confessing my feelings about ctbing

[justanotherguy1]

Yesterday was such a moment of weakness for me so i was meeting my sister who i have barely seen pretty much my entire life but she seems like a nice person and i saw her helping my mom whos also struggling emotionally right now and i debated with myself should i confess feelings that i have about ctbing and eventually i thought that yeah maybe she somehow could help me or whatever because while i wanna ctb for the reason of life is not worth living i really dont wanna hurt anyone around me and i know its pretty much impossible to accomplish within a reasonable time frame but still maybe she could open my eyes on life or something or give some meaningful advice. And i also previously thought that i wouldnt be controlled by emotions so easily i thought that im completely on the idea of ctbing and now im just why have i done it why did i drag her into it why did i make her worry about me and also what other lies do i tell myself too and honestly i dont know anymore maybe it wasnt weakness altogether maybe it takes strength to open up to a person like i am really not sure about anything anymore.

 

[Zany]

Whether or not opening up about your feelings is the right thing to do in your scenario, I don't know. Though I'd definitely argue it's not weak. It takes a lot of courage to admit your darkest feelings to people you care about. Personally, I've never had the strength to do it, to the point no one knows how I truly feel, which can be both a blessing and a curse I believe. So i suppose whether what you did is right or wrong may depend on how much you value being open with others compared to 'sparing' others from your burdens. Those two things being subjective themselves.. Though i believe opening up about something this serious takes courage, not weakness