Story CTB luck

[d3ad]

I was planning to buy SN to CTB, but then as I was about to make the purchase I noticed that the delivery price was high. I do not have enough money to even buy food, so I just cancelled. I was planning to do it next month, but I am in so much pain, deep pain emotionally. I then asked the universe to take my life, I begged while crying to just never wake up again. I must admit, though, that I am an atheist. I am just going through hell. I want out. A week later, I accidentally stumbled upon a substance, much much cheaper than SN and easily available. I used a small dose and it induced certain symptoms on me, and instantly I knew that it would work. I also used it in an attempt I had 6 years ago, but it failed since I use a small dose. I will buy it tomorrow, and hopefully be able to CTB. I searched it online, and it does indeed cause damage in larger doses. The problem is, it results in a coma. I am hoping to use an extremely high dose which will actually do the trick. I cannot wait for tomorrow. My pain will end! :)

 

[Theresnoescape]

Whatever that substance is, I hope it doesn't cause you pain, good luck and I hope you find peace.

 

[Glenferd666]

I understand how you feel, this existence is cruel. Anyways wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide .

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck! I hope you find peace!

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, to me existence really is too cruel, I hope that you find the peace you search for.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Whatever the substance is, I hope you've thoroughly researched its success rate (if such data even exists) and possible outcomes if you fail. The absolute worst thing would be making an attempt and then being maimed in some manner.

Whatever you end up deciding to do, I wish you well.

 

[d3ad]

Thank you everyone for the lovely comments. I highly appreciate it!
Unfortunately I might end up in a coma, instead of dying, and get seizures too. I am okay with that, as long as I won't be conscious.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Thank you everyone for the lovely comments. I highly appreciate it!
Unfortunately I might end up in a coma, instead of dying, and get seizures too. I am okay with that, as long as I won't be conscious.

being in a coma isn't a guaranteed escape. you could still be conscious, hearing and thinking but unable to move, see, or speak. you could have a coma dream (which could either be good, or nightmarish). Comas are also not guaranteed to last forever, and once you come out of it you'll have brain damage (to what degree depends on how long your coma lasted. Some recover quickly, others it takes years).

In my opinion, this is not a very good plan. If it were me, I would still try to get my hands on SN, even if that requires me to sell some assets to get money. SN, even without antiemetics, would be a better option. it's been proven to be effective, even without AEs sometimes, and if you fail there doesn't appear to be any lasting damage unlike the method you've just switched to.

But, of course, I cannot tell you what to do. It is your CTB and your decision at the end of the day. I can only give you information and my thoughts, and you can make of it what you will.

Again, I do wish you well, whatever ends up happening.

 

[d3ad]

being in a coma isn't a guaranteed escape. you could still be conscious, hearing and thinking but unable to move, see, or speak. you could have a coma dream (which could either be good, or nightmarish). Comas are also not guaranteed to last forever, and once you come out of it you'll have brain damage (to what degree depends on how long your coma lasted. Some recover quickly, others it takes years).

In my opinion, this is not a very good plan. If it were me, I would still try to get my hands on SN, even if that requires me to sell some assets to get money. SN, even without antiemetics, would be a better option. it's been proven to be effective, even without AEs sometimes, and if you fail there doesn't appear to be any lasting damage unlike the method you've just switched to.

But, of course, I cannot tell you what to do. It is your CTB and your decision at the end of the day. I can only give you information and my thoughts, and you can make of it what you will.

Again, I do wish you well, whatever ends up happening.

Thank you so much for getting me back into my senses. I actually needed to hear that. The problem is I am going through hell, so I want to quickly escape these feelings. I will endure, just up until I can manage to purchase SN.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Thank you so much for getting me back into my senses. I actually needed to hear that. The problem is I am going through hell, so I want to quickly escape these feelings. I will endure, just up until I can manage to purchase SN.

I completely understand. But if it is at all possible to try and hold out, that would seem to be the best course of action given your options. I am glad to hear that you've changed your mind and that you're gonna give it a shot.

Oh, and if you ever have any issues that you want to speak about, this community is incredible and I'm sure you'd get more than enough ears and mouths to engage with you. You don't have to go-it entirely alone.

 

[fatladysings]

Thank you so much for getting me back into my senses. I actually needed to hear that. The problem is I am going through hell, so I want to quickly escape these feelings. I will endure, just up until I can manage to purchase SN.

I think you are wise to try to hang on until you have enough money to afford to buy, and pay for delivery of, SN. Like platoscavedweller said - could you sell something to raise a bit of extra cash? Ebay is a good place to start, it's easy to sell second hand goods on there (I have no affiliation with eBay and nobody is paying me to recommend them). Could you ask your bank manager to increase your overdraft limit? You sound like you are having a terrible time. I hope you find a way. Best wishes.

 

[d3ad]

I completely understand. But if it is at all possible to try and hold out, that would seem to be the best course of action given your options. I am glad to hear that you've changed your mind and that you're gonna give it a shot.

Oh, and if you ever have any issues that you want to speak about, this community is incredible and I'm sure you'd get more than enough ears and mouths to engage with you. You don't have to go-it entirely alone.

Thank you so much. I am happy to hear that I'm not so alone after all. I will try to find ways to cope while waiting for my SN purchase.

I think you are wise to try to hang on until you have enough money to afford to buy, and pay for delivery of, SN. Like platoscavedweller said - could you sell something to raise a bit of extra cash? Ebay is a good place to start, it's easy to sell second hand goods on there (I have no affiliation with eBay and nobody is paying me to recommend them). Could you ask your bank manager to increase your overdraft limit? You sound like you are having a terrible time. I hope you find a way. Best wishes.

Thank you for the advice. I will definitely try to find a way to raise money. Either that, or I'll wait for the following month to get some money. I am really really going through hell, and every second that passes is just torture. I want to be gone, completely forever.

 

[rozeske]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain but I'm glad to see you decided to reconsider. No one deserves to end up in a worse condition trying to escape their pain. I hope you find peace whatever that means to you

 

[d3ad]

I'm sorry you are in so much pain but I'm glad to see you decided to reconsider. No one deserves to end up in a worse condition trying to escape their pain. I hope you find peace whatever that means to you

Thank you so much. ❤