P
przeciwwymiotne
Be rude to me at all times, I don't deserve kindne
- Jun 27, 2022
- 343
My hair is falling out, I pee and defecate blood, my stomach hurts all the time, I've got some meds but they won't help unless I stop binge eating. 6 months ago I was severely underweight, now I can't stop shoving food into my mouth even when it hurts, when I can taste the acid and the blood.
Why am I not sure about the treatment centre? It's not specifically for BED, there isn't any centre like that in Poland. I'd have to take a break from university and it's the only thing in my life. My purpose. I finally have friends, can study, develop myself, attend workshops, practice languages. But the eating. I am terrified of myself. I can eat so much food it's unreal. I steal food. I use all the money I have on it. I THE ENTIRETY OF MY HIGH-SCHOOL SCHOLARSHIP ON IT. I've been saving the money for so long and now it's gone....
Also I'm scared that even if I go into treatment, pay for it, stay there 2 moths then go back and follow the same food pattern. I'm clueless. I'm dying. I'm killing myself with my own actions.
Why am I not sure about the treatment centre? It's not specifically for BED, there isn't any centre like that in Poland. I'd have to take a break from university and it's the only thing in my life. My purpose. I finally have friends, can study, develop myself, attend workshops, practice languages. But the eating. I am terrified of myself. I can eat so much food it's unreal. I steal food. I use all the money I have on it. I THE ENTIRETY OF MY HIGH-SCHOOL SCHOLARSHIP ON IT. I've been saving the money for so long and now it's gone....
Also I'm scared that even if I go into treatment, pay for it, stay there 2 moths then go back and follow the same food pattern. I'm clueless. I'm dying. I'm killing myself with my own actions.