Venting Considering my options.

[GoneBeforeChristmas]

I'm only 18, I'm currently homeless, was screwed over by awful parents, and it feels like nothing's getting better.

Everyone keeps telling me that "things will get better you just need hope" but it feels impossible to have hope.

Even if I magically get a place to live and all that my life still feels so pointless. I'm not particularly good at anything, I dont really have any friends, I cant really hold a job.

I'm really starting to feel like my only real option is to end my life.

 

[whatevs]

I wish I could tell you that it gets better but it didn't for me. I had strong suicidal urges one night when I was 19 and I'm now in this forum with 1800 posts, and a decade of 70% misery, 30% joy behind. I chose to say no to that eloquent inner voice that vas advising me to kill myself that day.

I'm not even sure why I'm not killing myself now. I guess I'm scared. Things haven't looked good in a long time. I have some vague spiritual beliefs but I'm not sure how they would make suicide 'the wrong choice'. By staying alive I'm partaking in spiritual filth, IMO.

But getting back to your situation, for some people it does get better. When you are young and in the gutter ascending shouldn't be impossible.

 

[Darkover]

if your life starts off shit chances are it probably stay that way for the rest of it, better to leave now then live a miserable lifetime

 

[GoneBeforeChristmas]

if your life starts off shit chances are it probably stay that way for the rest of it, better to leave now then live a miserable lifetime

Basically my thoughts, everything in my life has been on a down hill since it started. I feel stupid for only losing hope just now.

 

[whatevs]

Basically my thoughts, everything in my life has been on a down hill since it started. I feel stupid for only losing hope just now.

It's kind of funny in a twisted way that someone can become 'a winner' of sorts if they lose hope in themselves sooner rather than later, minimizing their suffering.

 

[LoveYoux]

I don't know where you're from so I don't know how to advise as to accommodation and housing, maybe even consider referring yourself to a psych ward, it seems a bit extreme but honestly, sounds like a good path for you x

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand everything feeling pointless. I know that I could personally never see a point to living no matter what. I'm sorry that you suffer so much, it is such a cruel and unfair world that we live in. I understand that it is hard to carry on when everything feels so hopeless. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.