Controversial Opinion That I Only Feel Comfortable Stating Here

[popcorn1234]

I have a controversial opinion on mental health that I only feel comfortable sharing here, since I feel like you all will understand and not judge me.

Throughout my life, I have seen lots of articles and social media posts about people who have committed suicide. The grieving parents are usually highlighted in these posts, and people usually have sympathy and compassion for them.

I don't.

After my own experiences as well as hearing peoples experiences about their lives, I can't help but wonder how those grieving parents treated their child while they were still alive.

They are usually featured in a good light, but no one ever questions their role in their kid's poor mental health.

Whenever I read these articles or see these social media posts, I always feel like there's more to the story that we're not seeing.

 

[waqs]

ofc, why would articles show the reality of the world when they could just lie and blame something that can help push whatever narrative theyre trying to portray

 

[elenaboo25]

That's not controversial. My parents are the reason I exist. If it wasn't for their selfish act of having sex without using contraception, I wouldn't be here. And they didn't even take the hint when my older brother was stillborn.

 

[imontheloose]

Totally get that. Some people's CTB is directly or indirectly caused by their parents at least partially, but others' CTB is quite the opposite: some stay alive strictly because of their parents.

It's hard to say which family did what. The news will never tell you the full extents of someone's suicide to respect the deceased's privacy, but I totally get the intuition.

Do you feel like your parents had a negative impact on you and hence you sort of link it to others in similar shoes?

 

[PI3.14]

While the way our parents have treated us definitely plays a huge role in our mental health, with the effect lasting well into adulthood, there isn't however a single reason that drives people to suicide.

 

[whybother2002]

To each their own. I really respect your opinion. For me, for as much as they are responsible for their kid's poor mental health, it is possible that they themselves are product of their own parents bad decisions — should they have kids in the first place then? I guess not, but it's not everyone realize and work on their traumas and limitations. So, everyone is a mess. That doesn't exclude abuse, of course, but I can sympathize with parents crying over their child's death, precisely because they will think about what they've done wrong for the rest of time.

 

[popcorn1234]

Totally get that. Some people's CTB is directly or indirectly caused by their parents at least partially, but others' CTB is quite the opposite: some stay alive strictly because of their parents.

It's hard to say which family did what. The news will never tell you the full extents of someone's suicide to respect the deceased's privacy, but I totally get the intuition.

Do you feel like your parents had a negative impact on you and hence you sort of link it to others in similar shoes?

Yeah, my mom had a negative impact on me. She has treated me and continues to treat me like crap.

 

[imontheloose]

Yeah, my mom had a negative impact on me. She has treated me and continues to treat me like crap.

I get you, dear. Parents can really be horrible. They involuntarily bring you here just to treat you like crap. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that all. <3

 

[popcorn1234]

To each their own. I really respect your opinion. For me, for as much as they are responsible for their kid's poor mental health, it is possible that they themselves are product of their own parents bad decisions — should they have kids in the first place then? I guess not, but it's not everyone realize and work on their traumas and limitations. So, everyone is a mess. That doesn't exclude abuse, of course, but I can sympathize with parents crying over their child's death, precisely because they will think about what they've done wrong for the rest of time.

You see, I've always hated that excuse, that parents are a product of their parents own bad decisions. They are fully grown adults who have the free will to make a choice and do better. The fact that they are choosing not to speaks volumes.

 

[Nightfoot]

I think it's a case by case thing. In some instances, parents likely play a role but not in all.

 

[whybother2002]

You see, I've always hated that excuse, that parents are a product of their parents own bad decisions. They are fully grown adults who have the free will to make a choice and do better. The fact that they are choosing not to speaks volumes.

It's an explanation for their behaviour more than an excuse, but I understand what you're saying (and I'm sorry for what you went through)

 

[Roseate]

They don't question them because society like to take away the parents part in the way their kids turned out, but you are right. I do feel parents play a major role in it, either due to neglect or abuse but most of the time, instead of getting their kids help at the first sign of trouble, they turn away and pretend everything is fine because it's easier for them and they only care about what's easy for them. Then when they eventually get their kids help, if they do at all, it's usually late and by then, they don't even educate themselves on the matter and make no effort to get help themselves to better help their kids and somehow when it ends badly, they get sympathy. They don't even highlight their kids traits, it's focused on how they're grieving and sad… yet the people who ctb is the selfish one. It makes no sense. Many of us might've turned out differently if our parents had done a better job whether that was catching the signs early, being better parents, actually educating themselves and etc. they're always to blame.

 

[Ashu]

I suspect that most people who see reproduction as this unforgivable crime of selfishness are people who have little or no opportunity to have sex themselves. Any honest, thoughtful person who has been in a sexual relationship, or even just had random sex, knows that you don't approach sex in a rational, calculating way. And if you're actually capable of loving your partner, then moral complexity and ambiguity increase exponentially.

 

[ConstantPain]

Personally, I had ample opportunities and many partners in my younger years and have been with my husband for almost 25 years. He'd have sex with me every day if I let him. I've always known however, that I didn't want to bring a life into this rotten world. I made damn sure no life would be created by me and my husband didn't want kids either. I told him very early on when dating that I didn't want kids and he agreed. No ambiguity or moral complexity here and it wasn't very difficult to remain childless. That was even with being pressured by other family members, employers, friends etc.

I realize that not everyone has access to reliable birth control and that makes unplanned pregnancies and births understandable. Here in the U.S. if you really don't want one you don't have to have one.