Couple Questions

[galaticgrizzly]

1. I have a lot of letters to write. Should I handwrite or type them?
2. I want to die in the hospital because I've been there a lot before and it is my safe space. The people are much kinder and my parents won't be around. I know for myself that this isn't attention seeking, but do you think other people will think otherwise?

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Just gonna throw this in there, you could always do a video instead of writing letters

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Just gonna throw this in there, you could always do a video instead of writing letters

Hmm, I never thought of that idea. I feel like my parents would hear me talking about it, if I end up in the hospital I probably won't be able to talk.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry you're contemplating such things, @galaticgrizzly, but if it's any help I reckon I'd hand write the letters to people I feel close to and do the rest on computer.

As for dying in the hospital ... I'm not sure I understand. Are you thinking of getting admitted to the hospital and attempting suicide while you're there? I wouldn't expect that to work out; you'll be found and resuscitated.

But maybe I've misunderstood you.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

I'm sorry you're contemplating such things, @galaticgrizzly, but if it's any help I reckon I'd hand write the letters to people I feel close to and do the rest on computer.

As for dying in the hospital ... I'm not sure I understand. Are you thinking of getting admitted to the hospital and attempting suicide while you're there? I wouldn't expect that to work out; you'll be found and resuscitated.

But maybe I've misunderstood you.

If it all goes to plan, I will attempt with an injection before the hospital. This will lead to septic shock, and by the time I get to the hospital, they won't be able to save me

 

[Ghost2211]

If it all goes to plan, I will attempt with an injection before the hospital. This will lead to septic shock, and by the time I get to the hospital, they won't be able to save me

Careful with sepsis. Some people do survive and just end up with organ damage. It will make you feel like literal hell too.

 

[MysticPerception]

Typing is a lot easier to write and the letters are less likely to be lost that way due to easy copying. Though handwritten is a little more special in my opinion I'd say go with whichever doesn't hurt your hands as much. As for the hospital thing like you mentioned in the post right above mine that's a very scary gamble in my opinion. The idea of it being too late would be tough to pull off I think. Unless you go completely brain dead then they'll just pull the plug obviously.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Careful with sepsis. Some people do survive and just end up with organ damage. It will make you feel like literal hell too.

I know. It's a risk I'm willing to take

Typing is a lot easier to write and the letters are less likely to be lost that way due to easy copying. Though handwritten is a little more special in my opinion I'd say go with whichever doesn't hurt your hands as much. As for the hospital thing like you mentioned in the post right above mine that's a very scary gamble in my opinion. The idea of it being too late would be tough to pull off I think. Unless you go completely brain dead then they'll just pull the plug obviously.

We'll see what happens. Septic shock has a very high mortality rate, I've done my research

 

[Heady_Cerebrum]

I'd strongly recommend you reconsider your method of deliverance. Sepsis is not a peaceful or painfree way to go. If it does kill you it could take longer than a few days or even a few weeks. This is especially true if doctors are trying to save you. Injecting dirty crap will also cause painful swelling and possible open wounds. Depending on the bacteria it could be manageable for the medical staff or it could be horrid and messy. You could lose a limb, require skin grafting, cause damage to your organs. I know that this probably doesn't matter to you if you think you'll be dead, but there's a good chance you won't die. The doctors could very likely save you and then you'd have to deal with the consequences of your method.

It won't be fast, it won't be pain free, you probably won't die and as such will have to deal with all sorts of damage. You will probably make your current situation much worse.

I really strongly advise you to reconsider.
Further, you're assuming you'll end up with sepsis. You may not, or you may not until after having dealt with bacterial infection outside of your blood stream.

What will you do if you end up worse off than you are? What if you survive and get admitted to a psychiatric hospital? What if you're left unable to care for yourself? What if you're left unable to kill yourself? That's a big one to consider. You may of yourself in a position where you are alive, but don't want to be but can't do anything about it due to complications from your attempt.

 

[Time]

I originally planned to just send delayed emails to my loved ones but some people have mentioned how therapeutic (having sentimental value?) a hand-written note can be so I'm thinking about doing both.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

I'd strongly recommend you reconsider your method of deliverance. Sepsis is not a peaceful or painfree way to go. If it does kill you it could take longer than a few days or even a few weeks. This is especially true if doctors are trying to save you. Injecting dirty crap will also cause painful swelling and possible open wounds. Depending on the bacteria it could be manageable for the medical staff or it could be horrid and messy. You could lose a limb, require skin grafting, cause damage to your organs. I know that this probably doesn't matter to you if you think you'll be dead, but there's a good chance you won't die. The doctors could very likely save you and then you'd have to deal with the consequences of your method.

It won't be fast, it won't be pain free, you probably won't die and as such will have to deal with all sorts of damage. You will probably make your current situation much worse.

I really strongly advise you to reconsider.
Further, you're assuming you'll end up with sepsis. You may not, or you may not until after having dealt with bacterial infection outside of your blood stream.

What will you do if you end up worse off than you are? What if you survive and get admitted to a psychiatric hospital? What if you're left unable to care for yourself? What if you're left unable to kill yourself? That's a big one to consider. You may of yourself in a position where you are alive, but don't want to be but can't do anything about it due to complications from your attempt.

1. I don't deserve a peaceful painfree way
2. I'm doing it on my chest so there is no amputation.
3. 50 ml will produce a severe infection. If it doesn't lead to sepsis, i'll just keep injecting until it does
4. I've been in a psych ward, it's not that bad.

I originally planned to just send delayed emails to my loved ones but some people have mentioned how therapeutic (having sentimental value?) a hand-written note can be so I'm thinking about doing both.

good to know

 

[Heady_Cerebrum]

1. I don't deserve a peaceful painfree way
2. I'm doing it on my chest so there is no amputation.
3. 50 ml will produce a severe infection. If it doesn't lead to sepsis, i'll just keep injecting until it does
4. I've been in a psych ward, it's not that bad.

good to know

1. I don't think you deserve to die painfully. I don't believe anyone deserves a painful death. I also believe that people are redeemable and that everyone has value. I know these are just words from a stranger, but please know I'm replying out of care and concern. I'm sure others are as well.

2. Chunks can be cut out of your chest. Ribs can be removed if needed. It can spread without being septic and will spread when septic. Again, you could get right up to deaths door with tonnes of complications and still be saved, but maybe severely maimed.

3. In this hypothetical you will likely get sick enough to end up in hospital before you even get to sepsis. I'm not talking you going willfully to the hospital, I'm talking someone calling an ambulance because you've collapsed from fever and the infection.

4. No, I'd agree that they aren't horrible. My fear is the loss of freedom for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how doctors would react to someone injecting dirty water, but I can't see them turning a blind eye to it or treating it like it isn't a sign of significant mental illness.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

1. I don't think you deserve to die painfully. I don't believe anyone deserves a painful death. I also believe that people are redeemable and that everyone has value. I know these are just words from a stranger, but please know I'm replying out of care and concern. I'm sure others are as well.

2. Chunks can be cut out of your chest. Ribs can be removed if needed. It can spread without being septic and will spread when septic. Again, you could get right up to deaths door with tonnes of complications and still be saved, but maybe severely maimed.

3. In this hypothetical you will likely get sick enough to end up in hospital before you even get to sepsis. I'm not talking you going willfully to the hospital, I'm talking someone calling an ambulance because you've collapsed from fever and the infection.

4. No, I'd agree that they aren't horrible. My fear is the loss of freedom for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how doctors would react to someone injecting dirty water, but I can't see them turning a blind eye to it or treating it like it isn't a sign of significant mental illness.

I guess we'll see what happens

 

[Time]

1. I don't think you deserve to die painfully. I don't believe anyone deserves a painful death. I also believe that people are redeemable and that everyone has value. I know these are just words from a stranger, but please know I'm replying out of care and concern. I'm sure others are as well.

2. Chunks can be cut out of your chest. Ribs can be removed if needed. It can spread without being septic and will spread when septic. Again, you could get right up to deaths door with tonnes of complications and still be saved, but maybe severely maimed.

3. In this hypothetical you will likely get sick enough to end up in hospital before you even get to sepsis. I'm not talking you going willfully to the hospital, I'm talking someone calling an ambulance because you've collapsed from fever and the infection.

4. No, I'd agree that they aren't horrible. My fear is the loss of freedom for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how doctors would react to someone injecting dirty water, but I can't see them turning a blind eye to it or treating it like it isn't a sign of significant mental illness.

I certainly appreciate what you're trying to do but this has been covered/discussed at length in a prior thread.

She seems to be dead set on her method...

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/will-this-work.30622/