owano
just a little guy
- Oct 18, 2023
- 13
A few years ago during thanksgiving break I tried to CTB via OD. Of course, as you can see, that failed. It's always a little surreal this time of year because time just goes… it's another year of this bullshit where nothing really matters, and to be honest, I'm jealous of my past self that was able to do it. It still failed, but considering how sick I got (literally bed ridden for a week bc I'd vomit every time I moved, the tinnitus and distorted hearing that stayed for weeks, the initial heaviness feeling I had - sort of like walking out of water - the day after the attempt) it was pretty solid. It's just so frustrating because I feel like I'll never get a solid attempt again. The SI always fucks shit up for me. I also don't think I'd be able to swallow enough pills again if I tried to give ODing another go, which sucks because it's a method that doesn't trigger my SI as bad as other, especially more gruesome, methods. I wish ODing was more reliable… everything is just so frustrating.