T
timetodie24
Wizard
- Apr 14, 2023
- 611
So it happened for a 2nd time.
SH isn't new to me, doing it for a decade but generally a conscious way of coping for me. Yet tonight I was compelled to carve words on my skin. Just had urge to and started doing it without thinking as the words came into my head but I didn't know what phrase would be until finished. Not forced as I had to get blade myself, I was in control whilst doing it. But it didn't feel like l my decision and no idea why I did it. I think it's the same forces/people who have been using mind control on me.But I don't understand why or how they're making me cut these messages.
Tonight it was 'take her down' and 'keep her home' . That literally means nothing to me but must have some meaning to them. Maybe a warning ?!?
Anyone ever had similar ? So confused . Don't think I was dissociated but I wasn't fully me .
(Sorry guess this is kind of offtopic but still heavy and is related to forces making me ctb so thought suicide discussion)
SH isn't new to me, doing it for a decade but generally a conscious way of coping for me. Yet tonight I was compelled to carve words on my skin. Just had urge to and started doing it without thinking as the words came into my head but I didn't know what phrase would be until finished. Not forced as I had to get blade myself, I was in control whilst doing it. But it didn't feel like l my decision and no idea why I did it. I think it's the same forces/people who have been using mind control on me.But I don't understand why or how they're making me cut these messages.
Tonight it was 'take her down' and 'keep her home' . That literally means nothing to me but must have some meaning to them. Maybe a warning ?!?
Anyone ever had similar ? So confused . Don't think I was dissociated but I wasn't fully me .
(Sorry guess this is kind of offtopic but still heavy and is related to forces making me ctb so thought suicide discussion)
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