Considering moving to a new country in hopes of recovery.

[FullCircle]

I'll try to keep it short. I'm 31 and have been married for 1 year. We live in the US. Our anniversary is tomorrow. I've struggled with anxiety, self harm, and depression for as long as I can remember. When I'm motivated and medicated I can do okay. I have a bachelor's degree in high school math education and a certificate for data analysis and visualization. I have an office job and make decent money, and have good work experience.
But half of my paycheck goes to debt. Mostly student loans, some credit cards. I'm behind on payments and some things are in collections.
I drink and smoke weed nightly to cope. I'm on several medications that help me function, but that's about all they do. I'm also in therapy.
My loved ones keep me alive. I love my husband and our sweet puppy. I have friends and family who care about me. But I feel like I'm on autopilot. I feel like I'm fighting for every moment of every day.
I wonder if a drastic change will help. I've researched safe, inexpensive places to live and I'm thinking about Portugal.
I can get a job with my experience and my education, I'll probably need to do some refreshing. I can learn Portuguese if I put my mind to it. From what I understand, having debt doesn't affect one's ability to live/work in another country. I'd never be able to move back but I could visit friends/family.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I want to live this life I just can't see myself doing it like this forever.
If anyone read this, thank you.

TLDR: Moving to another country to start over and avoid debt?

 

[neurotic]

I would totally love to go somewhere else. You should do it! If you're able to do something like that and not struggle too much economically, which it sounds like it wouldn't be hard considering you have a bacherlor's degree and certificates, you should do it. Seek change because whatever you're dealing with here doesn't sound like it's improved or going to. There's no promise it will.

Worse case scenario, you come back defeated. But at least you can say you actually tried.

 

[Zegers]

Portugal is a nice country, with a laid-back lifestyle.

Best wishes

 

[FullCircle]

I would totally love to go somewhere else. You should do it! If you're able to do something like that and not struggle too much economically, which it sounds like it wouldn't be hard considering you have a bacherlor's degree and certificates, you should do it. Seek change because whatever you're dealing with here doesn't sound like it's improved or going to. There's no promise it will.

Worse case scenario, you come back defeated. But at least you can say you actually tried.

I mentioned it to my husband kind of jokingly and he didn't tell me I was crazy his Spanish is pretty good because his family is from Puerto Rico. Portuguese isn't too far off from Spanish. I don't know it feels exciting to me especially since I've felt so stuck. When I'm motivated, I can do things. But this stuck, apathetic feeling is terrifying me.
It would be a process, I don't even have a passport.
Morally I feel bad abandoning my debt, but I was literally 17 when I signed some of those student loan papers.

 

[Brokensoulwalking]

Portugal is a nice country, with a laid-back lifestyle.

Best wishes

Did this. Felt the worst I ever did in Portugal. Then again the only person I ever loved who chewed me up and spat me out lived there.

Never saw them but knowing they were there was hard enough. Silly I know

 

[StaticCryBabye]

It takes incredible strength to carry the burden of anxiety, self-harm, and depression, and I admire your resilience in continuing to seek help through therapy and medication. It's also heartening to hear that you have loved ones who care about you and provide support.


Regarding your financial situation, it's understandable that debt can add additional stress to your life. Exploring options to manage and alleviate your debt, such as seeking advice from a financial counselor or exploring repayment plans, may help ease the financial burden and provide a sense of control.

Considering a drastic change, like moving to another country, is a significant decision. It's crucial to thoroughly research and consider all aspects, including job prospects, language barriers, cultural adjustments, and support networks. It may be helpful to discuss your thoughts and aspirations with your therapist to gain further insights and explore the potential benefits and challenges of such a move.

Remember, you don't have to face these challenges alone. Reach out to your therapist, loved ones, or support groups for guidance and support as you navigate through this difficult period. You are deserving of happiness and well-being, and with the right support and resources, you can work towards finding a sense of fulfillment and peace in your life.

 

[whatevs]

Regarding your financial situation, it's understandable that debt can add additional stress to your life. Exploring options to manage and alleviate your debt, such as seeking advice from a financial counselor or exploring repayment plans, may help ease the financial burden and provide a sense of control.

Considering a drastic change, like moving to another country, is a significant decision. It's crucial to thoroughly research and consider all aspects, including job prospects, language barriers, cultural adjustments, and support networks. It may be helpful to discuss your thoughts and aspirations with your therapist to gain further insights and explore the potential benefits and challenges of such a move.

Remember, you don't have to face these challenges alone. Reach out to your therapist, loved ones, or support groups for guidance and support as you navigate through this difficult period. You are deserving of happiness and well-being, and with the right support and resources, you can work towards finding a sense of fulfillment and peace in your life.

This is definitely AI originated. Are you a real person? What are you doing?

 

[Linda]

I'll try to keep it short. I'm 31 and have been married for 1 year. We live in the US. Our anniversary is tomorrow. I've struggled with anxiety, self harm, and depression for as long as I can remember. When I'm motivated and medicated I can do okay. I have a bachelor's degree in high school math education and a certificate for data analysis and visualization. I have an office job and make decent money, and have good work experience.
But half of my paycheck goes to debt. Mostly student loans, some credit cards. I'm behind on payments and some things are in collections.
I drink and smoke weed nightly to cope. I'm on several medications that help me function, but that's about all they do. I'm also in therapy.
My loved ones keep me alive. I love my husband and our sweet puppy. I have friends and family who care about me. But I feel like I'm on autopilot. I feel like I'm fighting for every moment of every day.
I wonder if a drastic change will help. I've researched safe, inexpensive places to live and I'm thinking about Portugal.
I can get a job with my experience and my education, I'll probably need to do some refreshing. I can learn Portuguese if I put my mind to it. From what I understand, having debt doesn't affect one's ability to live/work in another country. I'd never be able to move back but I could visit friends/family.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I want to live this life I just can't see myself doing it like this forever.
If anyone read this, thank you.

TLDR: Moving to another country to start over and avoid debt?

If you have messed things up in the US, what makes you suppose you will do any better in Portgugal? You might just take your problems with you. Might be better to fix the underlying problems. I have lived in many countries, on there continents, and living abroad is NOT an easy option, especially if it's in a country where they speak a different language. Learning a languag so you can speak it well is very hard.

 

[nessun_nome]

I'll try to keep it short. I'm 31 and have been married for 1 year. We live in the US. Our anniversary is tomorrow. I've struggled with anxiety, self harm, and depression for as long as I can remember. When I'm motivated and medicated I can do okay. I have a bachelor's degree in high school math education and a certificate for data analysis and visualization. I have an office job and make decent money, and have good work experience.
But half of my paycheck goes to debt. Mostly student loans, some credit cards. I'm behind on payments and some things are in collections.
I drink and smoke weed nightly to cope. I'm on several medications that help me function, but that's about all they do. I'm also in therapy.
My loved ones keep me alive. I love my husband and our sweet puppy. I have friends and family who care about me. But I feel like I'm on autopilot. I feel like I'm fighting for every moment of every day.
I wonder if a drastic change will help. I've researched safe, inexpensive places to live and I'm thinking about Portugal.
I can get a job with my experience and my education, I'll probably need to do some refreshing. I can learn Portuguese if I put my mind to it. From what I understand, having debt doesn't affect one's ability to live/work in another country. I'd never be able to move back but I could visit friends/family.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I want to live this life I just can't see myself doing it like this forever.
If anyone read this, thank you.

TLDR: Moving to another country to start over and avoid debt?

This sounds to me like a sure fire way to worsen your situation. I'm sorry to say that.

Portugal has outlandishly high unemployment. In the job market you would not compare favourably with native Portuguese speakers and it takes years to get to any level of fluency.

Even if you get a visa which allows you to work, it doesn't follow that you will be able to stay indefinitely or obtain Portuguese nationality. So you might have to return home.

I'm also not sure that Portugal is that cheap and don't forget that some taxes and charges are higher for immigrants.

The debt situation is horrible but are they going down at all? Can you do a deal with your creditors? What is the worst that could happen where you live? Would you be homeless or would they just come and take your things.

I have a friend in Lisbon. If you want to summarise your qualifications and experience I'll ask her what she thinks.

 

[thechamp]

I don't know anything about Portugal, I'd understand you'd probably need to pay off your debt either way. I will say this, I read a book based off Allen Carr's methods on how he dropped smoking instantly, thinking it would be months of hell when in reality it was completely painless., only this book was reworked to quit porn. I think it's called "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking" and if you're willing to put your mind to it, the audiobook version of it should be drifting around on YouTube somewhere. God bless and congrats on the anniversary mate.

 

[hellispink]

Did you left to another country after all?

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I'm from Portugal and I moved country so I feel like I can give some pointers.
Being a foreigner that moved country for her dream job and speaks the language of the foreign country fluently, it didn't make me happy. Your problems go with you no matter where you go.

Not knowing the language of the country you're moving into is a big step back. I speak fluent English and even so I felt a bit out of place in England due to not knowing British words for common things. Truck is lorry, trash can is rubbish bin, simple things like that. Portuguese is a hard language to learn and speak, especially if you come from an English background. There is also the fact that, in terms of foreigners, you would probably be behind all the Brazilian foreigners that move to Portugal for work. They already speak fluent Portuguese, even though it is Brazilian Portuguese, it is very close and they would be in front of you in terms of priority.

It's not that cheap to live in Portugal either, especially if you're moving to Lisbon or Porto. If you don't speak Portuguese, those places are your best bet for being understood. Not everyone speaks English after all, especially not outside of city areas or smaller cities. Even so, your local supermarket won't have English speakers so you need to understand basic Portuguese to get by. Taxes and things like that are not easy even for nationals. I still have a hard time understanding taxes in Portugal whilst I learned how taxes work in England much easily. Everything formal will be written in hard to grasp Portuguese, even for nationals, things like tenancy agreements, job contracts, internet contracts, etc. So it's not just basic Portuguese you need to know, it's fluency level you need unless you're willing to sign something without knowing what it means.

Regarding debt, you're right that the debt wouldn't go with you. This is something I checked with an accountant. However, you would still want to pay off your debt because when you go back to the US that debt is waiting for you and you will go there one day, to stay or not doesn't matter, it's not good to leave off debt. Unfortunately it's something you can't run away from forever.

I'm sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for...moving country is hard, you will miss the food, the supermarkets names, you will realise that food you grew up with doesn't exist where you're going. Stores have different opening times, people have different habits, and all those small things will make you homesick. It's not family or friends that is the hardest, at least not for me, it's wanting a "bola de berlim" and knowing it doesn't exist or the doppelganger isn't the same. It's going to a restaurant and being disappointed with the food every time. It's missing speaking my own language with people, feeling like I'm a different person in English, which I am and you will be as well.

I know it sounds romantic to make such a move but maybe you need some holiday instead of moving country. Just to relax and have a reality check. It's not that it can't be done, it can, you can move to Portugal and not speak the language, it will just be a lot more stressful and isolating than the usual moving country experience is.

If you'd like to know anything else about Portugal feel free to message me.