Venting “Cry for help”

[15dec]

I absolutely hate when people say suicide attempts are 'cries for help' or 'attention seeking'. My parents told the mental health worker who assessed me a few weeks ago that the hospital staff treating me after one of my attempts said it was only a cry for help. I don't get what people are trying to prove by minimising someone's attempt to end their own life and acting like it's nothing serious. My intention was to die, still is and will be until I finally do. But nobody's going to accept that, and even if I do ctb successfully someone is going to be there saying I didn't actually want to die and that I just wanted attention or someone to help me.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Yeah. I have no idea why people do that but its bullsh*t. Like if the suicide is successful, there is no point in it being attention seeking or a cry for help if the person a dead.

I'm sorry for what you have gone through though. Hugs. If you want to talk, just message me.

 

[15dec]

Yeah. I have no idea why people do that but its bullsh*t. Like if the suicide is successful, there is no point in it being attention seeking or a cry for help if the person a dead.

I'm sorry for what you have gone through though. Hugs. If you want to talk, just message me.

You still always end up with the people trying to say someone didn't actually want to die when they ctb and it sucks. After my cousin ctb everyone said it was because one thing was said to her, even at the inquest, and refused to accept the possibiiity she was feeling depressed because she didn't go to the doctors or cut herself. People don't kill themselves after one bad thing happens but that's what everyone seems to want to believe

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Yeah, I agree, I think they either don't look at past events or don't want to believe that the person didn't want to take their own life because they had a 'good' life and kind of live in denial and want to blame someone else.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

Unfortunatly some people do not intend to die but just dont knkw how to ask for help and are stuck. When i was on the ward a patient was in her room after the hourly check, placed a plastic bag on her head and walked out her room with it on into the corridor where a staff member is always sat and the patient opposite was on 1-2-1. Had she have stayed in her room she wohld not have been checked for an hour. Some ither patients cut themselves then pressed the alarm in their room again alerting staff. Not all suicidal people want to die its nit as clear cut as that and those who do and unfortunatly fail are lumped in with them because lets face it there are so many ways to die but with the survival instinct stopping us is that there because unbeknown to us we dont 100% want to or just arnt ready to.

Its a tough one, they are your parents and they think they know you 100% but they arnt in your mind so projecting their own lack of understanding and want for life onto you because they just dont know your mind and heart 100%, noone ever will bevause they arnt you

 

[15dec]

Unfortunatly some people do not intend to die but just dont knkw how to ask for help and are stuck. When i was on the ward a patient was in her room after the hourly check, placed a plastic bag on her head and walked out her room with it on into the corridor where a staff member is always sat and the patient opposite was on 1-2-1. Had she have stayed in her room she wohld not have been checked for an hour. Some ither patients cut themselves then pressed the alarm in their room again alerting staff. Not all suicidal people want to die its nit as clear cut as that and those who do and unfortunatly fail are lumped in with them because lets face it there are so many ways to die but with the survival instinct stopping us is that there because unbeknown to us we dont 100% want to or just arnt ready to.

Its a tough one, they are your parents and they think they know you 100% but they arnt in your mind so projecting their own lack of understanding and want for life onto you because they just dont know your mind and heart 100%, noone ever will bevause they arnt you

I know where you're coming from with some people being suicidal but not wanting to die, my main issue is that I've said several times that I don't want to be alive anymore, that my attempts weren't just cries for help, etc, but it's just not taken seriously. I think that because I've asked for help they think it's not that serious and just assume that if I was actually suicidal I wouldn't have bothered

 

[Koal]

For me, a suicide attempt is the opposite of a cry for help or to seek attention, instead being a cry of "just ignore me, forget about me, let me die and then pretend I never existed"

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

in some cases it is though


you cant generalise it

 

[15dec]

in some cases it is though


you cant generalise it

Yeah I know, it's just that people don't take me seriously when I've tried explaining that I'm not crying for help and genuinely wanted to die when I attempted before. It's just frustrating really

 

[Xerxes]

I hate that shit so much. Cry for help? Seriously, that tells me that the person really wanted us to succeed, I'm sorry we're not smart enough or thinking rationally to end ourselves. I can't trust people when I share my deepest thoughts and emotions to them when they assume something like this.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I think in cases like OP's it's an unfortunate combination of circumstances. We have a high percentage of teenage girls on here, and this demographic is not exactly known for its consistency and clarity of thought. I don't mean any disrespect, it's just how it's often viewed from the outside.

Women are also more likely to have a failed ctb attempt, statistically speaking. I think this is often due to using non traumatic methods, which while I can absolutely see the appeal, are notoriously less successful than methods like a shotgun blast to the brain, for instance.

When things like this combine, they work to undermine credibility when it comes to ctb attempts. Personally I think it's stupid - anyone considering this should be taken seriously, but we're just not that far as a society yet.

Hope you feel better soon, OP. Or at least feel like you're being listened to.

 

[15dec]

I hate that shit so much. Cry for help? Seriously, that tells me that the person really wanted us to succeed, I'm sorry we're not smart enough or thinking rationally to end ourselves. I can't trust people when I share my deepest thoughts and emotions to them when they assume something like this.

Most people seem to think ctb is easy and that if you fail it's because you wanted to do you can get attention. In one of my recent assessments they seemed to pick apart everything I told them to make it seem like I wasn't really depressed/suicidal and downplayed everything I told them, the last one was better but when my parents said the nurses told them one of my attempts was a cry for help I got the impression she was starting to doubt I was serious as well. It sucks, how do they expect anyone with a mental illness to get better when half the professionals they contact seem to want to prove there's nothing wrong with them?

 

[Xerxes]

Cry for help is usually followed by them saying, "If you were serious, why are you still here?" I think it belies that we had second thoughts or we didn't think our plan through enough that we somehow survived. Still makes me feel like shit, because all the nurses involved give you sneers and shit like we're wasting hospital resources because we failed in killing ourselves.

 

[15dec]

I think in cases like OP's it's an unfortunate combination of circumstances. We have a high percentage of teenage girls on here, and this demographic is not exactly known for its consistency and clarity of thought. I don't mean any disrespect, it's just how it's often viewed from the outside.

Women are also more likely to have a failed ctb attempt, statistically speaking. I think this is often due to using non traumatic methods, which while I can absolutely see the appeal, are notoriously less successful than methods like a shotgun blast to the brain, for instance.

When things like this combine, they work to undermine credibility when it comes to ctb attempts. Personally I think it's stupid - anyone considering this should be taken seriously, but we're just not that far as a society yet.

Hope you feel better soon, OP. Or at least feel like you're being listened to.

I totally understand where you're coming from about the teenage girl thing, and the statistic thing is 100% correct. My first few attempts where when I was younger and pretty naive and thought drugs and alcohol would be enough to kill me and it seemed a lot less scary and easier than hanging, for example.

Honestly I just think people don't want to see it as something serious because it's easier to be like, "oh, she's just upset" and seem to cling to that mentality no matter what I say. I've tried to explain that I've had the same issues/thoughts for several years, that my attempts were researched/planned (albeit badly) and that I know how I would ctb everyone just gives me this impression that they're not taking me seriously, they just give me this look like they thing I'm being overdramatic and trying to get attention, which sucks. You're right though, anyone saying they feel suicidal should be taken seriously. Hopefully one day it will be.

And thank you, I definitely feel listened to here which is always a good thing :)

 

[15dec]

Cry for help is usually followed by them saying, "If you were serious, why are you still here?" I think it belies that we had second thoughts or we didn't think our plan through enough that we somehow survived. Still makes me feel like shit, because all the nurses involved give you sneers and shit like we're wasting hospital resources because we failed in killing ourselves.

The nurses dealing with me were nice, other than when they told my parents my attempt was just a cry for help, they certainly weren't as bad as other nurses I've heard about which I'm pretty thankful for. Sadly a lot of staff seem to have a bias against people who are suicidal/have failed attempts, I'd like to say it's mostly lack of understanding or being understaffed or something like that though, rather than being inherently mean, though some definitely are

 

[ReadyasEver]

It is ironic to say the least. People who take their lives without an altruistic reason are condemned to be selfish and shunned. People who die or give their life in the name of others are honored. The mental anguish, pain, and suffering get lost in translation in society.

 

[15dec]

It is ironic to say the least. People who take their lives without an altruistic reason are condemned to be selfish and shunned. People who die or give their life in the name of others are honored. The mental anguish, pain, and suffering get lost in translation in society.

Yeah, it seems like whatever you do when you're feeling suicidal is wrong/futile. I try and get help and I'm told I'm only upset, I try and ctb and it's for attention and there's still not a big enough issue. Though if I actually ctb everyone would wonder why I didn't try and get more help or still say I didn't actually mean to do it. I wish I could die doing something honourable or helping someone else, that way it's be two birds one stone

 

[Hunter]

Yeah, it seems like whatever you do when you're feeling suicidal is wrong/futile. I try and get help and I'm told I'm only upset, I try and ctb and it's for attention and there's still not a big enough issue. Though if I actually ctb everyone would wonder why I didn't try and get more help or still say I didn't actually mean to do it. I wish I could die doing something honourable or helping someone else, that way it's be two birds one stone

This is so true. No matter where you turn or what you've tried, there will always be someone who judges your efforts/intentions. Even here I've encountered the same. Honestly, once you accept that you won't be able to control over people's assumptions around your death, it's a big step closer to the resolution you need before you die.

 

[Nanako]

I can't say I relate. I don't get upset in the slightest by what others might think of my wanting to ctb, though that's probably because I'm not interested in treatment at all

 

[TiredHorse]

Okay, it's a cry for help. So why the hell aren't you listening!?

Whether or not any attempt is a "cry for help" is almost immaterial: the situation that person is in is obviously as catastrophically wrong as it possibly can be, and anything less than a determined, systemic, dedicated, all-hands-on-deck effort to respond to that "cry for help" is laziness, cowardice, cruelty, or all three.

 

[15dec]

Okay, it's a cry for help. So why the hell aren't you listening!?

Whether or not any attempt is a "cry for help" is almost immaterial: the situation that person is in is obviously as catastrophically wrong as it possibly can be, and anything less than a determined, systemic, dedicated, all-hands-on-deck effort to respond to that "cry for help" is laziness, cowardice, cruelty, or all three.

You're right, if someone's at the point they feel attempting to ctb is the only way to get help something needs to be done as soon as possible so they don't feel even more hopeless

 

[Xerxes]

I don't know where you're from, I hope the hospitals are slightly better than in the US. I cannot fail and I refuse to be admitted back into the hospital again. I rather suicide by cop than go back to the hospital. They held me against my will, used my wife as a pawn, and then told me how much I wasted hospital resources, when all they could've done was just stitch me up, let me pay, and then GTFO. But no, these twin skanks with their fancy clipboards and lab coats collectively decided I needed to be inpatient.

 

[TiredHorse]

But no, these twin skanks with their fancy clipboards and lab coats collectively decided I needed to be inpatient.

Lay the blame at the feet of the lawyers: the hospital could have been held liable had they just stitched you up and sent you along. I'm not saying what they did was right, but I do like to understand the root of the madness.

The only time you don't need to worry about a lawyer stealing the coins off the corpse's eyes is when he's too preoccupied by getting his fingers into the survivors' purse.

 

[15dec]

I don't know where you're from, I hope the hospitals are slightly better than in the US. I cannot fail and I refuse to be admitted back into the hospital again. I rather suicide by cop than go back to the hospital. They held me against my will, used my wife as a pawn, and then told me how much I wasted hospital resources, when all they could've done was just stitch me up, let me pay, and then GTFO. But no, these twin skanks with their fancy clipboards and lab coats collectively decided I needed to be inpatient.

I'm from England and it's definitely better than that, I'm sorry you had a terrible experience though. That's not right at all. Other than the cry for help comment every doctor/nurse/paramedic I've met has been lovely, it just seems to be some of the mental health workers who are out to belittle you and prove you're not suffering as much as you say

 

[Xerxes]

Lay the blame at the feet of the lawyers: the hospital could have been held liable had they just stitched you up and sent you along. I'm not saying what they did was right, but I do like to understand the root of the madness.

True, but the impulse to CTB was already gone and I told them that. I laid out why I couldn't go because of job, in the middle of buying a house, and a lot of things at stake. So they Baker Act'd me. I guess in the past they may have had let go of people, only for them to cause significant harm to themselves or others which resulted in lawsuits. So they just blanket all patients who harm themselves as being harmful to others and themselves without seeing each patient as an individual case.

 

[TAW122]

Oh absolutely. I hate it when people say this. While I don't ever talk about suicide (too dangerous of a topic to broach) IRL, I have read and seen many posts on threads on reddit as well as other forums around the Internet saying it's a cry for help. It's really insensitive, naive, and downright dismissive to the person receiving it.

To be fair, sure there are people who attempt suicide as a cry for help, but there is no excuse for people to treat every single case of suicide as a cry for help.

 

[15dec]

Oh absolutely. I hate it when people say this. While I don't ever talk about suicide (too dangerous of a topic to broach) IRL, I have read and seen many posts on threads on reddit as well as other forums around the Internet saying it's a cry for help. It's really insensitive, naive, and downright dismissive to the person receiving it.

To be fair, sure there are people who attempt suicide as a cry for help, but there is no excuse for people to treat every single case of suicide as a cry for help.

Yeah, you don't achieve anything by saying a suicide attempt was a cry for help, except making suicide survivors feel worse really. Like TiredHorse said, even if it was a cry for help they should still get help as soon as possible and not be brushed aside

 

[TiredHorse]

I guess in the past they may have had let go of people, only for them to cause significant harm to themselves or others which resulted in lawsuits. So they just blanket all patients who harm themselves as being harmful to others and themselves without seeing each patient as an individual case.

Yup. That covers it.

And, of course, they worry your family could sue them if you quickly went on to succeed. Because once you're dead, then they stop thinking it was "just a cry for help" and start casting about for how to ease their guilt with theraputic litigation.