Could someone please talk to me while I cbt today? 24Female in Toronto

[bubbletea]

Hi. Because of benzos and psych meds I have to cbt. It's getting real bad. I have low cognitive function and everything scares me. Mind of a 5 year old. But I've been looking into physics, Time space, dimensions, DMT, free will, to help me understand everything.

No matter what measures we take if it's not our time we may not be able to die. We have have a fate written in sand. Time is passing but it might already be laid out. Like how an ant can only perceive that it goes up and down and doesn't understand right and left. We just know time to be moving forward but 4 dimensional beings may have more control than that.

I'm fucking terrified of the slit atom theory if anyone's familiar with it- according to which slit the atom moves through the outcome is different.

Free will- do we choose our thoughts or are we just watching a movie. We never chose anything from birth yet it influences our every choice.

Consciousness is not reliable to see the world accurately.

I need to cbt today.

 

[bubbletea]

Im afraid of all the possible outcomes that may be possible with any choice we make. Butterfly effect. I need out of this torture

 

[bubbletea]

If someone could just talk to me while I go through with it I'll really appreciate it

 

[wiroho]

I can't be your suicide coach. I am sorry. I hope you do it alright.

 

[Marawa]

I'm dealing with Xanax withdrawal & other psych meds too, so I can greatly empathize with your pain. Each day this stupid fight I have to put up to do ordinary things (ie grocery store, garbage) are monumental tasks.
I don't know much about the theories you speak of but I don't want you feeling alone in that.

 

[bubbletea]

I'm dealing with Xanax withdrawal & other psych meds too, so I can greatly empathize with your pain. Each day this stupid fight I have to put up to do ordinary things (ie grocery store, garbage) are monumental tasks.
I don't know much about the theories you speak of but I don't want you feeling alone in that.

You know how people survive things even though its almost guaranteed to die, and people die even from the safest situations. What if it was just their fate that they should die or live. And we have no control over it at all. So I know even if I make an effort to die right now, if it's written that I should I may, if not I may not. I'm seriously so scared

 

[Final Escape]

Hi. Because of benzos and psych meds I have to cbt. It's getting real bad. I have low cognitive function and everything scares me. Mind of a 5 year old. But I've been looking into physics, Time space, dimensions, DMT, free will, to help me understand everything.

No matter what measures we take if it's not our time we may not be able to die. We have have a fate written in sand. Time is passing but it might already be laid out. Like how an ant can only perceive that it goes up and down and doesn't understand right and left. We just know time to be moving forward but 4 dimensional beings may have more control than that.

I'm fucking terrified of the slit atom theory if anyone's familiar with it- according to which slit the atom moves through the outcome is different.

Free will- do we choose our thoughts or are we just watching a movie. We never chose anything from birth yet it influences our every choice.

Consciousness is not reliable to see the world accurately.

I need to cbt today.

We do have free will but it will look like we don't in society because many people are not educated very well and there's a tremendous amount of propaganda in movies, music, education system. So you are taught to believe life just happens and u have no control whatsoever, no agency, or personal responsibility. Thoughts take work to change because some of us were programmed badly by shit parenting, neglect. You will not be conscious of how toxic your thinking is until u try to fight back. Thought change work which takes time and repetition for some time. Phsyc meds won't fix u. Our healthcare system is designed to keep u sick, unless it's like an acute infection or something.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi there @bubbletea it sounds like you are getting seriously anxious and I don't blame you - benzodiazepine withdrawals are just awful. Are you inside right now, somewhere warm and cosy?

 

[Marawa]

You know how people survive things even though its almost guaranteed to die, and people die even from the safest situations. What if it was just their fate that they should die or live. And we have no control over it at all. So I know even if I make an effort to die right now, if it's written that I should I may, if not I may not. I'm seriously so scared

I understand the fear, I'm in the grips of it too. I'm no longer religious & I don't see the world as predestined or guided by a benevolent spirit, so I think our actions are our own. So I don't believe in "my time" except for naturally or accidental death.

 

[JustAboutDone]

@bubbletea what you are describing sounds exactly like the way your minds thinks during benzodiazepine withdrawal. The only way you can get through this time is to keep yourself warm and safe. Wrap yourself in a comfortable blanket and drink warm drinks. This terrible fear will pass and you will be ok

Try and listen to some calming music or do you have a favourite film?

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Oh dear, I believe it's not possible to understand life and death, greatest minds tried and failed. There is no certainty in anything as far as I know..
I understand your fears at personal level and I am so sorry you are suffering, I would like to help only that I am an anxious mess myself and not very good at talking, and English is not my native language. But if you need to talk PM me please.

 

[bubbletea]

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

Its been 2 years since quitting the meds
I haven't been able to think straight
I am getting no support and my family is overseas and offers no understanding
I don't think they will understand

I wish I could please die
Please make it stop

And quantum immortality theory says no matter what you do you the observer will always go through the route that will be able to be observed which means I the observer won't be able to die and just be injured worse than now
I thought about all the times I almost died and didn't
What if that was one of those times I just observed myself to another timeline
I am trapped in a living hell then

Yet I am regressed into a five year olds mind that can only call for help

 

[bubbletea]

I have been trapped in my house for about a month
My parents have stopped all contact with me

I was getting thoughts that this isn't real
None of this is real
I am so so so so so afraid
It's getting worse
I'm like a child all I can do is ask for help

 

[JustAboutDone]

@bubbletea it can take a few years for psychiatric medications to clear from your system completely. Have you seen a doctor recently for a check up at all?

If you were meant to have died before you would have, but you are here now, honey, and you must try to focus just on the moment of now.

I know you must be very scared. Look around you and tell us five things you can see in your room and describe them

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Kinda sounds like final destination your thinking
That's not to be insensitive but well.. reading it, that's what it sounds like

 

[bubbletea]

Kinda sounds like final destination your thinking
That's not to be insensitive but well.. reading it, that's what it sounds like

Is it true?

 

[bubbletea]

@bubbletea it can take a few years for psychiatric medications to clear from your system completely. Have you seen a doctor recently for a check up at all?

If you were meant to have died before you would have, but you are here now, honey, and you must try to focus just on the moment of now.

I know you must be very scared. Look around you and tell us five things you can see in your room and describe them

Thank you
Thank you
But its not going to be okay
The amount of pressure in my head and jaw

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thank you
Thank you
But its not going to be okay
The amount of pressure in my head and jaw

That might be because you are terrified and so tense that all your muscles have contracted? Have you got two Tylenol you can take?

 

[Memento Mori]

We do have free will but it will look like we don't in society because many people are not educated very well and there's a tremendous amount of propaganda in movies, music, education system. So you are taught to believe life just happens and u have no control whatsoever, no agency, or personal responsibility. Thoughts take work to change because some of us were programmed badly by shit parenting, neglect. You will not be conscious of how toxic your thinking is until u try to fight back. Thought change work which takes time and repetition for some time. Phsyc meds won't fix u. Our healthcare system is designed to keep u sick, unless it's like an acute infection or something.

:)

I have low cognitive function and everything scares me. Mind of a 5 year old. But I've been looking into physics, Time space, dimensions, DMT, free will, to help me understand everything.

Free will- do we choose our thoughts or are we just watching a movie. We never chose anything from birth yet it influences our every choice.

Consciousness is not reliable to see the world accurately.

I need to cbt today.

that doesn't mean that the mind of a 5 year old can evolve :) even my mind can lol

You choose your own thoughts like everyone else does, but we can't choose some man-made influences. yet we are free to choose. even when we're surrounded by bullshit, it depends on you. what do you mean by 'accurately'? one could also say we can't see the world accurately with all these perceptual filters in our brain so we need substances like LSD to see some 'realer' version of the world...but is sensory overload the right way?

what is conscious for you? is it what you imagine being conscious would be in a perfect world? or is it your old 'self' before all these meds? or are we talking about fate? If it is fate then you don't have to overthink, no matter what you try it's already chosen so it has already included all your overthinking and your ways of changing things. always the same result.

I don't feel conscious anymore, am just doing my routines like a haloperidol-zombie, but am not taking any meds atm. and since i'm very lazy and not giving my best i HAVE to believe in free will to change something, or else i'm just gonna continue my sad monotony because my only reason to live is already gone anyways