nixdeath
Member
- May 3, 2022
- 93
I used to hate God. I was raised a Christian, but I was sexually assaulted by another church member when I was eight. It, among other things, led to a deep depression and a eventual lack of faith in God. He seemed to have abandoned me, and why should I care about a God who abandoned me. I considered myself an atheist, but in reality I simply hated God and what he did to me. Eventually after a drug addiction, and developing BPD, I realized that God might be able to help me. I felt a calling back to him, and while I will never go back to that old church I used to be a member of as a kid, I am planning on joining another one after my move. It has been making me feel a bit strange, on one hand excited to have someone (thing?) that may help, but on the other hand I miss my old life of doing whatever I felt like. Anyway thats just my story wanted to share it, not sure why I chose here its been a long time since I've used this website.