21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Hello everyone. I hope you have some advice for me. I will try to keep it short.

I tried to hang myself last week. Before that, I sent my two 'closest' friends a text thanking them for being my friends. They responded with questionmarks and asked if they should be worried. That was last week.

I tend to isolate myself, however one of those friends has organized a party tomorrow. I have to go, it's for his birthday. I hate going there for many reasons, but what I need help with is their questions. I have no doubt in my mind that they'll ask me about it(me thanking them for being my friends and then not saying anything), and I have no clue what I should say to them.

They're not true friends I think, because I think they'd treat me differently or speak to me even less if I was honest with them about my struggles. So should I try to lie to them then? Or should I just give in to my social anxiety, and say I'm sick tomorrow? It's a party full of people who I don't like and who sometimes make jokes about me... I don't know what to do. Sorry for the unorganized rant I guess.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Hey, it's fine, no need to apologise.

Could you tell your friends you sent those messages because you just felt like thanking them for being there?
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Hey, it's fine, no need to apologise.

Could you tell your friends you sent those messages because you just felt like thanking them for being there?

That's a good idea, stupid of me to not think of that earlier. I will do that.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
That's a good idea, stupid of me to not think of that earlier. I will do that.
It's not stupid of you, if you're stressed it's easy to overlook things and panic. Hope things go well and you have a good time at the party ♡
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
Hi, if you don't think it's going to be an enjoyable place to be going to to the party then I would give it a miss. Do you know if there is going to be anyone going that you do know well and get on with? If I have to go to some event I don't want to then I try and find out if there is anyone I particularly know or like going and arrange to go together - then at least I don't feel like I'm walking in alone.

As for your friends, you could be honest and say you were feeling down but you're not anymore or say you were drunk and texting nonsense?

Xx
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Do you know if there is going to be anyone going that you do know well and get on with?
Well yes, the other 'close' friend. We're going there together, but problem is that he does have a lot of friends there. He is just such a better person than me. So he'll be talking to a lot of people whereas I'll be quitly doing... whatever i dont know.
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
It's not stupid of you, if you're stressed it's easy to overlook things and panic. Hope things go well and you have a good time at the party ♡

I'm honestly still debating whether or not to say I'm sick lol... they wouldn't believe me. I don't want to hurt him.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
I'm honestly still debating whether or not to say I'm sick lol... they wouldn't believe me. I don't want to hurt him.
If you think it's better to stay home then I think you should, you've gotta look after yourself too. Like @JustAboutDone said if you don't think you'll have fun then you don't have to go
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
If you think it's better to stay home then I think you should, you've gotta look after yourself too. Like @JustAboutDone said if you don't think you'll have fun then you don't have to go

I just need to come up with a different excuse than 'I'm sick' because they'll know its bullshit and I don't want to hurt our friendship... they're the last two friends I've got.
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
I just need to come up with a different excuse than 'I'm sick' because they'll know its bullshit and I don't want to hurt our friendship... they're the last two friends I've got.

It's a really tricky situation, I know how it can feel to really not want to go to a social gathering but not want to hurt people - or end up feeling even more isolated.

So let's decide that you'll go.
So you have someone to go with so that's good, and at the party they will be busy socially and you feel you'll be uncomfortable.
What can you do to make you feel more at ease there? I know SH helps you, what about drink? Or do you smoke? How can it be made into a thing you can be ok with?

What does everyone else here do at parties and things when they feel uncomfortable?
 
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Memento Mori

Memento Mori

shambling garbage
Jan 24, 2019
573
Or should I just give in to my social anxiety, and say I'm sick tomorrow?

If this is an option then do it, your friend will understand. ur going to explain him something or nothing at all?
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
I just need to come up with a different excuse than 'I'm sick' because they'll know its bullshit and I don't want to hurt our friendship... they're the last two friends I've got.
Is it possible you can be honest with them about feeling anxious to go?
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
Is it possible you can be honest with them about feeling anxious to go?

I've been a little bit honest with them about my anxiety in the past, but they just brush it aside. They don't understand how large of an issue this is for me.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
Maybe just say you were feeling tipsy and sentimental?
 
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