's a phrase on here, but i can't remember what it is.

any tips would be wonderful.
xx

 

[lucacaro]

Same. Tried yesterday to drink it and the anxiety got me so bad.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

Same. Tried yesterday to drink it and the anxiety got me so bad.

that's my problem. and i have so many stomach issues, i'm just so afraid something would go wrong. i just wish there was a "simpler" way for us. <3

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I'm pretty numb most of the time because of my trauma but even I experience the same biological fear of death as everyone else. The only thing that helps is reminding myself of all of the terrible things in my life and that I realistically have no future other than suffering unless I kill myself.

 

[Pookie]

In Marilyn Monroe's day all we would have had to do is drink some alcohol and take barbiturates and die in our sleep. Nowadays you can barely OD on anything unless you're lucky. Drugs are designed to be much safer now.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

I'm pretty numb most of the time because of my trauma but even I experience the same biological fear of death as everyone else. The only thing that helps is reminding myself of all of the terrible things in my life and that I realistically have no future other than suffering unless I kill myself.

this was actually helpful, thank you.

In Marilyn Monroe's day all we would have had to do is drink some alcohol and take barbiturates and die in our sleep. Nowadays you can barely OD on anything unless you're lucky. Drugs are designed to be much safer now.

it's funny you say this, i just hung a marilyn piece up on my wall in my bathroom to remind myself of her and what she went through. she was much stronger than i am, sadly. i wish it was that easy to end it.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

In Marilyn Monroe's day all we would have had to do is drink some alcohol and take barbiturates and die in our sleep. Nowadays you can barely OD on anything unless you're lucky. Drugs are designed to be much safer now.

"Safe" enough not to kill you, but not safe enough to avoid giving you debilitating symptoms; it's ironic in a way..

 

[lucacaro]

I'm pretty numb most of the time because of my trauma but even I experience the same biological fear of death as everyone else. The only thing that helps is reminding myself of all of the terrible things in my life and that I realistically have no future other than suffering unless I kill myself.

Yeah honestly thinking those sorts of things are about what did it for me. I didn't drink SN but that was a confidence booster.