Constant suicidal thoughts normal?

[bluelou]

I was 41 years old basically this year when I realised that having passive suicidal ideation isn't something that everyone has. I flit between passive and active and was really surprised when I realised, I guess I'm not normal after all.

 

[Rumi]

I was 41 years old basically this year when I realised that having passive suicidal ideation isn't something that everyone has. I flit between passive and active and was really surprised when I realised, I guess I'm not normal after all.

It's hard to know what's 'normal'. Very few people will admit to thinking about suicide, and while I have no doubt that most people don't experience suicidal ideation regularly, the number who do is probably more than you'd think.

You also can't really compare yourself to other people, unless you have something in common. It might be more useful to ask yourself, 'Do people with experiences similar to mine think about suicide often? You can kind of get a sense of what's 'normal' from reading the stories of members who you have things in common with.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that it's normal not wanting to exist. To me the truly irrational thing is to be "happy" in this reality where there is endless potential for suffering and harm. This world truly is such a hellish place where all that we are destined for is to be tortured by old age. I know that I've never wished to exist here and could never do, there is nothing appealing about existing here.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've had ideation for 33 years (I'm 43.) Suicide has always felt like a viable option to me. It's even been a comfort- if I REALLY can't cope with life- there's a way out. Of course- it's only when you start really looking into methods that you realise just how hard it actually is- then of course- it just becomes unbearably frustrating.

While it's always been there- the regularity and intensity of thoughts have changed for me definitely. I've been FAR more unhappy than I am now- although I've felt fixated on suicide for over a year now- more than I ever have before I think. I'm wondering if it's because I'm getting gradually nearer to a point where I might feel able to do it- I'm waiting for my Dad to go first.

Do you ever wonder if it is partly habit, having these thoughts? Plus, as other people have said before- there can be something weirdly comforting in melancholy pessimism. Partly I suppose, deciding that you're not even going to challenge or fight those feelings.

Still- I agree with you. I find it odd that some people never think about suicide. Sometimes I do wonder what life would be like with their brain and their thinking. Would it be easier I wonder? It's kind of exhausting fighting against life all the time and being so full of cynicism, pessimism and angst.