Discussion Confession

[Forever Sleep]

I guess some people here practice confession as part of their religion- Catholicism I'm aware of but, maybe there are others.

Do you think it helps? And if so, why? Asides from the religious side to it, I suppose you are revealing something bad that someone is likely to judge you for. Maybe that's a part of the remorse process. That you genuinely feel bad about it. Bad enough to realise it was wrong in the first place. But, it almost seems like a self shaming process. Almost a form of punishment in of itself.

What do you think about it? Do some people know the very worst things you've done? Are there some things you haven't told anyone? There are a couple of things I've told next to no one because I'm so ashamed of them. I don't think telling anyone would help either. Even if they told me a God or whoever else forgave me, I don't think I can forgive myself. Nothing illegal by the way. Just more on the lines of being fairly sadistic towards insects in childhood. I think it may be fairly common but, I still find it disturbing I did it.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Repentance/confession is a concept and an act in my religion (zen buddhism) but it is extremely different from the same concept and act that is found in christianity/catholicism.

The way it works is during a specific ceremony you get up and publicly say something you regret doing, a mistake, a selfish deed, a hateful thought. You accept that you have done this, and you vow to try your best to not do it again. You do it in public because these things are all human nature and not personal failings. Guaranteed someone listening will go "oh dang, I do that too", and it will help them in their own progress to know they aren't the only one.

It is nothing to do with shame, punishment, or guilt. It is having the guts to look at yourself and your actions with clear eyes and to take responsibility for yourself. It's also acknowledging that it is human nature to make mistakes, do bad things, and it doesn't mean you are personally evil or bad. We all have the capacity to do good and bad things, we are all subject to the three poisons of greed, anger and ignorance. But we also all have Buddha nature, that is pure selflessness. The bad feeling of admitting our mistakes is punishment enough, there doesn't need to be any other punishment. The good feeling of knowing you can acknowledge your mistakes and are committed to overcoming the three poisons as much as you are able to is enough to heal the pain of making the mistake and confessing it.

This only works in a context where 1) everyone is willing to do it together, 2) everyone is adhering to a strong and clear moral framework and has committed to following it and holding themselves to its standards, 3) there is no concept of sin or supernatural punishment/reward, 4) you understand the concept of cause and effect, that there are causes that make us act in certain ways and natural consequences to those actions 5) an understanding that the self is not a fixed thing and even someone who did the worst imaginable things can change and become a good person by following the Buddha's teachings and putting them into practice. You don't have to hold onto things you are ashamed of and feel they define you. You don't have to even forgive yourself. You just have to acknowledge they happened and try not to repeat them; you are free. Speaking out loud helps with this part.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Repentance/confession is a concept and an act in my religion (zen buddhism) but it is extremely different from the same concept and act that is found in christianity/catholicism.

The way it works is during a specific ceremony you get up and publicly say something you regret doing, a mistake, a selfish deed, a hateful thought. You accept that you have done this, and you vow to try your best to not do it again. You do it in public because these things are all human nature and not personal failings. Guaranteed someone listening will go "oh dang, I do that too", and it will help them in their own progress to know they aren't the only one.

It is nothing to do with shame, punishment, or guilt. It is having the guts to look at yourself and your actions with clear eyes and to take responsibility for yourself. It's also acknowledging that it is human nature to make mistakes, do bad things, and it doesn't mean you are personally evil or bad. We all have the capacity to do good and bad things, we are all subject to the three poisons of greed, anger and ignorance. But we also all have Buddha nature, that is pure selflessness. The bad feeling of admitting our mistakes is punishment enough, there doesn't need to be any other punishment. The good feeling of knowing you can acknowledge your mistakes and are committed to overcoming the three poisons as much as you are able to is enough to heal the pain of making the mistake and confessing it.

This only works in a context where 1) everyone is willing to do it together, 2) everyone is adhering to a strong and clear moral framework and has committed to improving themselves, 3) there is no concept of sin or supernatural punishment/reward, 4) you understand the concept of cause and effect, that there are causes that make us act in certain ways and natural consequences to those actions 5) an understanding that the self is not a fixed thing and even someone who did the worst imaginable things can change and become a good person by following the Buddha's teachings and putting them into practice. You don't have to hold onto things you are ashamed of and feel they define you. You don't have to even forgive yourself. You just have to acknowledge they happened and try not to repeat them; you are free. Speaking out loud helps with this part.

Thank you for sharing. This sounds like a very useful and healthy thing to do. I like the way your religion views it.