CTB by Drowning plan

[ihateearth]

Please let me know if this sounds like a good plan and how to get over SI? It's really peaceful and I saw a white light that felt like divine love before a family friend pulled me out the pool. I'm not sure why so many here say it's painful. Medical studies don't back that up.

Time - night. Scope location during day. Carry flashlight or phone to walk to location at night and a knife

Place - park or place with a deep lake, creek, or river

Body - wear backpack with clothes and rocks inside tied around body to weigh myself down plus layer of clothes worn, but how can I weigh myself down further? I don't want my body to be found

Car - leave car at a store with keys in middle console or drivers seat then walk to water location OR leave car without keys and let it get impounded. It will eventually be auctioned off if impounded and I don't pick it up. Coppers won't think bad. They'll assume someone stole it or I left it there and impound cars every day to make money

Phone - Wipe phone, turn off, then toss in the water or break it and throw in random store trash?

People - I hope they don't come looking for me. Will an abandoned car make them search? I'll tell people that I moved. If I don't pay my phone bill it will be disconnected in November. No one cares anyways so I won't be contacted much to cause alarm by the time it's off. The car is a red flag though

Peace and CNS calming - I want to be relaxed. Should I have a few drinks before entering the water? I plan to bring a teddy bear with me for nostalgia. I can't get Xanax. Looking for where to buy whippets. How to calm the body before entering? Any tips for SI?

Since it's night I know the water will be cold. I hope fish and animals leave me alone during this. I want to be as comfortable as possible. I have to get out of here. I've been here too long and taken too much.

 

[Redacted24]

For the car, maybe if you pull the road somewhere and let it run until the tank's dry when it's found out would appear you were driving and ran out. They will certainly trace the car to you and try to find you, regardless.

 

[ihateearth]

Maybe I can park it in a parking garage and take an Uber closer to the water location. The car will be towed from the parking garage and impounded without them thinking to search for me.

They don't search for the owners of impounded cars. The owner of the impound will let late fees rack up until they confiscate the car and auction it off for someone to sell it. That's what they say on signs at their businesses. There's no incentive for them to contact people.

I'm abandoning the backpack idea. That could end up being a floatation device. I read it takes 2 to 5 days for a drowned body to surface depending on gases and processes. The mafia used concrete shoes, heavy chains, and weights to hold bodies under water but I don't have that.

Guess I'd have to accept being found face down in the water and scaring a random jogger. I don't want to scare people. It would be nice to not be found. It sucks there's no way to get rid of your body or hide it.