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Kobusu
Writer
- Oct 18, 2021
- 260
How do you guys cope with ideation? For most of my life it was "I'm only here until I'm 18" which got me through my first 18 years of life, though I had my fair share of attempts and plans before then anyways. After that, i spent a few years living for someone else and fooling myself into believing someone might be with me until I die, but even then I fantasized about suicide and death constantly. Now, it's all I can think about. I see death or a potential suicide in everything. In the metal banisters on the highway, in the bears that sometimes pop out of the woods, hell I think about how I might kill myself with traffic cones when I see them. How do you guys cope? Does anyone else experience this? I'm at the end of my rope, and I can't handle going back to the Ward. Any advice is appreciated