Confused and scared

[traumatologia]

Hi! I'm new un the forum. First, sorry for my bad english, It's not my first language, I'll do my best.
I don't know how yo start with this. I'm confused. Two weeks ago, I wanted to ctb so hard... now I'm confused.
I'm deeply traumatized. I think I'll Talk about that trauma later, because now I don't feel like I can. I only will say that it's about rape, violence, etc.
Now I have the best and most wonderful and sweet person in the world with me and I think he is going to left me eventually or he should at least. I know I'm going to ctb some day and that's going to broke him. If I can, I Will wait until my parents died, they have had enough in their lifes. I can't continue writing because someone is coming. I know this post is confusing and short but I need to know what do you think.

 

[Veraz]

I mean, if it's not your time yet, then it's not your time. If you think a life with your partner is worth giving a try then go for it. You can always CTB later if things don't work out. It's not a race. Why not give it one more chance? What have you got to lose? This website isn't going anywhere, so there's no rush.

Also, you don't have to... but if you think talking about the trauma will help, the people on this forum are generally very open minded and understanding. It also has the benefit of being completely anonymous.

 

[FuneralCry]

After all, only you know when it's the right time to leave this world, I believe that it's a feeling that someone has and they feel certain. But it's true that existing certainly can be painful, and I'm sorry that you've had to suffer so much. It's just so incredibly unfair how so much torment exists in this world.