Help Convince me to not be cruel...

[Redt2go]

My emotions are gone and I'm being selfish again.

When I was emotional I was determined to stay until May so that my friends have a happy graduation and dont have to deal with losing a friend....

I however do not have the motivation to try in any of my classes and will likely be kicked out of dorms and have my parents contacted before the semester ends thus foiling my plans to leave...

I also wanted to stay until after mother's day because I won't be the first child my mother loses.

This all my sense to me cognitively. However emotionally I couldn't give a single fuck.... I've tried reading r/suicidebreavement again and I still don't feel anything :/ ....

 

[LastDay]

The way I see it there's never going to be a "right time" for your loved ones to lose you.

My boyfriend and I will have our nine year anniversary on 13th and his birthday is a month later. I'm so fucking done though that depending on when my supplies arrive I want to CTB on the 15th.

All I ever wanted to was to be truly cherished and loved and the world turned its back on me, so I'm turning my back on the world and everyone in it. If that makes me a cold hearted bitch so be it.

 

[Redt2go]

The way I see it there's never going to be a "right time" for your loved ones to lose you.

My boyfriend and I will have our nine year anniversary on 13th and his birthday is a month later. I'm so fucking done though that depending on when my supplies arrive I want to CTB on the 15th.

All I ever wanted to was to be truly cherished and loved and the world turned its back on me, so I'm turning my back on the world and everyone in it. If that makes me a cold hearted bitch so be it.

Thanks I'm sorry that the world treated you like shit... One of the reasons I'm ctb is because I've had nothing but love in my life but I did a lot of damage to those people because I'm the cold hearted bitch but not on purpose... I'm defective...

 

[LastDay]

@Redt2go I get that. I severely damaged the relationship with my boyfriend. I have several mental illnesses due to childhood trauma so I never really knew how to love or live normally. So yeah..there's nothing for me here anymore and I'm not going to wait any longer.

What are you diagnosed with?

 

[Redt2go]

Not diagnosed but I'm pretyy sure im a severe narcissist with bipolar

 

[LastDay]

Not diagnosed but I'm pretyy sure im a severe narcissist with bipolar

Awe, well you seem pretty nice to me. <3

 

[Othermind]

The way I see it there's never going to be a "right time" for your loved ones to lose you

So much fucking this.
I'd say try to avoid someone's birthday or a major holiday so you don't flat out ruin it for them forever, but it's not like the anniversary of your death will ever be a nice occurrence for anyone going forward.

 

[Redt2go]

Awe, well you seem pretty nice to me. <3

Thanks you too