Topamax and Valium. I have 2 full bottles of each.
This I can personally speak to, as I used large amounts of Topamax, Wellbutrin, lorazepam, and alcohol in an attempt to ctb 5 years ago. In total it was hundreds of pills (plenty of each) and at least half of a large vodka bottle. I had surgery for reflux almost 20 years ago, so keep in mind that I didn't throw up, because I physically cannot (I do get nauseous and my body will - sometimes violently - TRY, but nothing that goes in is coming back up, period. I started with the vodka, once I was feeling drunk I started downing the pills by the handful. My thought process was similar to yours: those meds made drowsy, so in huge quantities along with alcohol, surely I wouldn't make it. I also lived alone at the time, so I knew I had hours alone (if not a day or two) before someone might find me.
So I managed to choke down the pills. For good measure, I tied a bathrobe belt around my neck, and passed out quite quickly where I laid on the couch. I sent a vague messays he to a friend of mine right before; not vague enough to sound an immediate alarm but enough that eventually he was concerned that I wasn't replying to anything. At midnight, 12 hours after I passed out, the cops kicked in my door and found me.
I was "awake," but have no recollection of it. I would look in someone's direction if they spoke to me but I could not speak. I had removed or loosened the belt at some point when I was unaware. I had at least one seizure after arriving in the ER (and likely had seized throughout that 12 hours). Eventually I started responding verbally, but not with much sense and I was still "blacked out" mentally. I apparently asked for a turkey sandwich repeatedly (I don't even particularly like turkey sandwiches). It took two days for me to gain awareness and I had no memory from the time I tied the belt and that moment. I was in pain (from seizing? Being tense in a recliner position for so long?), my abs were extremely sore and tender when I "woke up" as well.
Very shortly after regaining my faculties, I was discharged from the ICU for an extended stay in the county mental health center. Nothing more dignified than being wheeled out of the hospital in handcuffs.
I hadn't started out intending to tell this whole detailed story, so I can delete it if it's too off track. I just wanted to share with you my experience attempting with this exact medication combo. I hope it helps you to reconsider that route. I don't think there's even a remote chance it will work.
