Discussion Could someone change your mind about CTB do you think? Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I've just read a very well meaning post by a member going through some suggested things to try before seriously contemplating suicide. Here is the post:

Things That Should Be Tried Prior to Considering a Suicide Attempt

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I think it touches on a lot of good points and a lot of reasonable suggestions. I know personally, I'm not at the stage where I would willingly take advice though. I'm curious as to whether other people think their mind could be swayed.

I suppose pro-lifers would like to see that in response to all venting posts. Don't contemplate suicide. Go to the gym, try multiple medications, try multiple jobs, go for a walk, volunteer, talk to a therapist, get a life coach.

I think we do make suggestions to people when they are asked for. For the rest of us though- Would we try these things now? How willing are we to listen to advice? Ultimately- do you think your mind could be dissuaded- if you are settled on suicide now?

I suppose in my mind, I feel like someone who deliberately joins a forum entitled 'Sanctioned Suicide' likely didn't come here specifically looking for recovery advise. Although, we do of course have the recovery section. Perhaps I'm wrong though. I can only go by my own experiences. Other people trying to fix my problems now would irritate me if I'm honest though.

I'd argue though that a lot of people have likely made up their mind before joining the site. My point in emphasizing this is out of annoyance that we're often labelled as some cult that draws people in and brain washes them. It may be painful to realise but, why do people think their loved ones go looking for suicide resources in the first place?

I've split the survey into age groups out of curiosity. How malleable are our minds/ decisions?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Never . I will never want any kind of life / existence/ consciousness

I will never see an objective reason for why I have to live another minute or for why I have to want to live another minute

No one could ever change my mind about killing myself asap nor about anything I posted

I have never even seen anyone say a valid reason for why I have to live another minute or something that validly negates even one thing I have posted.

 

[before20]

I suppose in my mind, I feel like someone who deliberately joins a forum entitled 'Sanctioned Suicide' likely didn't come here specifically looking for recovery advise.

Some people do come here for the pro-death philosophy, or to simply have a place to talk about their mental health without risking hospitalization.

Granted, I'm not one of them lol. I personally went through the meds + therapy route and it did fix my depression, but could not fix everything else.

 

[whywere]

I have 24/7 chronic pain, as the crash tore part of my spinal cord out of the back base of my brain and I just found out that from the car crash I have progressive arthritis in my backbone that came on, and I have always said that if and when it was a no go as far as daily life goodbye, HOWEVER if I would get someone in my life, then the equation could change, as I fully believe in the aspect that we are ALL in this together, and I would listen to the wishes of the other person.

Walter

 

[cme-dme]

I can only speak for myself but I think most people who want to commit suicide have already thought out everything. Suicide is more often than not a calculated and thought out decision rather than an impulsive one. Maybe I'm wrong about that though.

 

[hurtingmom]

I've just read a very well meaning post by a member going through some suggested things to try before seriously contemplating suicide. Here is the post:

Things That Should Be Tried Prior to Considering a Suicide Attempt

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I think it touches on a lot of good points and a lot of reasonable suggestions. I know personally, I'm not at the stage where I would willingly take advice though. I'm curious as to whether other people think their mind could be swayed.

I suppose pro-lifers would like to see that in response to all venting posts. Don't contemplate suicide. Go to the gym, try multiple medications, try multiple jobs, go for a walk, volunteer, talk to a therapist, get a life coach.

I think we do make suggestions to people when they are asked for. For the rest of us though- Would we try these things now? How willing are we to listen to advice? Ultimately- do you think your mind could be dissuaded- if you are settled on suicide now?

I suppose in my mind, I feel like someone who deliberately joins a forum entitled 'Sanctioned Suicide' likely didn't come here specifically looking for recovery advise. Although, we do of course have the recovery section. Perhaps I'm wrong though. I can only go by my own experiences. Other people trying to fix my problems now would irritate me if I'm honest though.

I'd argue though that a lot of people have likely made up their mind before joining the site. My point in emphasizing this is out of annoyance that we're often labelled as some cult that draws people in and brain washes them. It may be painful to realise but, why do people think their loved ones go looking for suicide resources in the first place?

I've split the survey into age groups out of curiosity. How malleable are our minds/ decisions?

I know that my daughter, who died by suicide, came here specifically looking for information about methods, which she found here. In her last message on this forum she thanked everyone because she found the info very helpful.

I agree with what you're saying: I think there may be a lot of people who come here because they've made up their mind. In one of her farewell messages my daughter stated explicitly no one could have stopped her. As a mom I find it irritating too, that people who choose to end their life are depicted as 'there must be something wrong with them,' and they should just call a suicide hotline.

There was a reason my daughter didn't call a helpline.

She wasn't looking for thát kind of help.

So, as a mom of someone who died by suicide I'm finding this place soothing in a way, because there's room to talk about this without all the judgement and advice to go and call for help as defined as suicide prevention.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Hmmm, interesting poll so far... I was expecting it to be all straight 'no's'- my mind is set. So, those who voted maybe- do you want people to suggest things? Do you ask for advice in the recovery section? I imagine that would be more positive than here!

 

[MidnightCat]

I've just read a very well meaning post by a member going through some suggested things to try before seriously contemplating suicide. Here is the post:

Things That Should Be Tried Prior to Considering a Suicide Attempt

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I think it touches on a lot of good points and a lot of reasonable suggestions. I know personally, I'm not at the stage where I would willingly take advice though. I'm curious as to whether other people think their mind could be swayed.

I suppose pro-lifers would like to see that in response to all venting posts. Don't contemplate suicide. Go to the gym, try multiple medications, try multiple jobs, go for a walk, volunteer, talk to a therapist, get a life coach.

I think we do make suggestions to people when they are asked for. For the rest of us though- Would we try these things now? How willing are we to listen to advice? Ultimately- do you think your mind could be dissuaded- if you are settled on suicide now?

I suppose in my mind, I feel like someone who deliberately joins a forum entitled 'Sanctioned Suicide' likely didn't come here specifically looking for recovery advise. Although, we do of course have the recovery section. Perhaps I'm wrong though. I can only go by my own experiences. Other people trying to fix my problems now would irritate me if I'm honest though.

I'd argue though that a lot of people have likely made up their mind before joining the site. My point in emphasizing this is out of annoyance that we're often labelled as some cult that draws people in and brain washes them. It may be painful to realise but, why do people think their loved ones go looking for suicide resources in the first place?

I've split the survey into age groups out of curiosity. How malleable are our minds/ decisions?

I'll be the first to admit we're all here for a reason.

That said, I do believe CTB should be the last possible option if possible.

You may have a really bad time for years, or psychical or psychological pain or...

And, one day it may all suddenly change everything in your life for the best and have a really great life after that.

So... I still believe there's time when encouraging someone to take other routes first and maybe postponing ctb for another day is okay.

Of course, noone can force anyone, that's just stupid and absurd.

But... Imagine you want to CTB because you have a lot of pain in your hand. And someone who had this pain tells you to try, idk, eucalyptus. And it freaking works.

Wouldn't it be nice?


There's a lot of things that may not have a solution, but I don't think those who try to help are doing it in bad faith.

Ofc, always respecting each other and not imposing on anyone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I know that my daughter, who died by suicide, came here specifically looking for information about methods, which she found here. In her last message on this forum she thanked everyone because she found the info very helpful.

I agree with what you're saying: I think there may be a lot of people who come here because they've made up their mind. In one of her farewell messages my daughter stated explicitly no one could have stopped her. As a mom I find it irritating too, that people who choose to end their life are depicted as 'there must be something wrong with them,' and they should just call a suicide hotline.

There was a reason my daughter didn't call a helpline.

She wasn't looking for thát kind of help.

So, as a mom of someone who died by suicide I'm finding this place soothing in a way, because there's room to talk about this without all the judgement and advice to go and call for help as defined as suicide prevention.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm very grateful you have come on here to talk about your experience. It must be a very hard time for you. I think it's actually beautiful how kind you are being. I've noticed so much resentment a lot of the time after a suicide. Towards a place like this. Even towards the person themselves. It's impressive how open minded you are being.

I think a lot of people here would agree. It's not that we don't love our families. Or that we don't think they would want to help us. Sometimes, we just know that they can't. So, for many of us, it's something we may even be keeping from them.

It's a whole mixture of people here. Polls sometimes surprise me actually because we all (predictably) have our own nuances. I've actually been surprised that a number of members would still be open to advice possibly. I wasn't actually expecting that.

 

[MidnightCat]

I know that my daughter, who died by suicide, came here specifically looking for information about methods, which she found here. In her last message on this forum she thanked everyone because she found the info very helpful.

I agree with what you're saying: I think there may be a lot of people who come here because they've made up their mind. In one of her farewell messages my daughter stated explicitly no one could have stopped her. As a mom I find it irritating too, that people who choose to end their life are depicted as 'there must be something wrong with them,' and they should just call a suicide hotline.

There was a reason my daughter didn't call a helpline.

She wasn't looking for thát kind of help.

So, as a mom of someone who died by suicide I'm finding this place soothing in a way, because there's room to talk about this without all the judgement and advice to go and call for help as defined as suicide prevention.

I can't even grasp how hurtful that must be.

I'm sorry for your loss. You're quite courageous to be able to browse SS.

I know a "sorry" from a stranger doesn't change anything, but still.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

This is a difficult question to answer for me at this point.

(The writer of the post you quote is a quite naive in my opinion, by the way. I am sure they mean well, but it is a not very well researched post.

Also, it is so, so, so bad that this society - thanks to the "popular psychology" - does not distinguish between an adjustment disorder and clinical depression. It is one thing to be "depressed" because something in your body does not function properly, and it is another thing to be "depressed" because your life is literal hell and all those problems are weighing you down. There is no pill that you can take at night for you to shit out a million dollars in the morning to help you pay your bills.)

The thing with me personally is that I am not suicidal - I simply have no desire to continue to exist. I used to think nothing and no one could change my mind about ctb. But a while ago I met someone whom I really wish I had met years ago. Now I have a "hope" for a better life. But. Every time in the past that I thought I was getting a fresh start and that this time it would be different, I found myself right back at the rock bottom. "It gets better" is a lie. This person won't fix all of my problems, and even if it was so, life is still meaningless and I find it really hard to exist without meaning. It will always be meaningless. And new problems will always follow. I am tired of giving myself chances. It doesn't get better. If I stay, I am sure I will become disillusioned with this universe once again. And once again I will come back to this forum and whine about how I wish I had N.

Part of me wants to agree with what was said about young people, that they should wait until they become older. But another part of me looks back on my own life and thinks that I would have been better off dead years ago. It doesn't "get better" for most people. I am not young anymore, and one of the regrets I have is not ctb-ing years ago. All I gained by staying alive is more suffering. Nothing has gotten better for me, it has only gotten worse. Life is a gamble. Ultimately it is up to the individual if they want to bet their money on it or not.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Advice? No, I don't think that would help me at this point. I don't need advice. I need someone to be there.

 

[Namelesa]

I am 19 and I won't say advice would deter ctb for me as I logically think death is the better option and less risky option and I probably couldn't actually put the advice to use so it would be useless to me. What would deter me from it tho would be someone to be able to emotionally support me and be of some value to them as then I would have purpose to exist but at some point that would not be enough for me to want to live as I think life is too repetitive and long so I would kill myself at some point eventually.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

36+ No. Not at this stage under my circumstances.

 

[GlassMoon]

36+, I feel old when I see the poll results :)

I joined this site in an undecided state, wanting to give recovery another chance but in case that failed, have a way to inform myself about suitable methods.

That being said, at time I signed up I felt invalidated and lacking support, besides physical pain. I think many of my problems can be solved with someone's useful advice, guidance and training, and that mostly applies to the pain as well. Therefore my answer is "yes". I plan receive a large amount of training soon, and that should make things change for the better.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

Not with advice no, because once decided there won't be another option. But if I were to find a solution, i.e., if circumstances changed presenting alternatives, it would be different.

 

[SilentSadness]

No, for me it's actually the opposite, if someone tries to convince me to stay alive that makes me more likely to kill myself to get away from pro lifers.

 

[TAW122]

I'm in the 25-35 age group and while I wouldn't say an exact yes or no, I would say in the most specific circumstances (and it's very unlikely but possible) I may be swayed to postpone CTB but realistically speaking that is slimmer than winning the lottery (not that winning the lottery would mean that I would never CTB). Ultimately, at the end of the day, CTB'ing is still my decision and mine alone, if continued sentience doesn't fulfill my interests and/or other things I deem worth sticking around, I'm going to go on my own terms rather than letting pure circumstances dictate it. Of course, there are some things that could nudge me closer to CTB or so, but at the end of the day, it's still ultimately my choice and more/less already made my decision long ago.

 

[WatchmeBurn]

It's not about taking advice. There's nothing someone else can say that'll magically be a 'eureka' moment and turn your life around.

It's more so about accepting treatment. If someone came up to me with a radically new treatment (e.g., if I was able to access rTMS) then I'd merrily accept it and put off my suicide because, above all, I want to be happy and fulfilled. I'd much rather live a happy life than kill myself, and the latter is a response to unbearable/incurable suffering rather than some idea that happiness is literally impossible or that life can never be worth living by definition.

But words alone cannot fix mental health, so the phrasing 'advice' doesn't really sway me. I've tried about 8 therapists, 14 medications, exercise, education, work, etc etc, and none of it has worked for me. I've followed my own morals and ethical standards, and I'm still here. I need something new, not just words.

 

[CatLvr]

I know that my daughter, who died by suicide, came here specifically looking for information about methods, which she found here. In her last message on this forum she thanked everyone because she found the info very helpful.

I agree with what you're saying: I think there may be a lot of people who come here because they've made up their mind. In one of her farewell messages my daughter stated explicitly no one could have stopped her. As a mom I find it irritating too, that people who choose to end their life are depicted as 'there must be something wrong with them,' and they should just call a suicide hotline.

There was a reason my daughter didn't call a helpline.

She wasn't looking for thát kind of help.

So, as a mom of someone who died by suicide I'm finding this place soothing in a way, because there's room to talk about this without all the judgement and advice to go and call for help as defined as suicide prevention.

As a mother myself your story cut me to the core. I am horribly sorry for your loss. And at the same time happy that your child has found her peace. I am still here because I can't find a way to help my children (who are adults) come to terms with the fact I want to leave this world. It is my sincere hope that you find comfort in the fact that your daughter is no longer suffering. May the peace we all search for be with you.

 

[always_sad]

I don't hate it when someone suggests to try therapy or go to the gym or whatever, I don't find it annoying as long as they don't imply that their magical affirmations will totally fix all of your problems. I see no problem with the post you linked and I agree with most of it. When I was younger I had a very specific motivation to kill myself and the post would help me. I've grown out of it. Now I have a different motivation

I suppose in my mind, I feel like someone who deliberately joins a forum entitled 'Sanctioned Suicide' likely didn't come here specifically looking for recovery advise.

I am here because I have no one to talk to. I'm one of those people who don't really want to die asap, but don't see any point in living either... Sometimes I get urges to end it all but I have unfinished business so I have to be here. Whenever I talked about my experiences on places like reddit people would either say nothing but shallow platitudes about how great it is to be alive or something about resilence or whatever. Or they would jump at my throat for just mentioning suicidal thoughts and flag my posts. I didn't even talk about anything graphic.
On most social media platforms merely mentioning feeling suicidal can make your account blocked. On here people can talk openly.
I don't mind recovery but I will not push it on anyone

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

I am 19 and I won't say advice would deter ctb for me as I logically think death is the better option and less risky option and I probably couldn't actually put the advice to use so it would be useless to me. What would deter me from it tho would be someone to be able to emotionally support me and be of some value to them as then I would have purpose to exist but at some point that would not be enough for me to want to live as I think life is too repetitive and long so I would kill myself at some point eventually.

I'm in the 25-35 age group and while I wouldn't say an exact yes or no, I would say in the most specific circumstances (and it's very unlikely but possible) I may be swayed to postpone CTB but realistically speaking that is slimmer than winning the lottery (not that winning the lottery would mean that I would never CTB). Ultimately, at the end of the day, CTB'ing is still my decision and mine alone, if continued sentience doesn't fulfill my interests and/or other things I deem worth sticking around, I'm going to go on my own terms rather than letting pure circumstances dictate it. Of course, there are some things that could nudge me closer to CTB or so, but at the end of the day, it's still ultimately my choice and more/less already made my decision long ago.

Same -- I could be persuaded to postpone, but not to forgo. I do think there was a brief window of time when I first started having suicidal thoughts where I might have been able/open to changing my mind, especially if I had had someone to love me and take care of me through that initial crisis. But at this point I've had too much time to think about suicide on a philosophical level, to poke and prod and test and scrutinize my beliefs for logical inconsistencies or holes or contradictions, which is something I made an active, dedicated effort to do. I came up empty. So that ship has already sailed, and it is now just a matter of time.

 

[Valhala]

One person could do that, my ex-partner, my only love, if they reconciled and were together again.

 

[JesiBel]

No, the truth is that I have never been interested in the opinion of others... in the end, it is you who experiences your own suffering or anguish. There is nothing magical that will solve your problems. If you think about ctb it is because you have already tried everything, and things do not improve... and you feel less and less hope and more despair.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I agree that suicide should be the last option for everyone. I am definitely pro-choice, it's your life, your decision! I always say, "I can't make you understand my reasons for wanting to go and I'll never understand your reasons for wanting to stay!"

I think people come to this site for various reasons of course. I initially came after a few failed attempts and i finally discovered one that I felt was 100% sure not to fail.

I did everything the post suggested prior between my attempts and what I realized is, you simply can't erase trauma! There is no pill for it, there's nothing anyone can tell me that can ease the pain. Everyday, I wake up to the sake issues and now I've added a few more. So, NO, I don't need advice, please don't give it, and help me figure out a way to get out of this hell I'm in! That's exactly what I'm looking for! I'm not crazy, not delusional, I'm nothing that society calls and labels us!

If I decided to attempt again, there is nothing anyone could have said or done to prevent me from ctbing! I think sometimes people can't understand/imagine how difficult emotional and or physical pain can be to carry every single day, hour, minute, and second. Suicide is indeed a final solution to a permanent problem!

 

[The_Hunter]

Hmmm, interesting poll so far... I was expecting it to be all straight 'no's'- my mind is set. So, those who voted maybe- do you want people to suggest things? Do you ask for advice in the recovery section? I imagine that would be more positive than here!

Just realized, this poll being in this forum sub-section probably does, skew the results just a bit :P Thanks for pointing that out!

Myself, I just happen to sometimes run into the SD section of this forum while perusing around, haha!

 

[Kibby]

this forums full off kind and interesting ppl tbh they already have changed my mind or at least staved it off, friends in general are the best and only cope for me

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Unless they have a magic wand that can change this maggot-infested society, no way in hell.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I know that my daughter, who died by suicide, came here specifically looking for information about methods, which she found here. In her last message on this forum she thanked everyone because she found the info very helpful.

I agree with what you're saying: I think there may be a lot of people who come here because they've made up their mind. In one of her farewell messages my daughter stated explicitly no one could have stopped her. As a mom I find it irritating too, that people who choose to end their life are depicted as 'there must be something wrong with them,' and they should just call a suicide hotline.

There was a reason my daughter didn't call a helpline.

She wasn't looking for thát kind of help.

So, as a mom of someone who died by suicide I'm finding this place soothing in a way, because there's room to talk about this without all the judgement and advice to go and call for help as defined as suicide prevention.

I read your post and it made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to try to imagine your pain. I didn't know your daughter but I'm sure she was wonderful! There are a lot of beautiful people trapped inside here for various reasons. This has become our safe haven because society has told us we are crazy and to stop talking like we do.

I'm sure coming to this site must have been difficult for you, but I applaud you for entering your daughters world and trying to understand. I hope you can gain if you haven't already, some insight, closure, unanswered questions, etc with her transitioning from this site.

I truly wish you the best. And may your daughter rest in paradise

 

[Gstreater]

There is literally one person that has the best shot to pull me out of this. Only one person and I know it'll never happen.