rat.girl

rat.girl

Member
Apr 3, 2020
18
I have ordered my SN, should be here in the next week or 2. I am not able to get an antiemetic but I will have tums and will make some extra SN in case I vomit. But here is my dilemma: Ideally i would ctb in the comfort of my room. However, 6 months or so ago, when I was talking to my roommate about my long-winded struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and she said "all I ask is that if you kill yourself, don't do it at the house." (not really something you should be saying to a suicidal person but oh well, I respect and understand it). I could just do it an my room anyways, and set a timed text to someone asking them to send the police to my house in the morning so that my roommate won't be the first one to see my body. But that makes me feel selfish for not respecting her wishes. I live in Phoenix, AZ so there aren't any forests or secluded areas to go to. I don't want to go to a park or something because I'm afraid of being found. So does anyone have any suggestions on places i can go to do it?
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Well, it may not just be that she does or doesn't find you, but the memory will still be there. Don't know the whole story about the conversation or your relationship, so I don't have a clear perspective on either of you. I could be off about her stance.

Anyhow, hotel not possible? Renting a car? Roof of the building where you live? Piestewa Peak or another mountain? Gila River? Though I don't like the idea of doing it outdoors in a publicly accessible space, not only for being interrupted, but potentially victimized when unable to defend yourself. I remember Papago Park had those holes in the rocks (not just the big hole but smaller ones), but that was decades ago and I don't know if it's dodgy there now, or if it's regularly patrolled.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
I have ordered my SN, should be here in the next week or 2. I am not able to get an antiemetic but I will have tums and will make some extra SN in case I vomit. But here is my dilemma: Ideally i would ctb in the comfort of my room. However, 6 months or so ago, when I was talking to my roommate about my long-winded struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and she said "all I ask is that if you kill yourself, don't do it at the house." (not really something you should be saying to a suicidal person but oh well, I respect and understand it). I could just do it an my room anyways, and set a timed text to someone asking them to send the police to my house in the morning so that my roommate won't be the first one to see my body. But that makes me feel selfish for not respecting her wishes. I live in Phoenix, AZ so there aren't any forests or secluded areas to go to. I don't want to go to a park or something because I'm afraid of being found. So does anyone have any suggestions on places i can go to do it?
Is there any abandoned places? That's all I can think of, I don't live in Arizona sadly but I'm just here to wish you luck on your journey, much love :heart:
 
rat.girl

rat.girl

Member
Apr 3, 2020
18
Is there any abandoned places? That's all I can think of, I don't live in Arizona sadly but I'm just here to wish you luck on your journey, much love :heart:
I'm not sure actually. I have lived here since september but only leave the house to go to work so I'm not really sure whats around. Thanks for the tip though, I'll do some research
 
Overnoutofhere

Overnoutofhere

Member
Mar 30, 2020
52
Hi, new to this,I am in PHX, I lost my husband 2 month's ago I want to CBT soon. PM me.
 
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bpdandme

Experienced
Feb 3, 2020
239
I hate that they said that to you, that's really unkind. People are just ignorant sometimes and don't understand the choice of their words. Sending light.
 
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