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Praestat_Mori
Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
- May 21, 2023
- 10,960
How nice would it be to just CTB or to fall into eternal sleep but in the same time there's a thought - the thought of missing out the rest of my life.
I'm suicidal because I *don't* want to live out a full life. I want to escape adulthood and the future by dying young. I don't understand why people are sad about missing out on the rest of their life. I never saw anything positive about adulthood, middle or old age. I think that the sad truth of this world is that things just get worse with time. Everything decaysIt's easy to think about all the things left accomplished without thinking of all the stress and mental anguish that inevitably comes with it. This thought crossed my mind in my suicidal 20s and 30s. Now that I'm 44, I'm left wondering who the fck was I kidding? It never got better. I didn't accomplish anything. I'm foolish for thinking I would.
I never really had any kind of urgeto keep living. I always wanted to CTB from the moment I learned about the concept of it. The only thing that forced me to keep going was not wanting to cause destruction to my family. Looking back, I should have been more selfish. But now that I am much older, I feel like I have paid my dues and suffered for the sake of not hurting them long enough.I'm suicidal because I *don't* want to live out a full life. I want to escape adulthood and the future by dying young. I don't understand why people are sad about missing out on the rest of their life. I never saw anything positive about adulthood, middle or old age. I think that the sad truth of this world is that things just get worse with time. Everything decays
From a perspective of someone that struggles with this thought- it mostly comes from a place of longing and probably internal loneliness to some degree.I'm suicidal because I *don't* want to live out a full life. I want to escape adulthood and the future by dying young. I don't understand why people are sad about missing out on the rest of their life. I never saw anything positive about adulthood, middle or old age. I think that the sad truth of this world is that things just get worse with time. Everything decays
This is a logical answer; however, people are invested in their actual life, and not in a hypothetical life they could have had if they had been born in the 18th century.FOMO generally holds people back more than it helps, suicidal or not. Earth was around 4.6 billions years before you were born and will be around long after your dead, so either way you missed/will miss out on a ton.
Absolutely. I would say though that becoming comfortable and connected with non-existence is a proven technique used in many philosophies to deal with these feelings.This is a logical answer; however, people are invested in their actual life, and not in a hypothetical life they could have had if they had been born in the 18th century.
I agree! I think that deprivationism makes little sense, though I'm agnostic about nonexistence being what happens after death because of credible veridical NDE reports, the philosophical problems with materialism/physicalism, the hard problem of consciousness and the explanatory gap, and personal identity potentially being open.Absolutely. I would say though that becoming comfortable and connected with non-existence is a proven technique used in many philosophies to deal with these feelings.
100%, we have relatively such a tiny understanding philosophy of mind or the universe period. I'm sure we'll continue to make increasingly larger jumps in technology and science, but what we may discover in cognitive science and metaphysics is most exciting to me.I agree! I think that deprivationism makes little sense, though I'm agnostic about nonexistence being what happens after death because of credible veridical NDE reports, the philosophical problems with materialism/physicalism, the hard problem of consciousness and the explanatory gap, and personal identity potentially being open.
No one will be there to experience that feeling of missingHow nice would it be to just CTB or to fall into eternal sleep but in the same time there's a thought - the thought of missing out the rest of my life.
Indeed. It regularly causes me a fair amount of distress because I really, really want the physicalists and closed/empty individualists (I consider myself an empty individualist) to be right so that I don't have to suffer any more of this, and so that no one does. More than anything, I want it to be lights out. I view it as cutting one's losses. If I could, I'd eliminate the entire range of possibilities of postmortem survival because of all the horror it contains.100%, we have relatively such a tiny understanding philosophy of mind or the universe period. I'm sure we'll continue to make increasingly larger jumps in technology and science, but what we may discover in cognitive science and metaphysics is most exciting to me.
Love it, I'm an empty individualist as well. Personally, I've never seen any evidence or convincing argument that leads to a possibility of any postmortem survival so I have complete certainty your consciousness will cease in every form but feel free to haunt me if I'm wrong.Indeed. It regularly causes me a fair amount of distress because I really, really want the physicalists and closed/empty individualists (I consider myself an empty individualist) to be right so that I don't have to suffer any more of this, and so that no one does. More than anything, I want it to be lights out. I view it as cutting one's losses. If I could, I'd eliminate the entire range of possibilities of postmortem survival because of all the horror it contains.
That's very interesting, for me it was the opposite and I had to go through stages of anhedonia to feel committed to my plans to ctb (still here obviously due to other factors).Are you frustrated with how anhedonia undermines suicide acceptance?
I've finally accepted my illness and troubling thoughts, but I no longer have the will or energy to say goodbye to myself and rest in peace.
Has anyone overcome anhedonia? How long does it take?
Any arguments in favor do not exactly convince me of it. It's more so that I'm afraid of the possibility. There are definite issues with physicalism or at least materialism. I'm not sure if I'm convinced by attempts to explain away the explanatory gap by referencing the identities of non-phenomenal things that we do not question, like that of H2O, for example. That's the only somewhat reasonable argument I've heard. Dennettian-style eliminative materialism strikes me as downright absurd. Maybe David Pearce's nonmaterialist physicalism (https://www.physicalism.com/) is right, idk. I do of course think empty individualism is more plausible than open individualism, but OI is not incoherent afaict. It may be the correct model. And like I said, veridical NDEs do give me pause, though I don't think they are necessarily proof of dualism.Love it, I'm an empty individualist as well. Personally, I've never seen any evidence or convincing argument that leads to a possibility of any postmortem survival so I have complete certainty your consciousness will cease in every form but feel free to haunt me if I'm wrong.
I would say that old age is not always just pain and suffering, it depends on ones general health. I'm not that old yet - still some decades to go to reach really old age. I mean 8x and 9x yo. If not for my "materialistic problem" I also have hope that I could be lucky in this high age.i thought you were younger? but yes. old age is just pain. especially if you did not take care of yourself. i know what i am experiencing now is my own fault. i wish you better days than mine.
There's days I am so certain that I will CTB when I have everything and other days I feel like I have to hold on. Because there's a lot more to come.How nice would it be to just CTB or to fall into eternal sleep but in the same time there's a thought - the thought of missing out the rest of my life.
That is true. But death is also inevitable whether sooner or later - on very big time scales even stars are dying and the universe itself is gonna die. From this point of view death can't be sth bad at all.Death is forever, it's permanent.
There will always be more time to make that decision. But once you made it , there is no going back.
Exactly. Death will happen at some point in your life. That could be a relief. It will happen against or with your will.That is true. But death is also inevitable whether sooner or later - on very big time scales even stars are dying and the universe itself is gonna die. From this point of view death can't be sth bad at all.
I definitely agree we have much to learn regarding physicalism, even though it's what I lean towards. The explanatory gap and the problem of empirical and conceptual truths is fascinating, I'm not sure we'll ever understand consciousness which seems like a cosmic joke given how core it is to our self identity as an evolved sentient species.Any arguments in favor do not exactly convince me of it. It's more so that I'm afraid of the possibility. There are definite issues with physicalism or at least materialism. I'm not sure if I'm convinced by attempts to explain away the explanatory gap by referencing the identities of non-phenomenal things that we do not question, like that of H2O, for example. That's the only somewhat reasonable argument I've heard. Dennettian-style eliminative materialism strikes me as downright absurd. Maybe David Pearce's nonmaterialist physicalism (https://www.physicalism.com/) is right, idk. I do of course think empty individualism is more plausible than open individualism, but OI is not incoherent afaict. It may be the correct model. And like I said, veridical NDEs do give me pause, though I don't think they are necessarily proof of dualism.