Couldn't get it to work

[Forveleth]

I've been practicing for full suspension for a couple months and would usually get to the point where my arms couldn't hold the rope anymore because I was on the verge of passing out. Today was going to be my day. I left notes, I had texts scheduled, I even put a note on the door for whoever would find me, and I couldn't get it to work. My plan was to put weight on the rope and once I started to feel dizzy, kick the stool out from under myself. But every time I tried, I would just cut off my jugulars and feel my head throb. I have been added on and off for two and a half hours, trying different angles, trying to put socks in to hit my carotids, and taking breaks when I kept getting tired from standing and frustrated from it not working. I really thought I had it and today was going to be the day (I even have a goodbye thread scheduled ).

Alas my window of opportunity has passed. Someone will be home soon so I'm going to have to call my attempts for today. I'm going to go take a long hot shower and spend the rest of the day moping.

 

[KillingPain267]

My brain is so damaged from betrayal, trauma, depression and anxiety that I can barely concentrate on researching let alone testing.

 

[pocket7]

I was considering partial, but can't find a place to do it at home. Also I've read many people struggle to pass out. That's why I want to try SN method.

 

[Ash]

I've been practicing for full suspension for a couple months and would usually get to the point where my arms couldn't hold the rope anymore because I was on the verge of passing out. Today was going to be my day. I left notes, I had texts scheduled, I even put a note on the door for whoever would find me, and I couldn't get it to work. My plan was to put weight on the rope and once I started to feel dizzy, kick the stool out from under myself. But every time I tried, I would just cut off my jugulars and feel my head throb. I have been added on and off for two and a half hours, trying different angles, trying to put socks in to hit my carotids, and taking breaks when I kept getting tired from standing and frustrated from it not working. I really thought I had it and today was going to be the day (I even have a goodbye thread scheduled ).

Alas my window of opportunity has passed. Someone will be home soon so I'm going to have to call my attempts for today. I'm going to go take a long hot shower and spend the rest of the day moping.

You're one of my favourites on here so for your sake, I'm sorry you're going through this as I've been there and it's horrible. From a selfish perspective, I'm glad you're still here so I can tell you off for thinking you can get away with saying goodbye with a scheduled post. But seriously, I really am sorry you're in this situation x

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so cruel and dreadful how it's so unnecessarily difficult to die, I'm sorry that you have to suffer like that, people really shouldn't have to struggle so much to leave this existence. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.

 

[keg-ireland]

I've been practicing for full suspension for a couple months and would usually get to the point where my arms couldn't hold the rope anymore because I was on the verge of passing out. Today was going to be my day. I left notes, I had texts scheduled, I even put a note on the door for whoever would find me, and I couldn't get it to work. My plan was to put weight on the rope and once I started to feel dizzy, kick the stool out from under myself. But every time I tried, I would just cut off my jugulars and feel my head throb. I have been added on and off for two and a half hours, trying different angles, trying to put socks in to hit my carotids, and taking breaks when I kept getting tired from standing and frustrated from it not working. I really thought I had it and today was going to be the day (I even have a goodbye thread scheduled ).

Alas my window of opportunity has passed. Someone will be home soon so I'm going to have to call my attempts for today. I'm going to go take a long hot shower and spend the rest of the day moping.

I'm confused. How did you fail full suspension? I've never heard of anyone failing fsh unless the rope broke. What went wrong?

 

[Worndown]

A terrible thing. Did you have a noose that tightened fully? Once your weight us on it, you should pass out in under 10 seconds. Often sooner!
Holding the rope does enhance your chance if escape and reduces pressure in all your arteries. That could be a problem.
All methods require commitment. You really cannot ease into them. They are Go-No Go situations.

 

[Forveleth]

I'm confused. How did you fail full suspension? I've never heard of anyone failing fsh unless the rope broke. What went wrong?

A terrible thing. Did you have a noose that tightened fully? Once your weight us on it, you should pass out in under 10 seconds. Often sooner!
Holding the rope does enhance your chance if escape and reduces pressure in all your arteries. That could be a problem.
All methods require commitment.

My plan was to put weight on the rope to see if I had the right angle to hit my carotids and then step off once that was confirmed. I did it this way to avoid any potential SI triggered by hitting only my jugulars or my trachea. However, I never got that correct angle so I never took the step.

You really cannot ease into them. They are Go-No Go situations.

Yeah, I think this was my problem is that I was trying to ease into it. I really just need to step off and go.

 

[keg-ireland]

My plan was to put weight on the rope to see if I had the right angle to hit my carotids and then step off once that was confirmed. I did it this way to avoid any potential SI triggered by hitting only my jugulars or my trachea. However, I never got that correct angle so I never took the step.

Yeah, I think this was my problem is that I was trying to ease into it. I really just need to step off and go.

Totally understand. I've had 2 failed attempts- both were fear and inability due to SI to kick the chair away. Overcoming SI is extremely hard.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Don't feel bad.

 

[ishbrain]

I'm in the same situation today, I'm sorry this is so hard and I hope you find peace

 

[Forveleth]

Bit of an update. I have been really out of it the rest of the day as I wasn't expecting to still be alive. I feel like those people who glitch out of bounds in a video game. Everything is weird and floaty and reality feels far away. Really weird to experience.

Thanks for all of the nice words everyone. Honestly doing more for my mental health than a stupid psych hold.

 

[LaughingGoat]

My plan was to put weight on the rope to see if I had the right angle to hit my carotids and then step off once that was confirmed. I did it this way to avoid any potential SI triggered by hitting only my jugulars or my trachea. However, I never got that correct angle so I never took the step.

Yeah, I think this was my problem is that I was trying to ease into it. I really just need to step off and go.

Additionally, you can look into full-drop where the goal is instant death or unconsciousness rather than being strangled while your body resists.

 

[Ash]

Hope you're feeling a bit more grounded today. That disconnected feeling isn't much fun xx

 

[rozeske]

I hope you are feeling better today. I'm sorry you had to go through that awful feeling. But I too am selfishly glad to not have seen that scheduled gt came through. Wishing you better days to come

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Bit of an update. I have been really out of it the rest of the day as I wasn't expecting to still be alive. I feel like those people who glitch out of bounds in a video game. Everything is weird and floaty and reality feels far away. Really weird to experience.

Thanks for all of the nice words everyone. Honestly doing more for my mental health than a stupid psych hold.

So sorry to hear about your experience, it can be a shattering thing to expect so fully that you wouldn't have to wake up one more day and then to still be here.

As far as being "out of it" is concerned, I also experienced something similar after a failed attempt. I call it my "void inhabitance," as if my mind is just floating out there somewhere in the ether, unable to grasp onto any thought or have any direction. For me this lasted about a month and a half, and it still comes back every so often.