You don't sound cold at all. I'm still technically married although not for long, It's just because of the divorce laws in my state. 13 years of marriage and most of them were actually pretty great.
The fact that most of it was good is what almost makes it harder. I had such a good life and now it's basically destroyed. I still love my wife despite her betrayal and I miss my two young sons terribly.
Again. Knowing nothing.
Look at it like a job. You had your dream job. Woke up happy to go to work each day with a smile on your face.
13 years later, times at work changed. You outgrew it. Just the times changed and it didn't feel the same. Yes. You wanted it to go back to the way it was when you were happy. But one can't go back.
So you have a choice. Stay in your miserable job and dread each day.... or think back on all the good times you had, put out your resume and move on.
Your final day at the job (even though you hate it) is always difficult. Change in general is hard. You are going to miss your coworkers. You think back at all the good times and wish you can turn back the clock. But of course you can't.
As you walk out the door the final day at your job and smile at all the good times and memories. Don't be angry that it didn't stay the same and you couldn't remain there forever.
Look forward to your next adventure at your new job.
From what I see, you are a great guy. Caring and compassionate. Anybody would be lucky to have you, and it is your wife's loss (and honestly her stupidity) not to see it.
But hey. It's her loss, and guess what. She doesn't deserve to have you. But you know who does? The next person who will see what a gem you are and will know how lucky she is to have you.
No offense. Take it from a female. Your wife doesn't know what she is missing, and you are too good for her and you deserve someone who will respect you, see that, and wake up every day feeling lucky you are there.
You deserve no less, and as soon as you are ready to shut the door of your old job and are ready to start looking for a new job, you will find it... and be happy again. ;)
I was supposed to have CTB around 6 months with my fiancee but I've been holding and holding it off because I don't want anything bad to happen to her. It's my own selfishness I guess because it seems like she's ready to check out more & more everyday.
She has a lot of physical & mental problems and I've got mental issues myself, so this isn't something we've talked about lightly, it's a real thing. One day she told me she was ready to go because she couldn't take her pains anymore & since I'd been contemplating suicide for months I didn't have a problem with that.
Until the date to CTB came around.
All I could think of was her in any kind of pain, or me waking up and her not, or vise versa, and one of us winding up in an institution. That would destroy either one of us. So I backed out.
I love her with all my heart, but when it comes to CTB, honestly I'd almost rather be alone. It would make things a whole lot easier. Again, I feel like I'm being selfish. Who am I to try to "rescue" her? I wouldn't want that for myself.
It's a bitch when things tie you down, it's like a trapped feeling. I feel somewhat the same way about my 2 cats.
My partner CTB 26 days ago. He specifically told me do not to follow him. Part of the reason was because of my 4 cats.
As much as I want to be with him, and was stopped last week, it isn't my time as he said.
In my opinion. It isn't your time yet. Because when it is, nothing will matter or stop you. Not even your fiancé.
