Discussion CTB in Response to newly acquired Orphan Status

[xyazyppgy]

Evening,

I have recently become an Orphan after my (single) mother passed due to cancer. We were incredibly close and I was lucky enough to have a "good mom". However, I have always dabbled in questions of morality and have attempted to CTB years ago. Following that failed attempt, I have gone through the motions of life and find myself in higher education where my extended family and peers believe I am "doing well".

I have been harboring the thoughts of CTB for quite some time - yet it was my Mother's celebration of life in which the pastor gleefully exclaimed "we will see her again" - referring to Heaven in the JudeoChristian sense. I have not prescribed to any religion, nor do I intent to bash or admonish anyone who does, but if his sentiment is true, all I feel is the more so reason to CTB, right?. Am I wrong in feeling this way? If I don't feel pleasure in my life in my new familial status so does that not de facto rule out not CTB? If I have a chance at a pleasurable existence where I can reconnect with the person most important to me then taking a chance to reconnect seems the most logical?

Wonder if anyone else has ever had similar circumstances or if dealt with similar thoughts or reasoning. New to SS so I did not have access to search. I apologize if this type of post has been redundant.

 

[HappyForever?]

No one knows what happens after you die. Maybe you get sent to heaven or hell. Maybe you are reincarnated, into this world or another. Maybe there is just eternal darkness. If you feel no joy in this life, CTBing is a rational choice. The possibility of meeting a loved one in the afterlife is just a bonus.

 

[SVEN]

First of all, I'm very sorry for your grief and loss. I'm no expert and don't wish to upset anyone with or without religious faith, however it seems to me that you touched on the heart of the matter when you said of the Minister, "if he's right". What if he's wrong and, as with most Christian churches I've heard of we get separated into different groups. Or something entirely different happens.
I'm certainly not trying to suggest what your course of action should be, just that ctb when you have no idea of the destination (beyond death) will be may not be the best reason to take such an irrevocable step. There's no coming back from it, as far as I know.
Best wishes whatever your decision.