My therapist told me today we need to start integrating this scale into our sessions. She cited liability and mentioned hospitalization but also talked about how she's always mindful of all the things that come before the point where you actually have to hospitalize someone, which is true. I've been able to tell her things that a jumpier person would have stuck me in a locked ward over in a heartbeat.
I'm a little worried. She said today that I seem fine when I leave but when I message her (which I do daily) she sees a lot more pain. I feel really corny using that word in a self referential way but it's what she said.
I sent her a message asking her for exactly what kind of disclosure would land me in the hospital. An example I gave, making sure to say it was hypothetical, was if I had some of what I would need but without other elements necessary to make the plan viable. Asked if that line is only crossed if the deed was imminent. Asked her what happens exactly when that process is set into motion.
I gave up my apartment for a mailbox and a van, so I need to move my home daily. If my home were to be towed I may well be rendered homeless if the hospital were to hold me for more than a day or two. Tow lots charge so much per day that I might not be able to get it out. I asked her if I would be allowed time to find a safe place to put it. I told her there have been times when I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea but I was worried about this and so kept things to myself.
I think she makes concessions for me so I don't have to go in. Psych wards, autism, and ptsd are a really awful combination.
I'm a little worried. She said today that I seem fine when I leave but when I message her (which I do daily) she sees a lot more pain. I feel really corny using that word in a self referential way but it's what she said.
I sent her a message asking her for exactly what kind of disclosure would land me in the hospital. An example I gave, making sure to say it was hypothetical, was if I had some of what I would need but without other elements necessary to make the plan viable. Asked if that line is only crossed if the deed was imminent. Asked her what happens exactly when that process is set into motion.
I gave up my apartment for a mailbox and a van, so I need to move my home daily. If my home were to be towed I may well be rendered homeless if the hospital were to hold me for more than a day or two. Tow lots charge so much per day that I might not be able to get it out. I asked her if I would be allowed time to find a safe place to put it. I told her there have been times when I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea but I was worried about this and so kept things to myself.
I think she makes concessions for me so I don't have to go in. Psych wards, autism, and ptsd are a really awful combination.
