Venting College started up again

[EternalShore]

woohoo~ Now, I can be forced to be around the most insufferable people in the world while seriously depressed myself! D: I'm trying to secure a full-time job too, soooo~ >_< ouch~ oh well, 'tis just feels awful to see all these people yet again, having to pretend to be someone I'm not constantly yet again, getting to deal with the worst professor in the world for yet another semester, and getting to see all the worst people in the world be happy, get engaged, married and enjoy their lives while I try to be the best I can and am constantly 100% miserable with no hope and completely lost in life~ :((( I should get that! It's the only goal I have~ To get married and have kids~ And yet, I'm nowhere closer to that than I was a year and a half ago~ :/// It's just the absolute worst! D:
And I know with just one thing, I can be happy~ but genuinely, what I need is a miracle~ A person who can step in and save me, and ig I have someone who is basically single-handedly keeping me alive, but they live far away, so I never get to see them~ >_< but welp~ God has yet to provide for me yet~ And yet, the worst part is that in order to find that person, I'd have to make myself even more miserable by interacting with these horrible people! >:(
On the bright side, I'm almost done with college~ woohoo~ After this year, I actually have to voluntarily sacrifice the little free time I get to talk to hopefully slightly less insufferable people with whom I'll still have to pretend to someone else completely different from the real me~ :/ And the worst is~ I've lived like this for so long that I'm starting to lose contact with who I really am! :(((((( I, too am being poisoned by society~ ofc, not as badly as others I've seen, but the same, nonetheless. Why the heck do I even live at this point? Even if by that miracle, I achieve my dream, I'm still going to more than likely be miserable.... just less so... :( Why am I cursed like this? :(

 

[Themogger]

Congrats for almost finishing

 

[Evelyn Lane]

Why do you write like that? Does it get tiring to write like that? Is it a coping mechanism? Genuinely curious

 

[EternalShore]

Why do you write like that? Does it get tiring to write like that? Is it a coping mechanism? Genuinely curious

I like being kyute, and I find this kyute? Is that unacceptable~? Anyways, it sounds about how I talk or so I've heard, so it's accurate to say the least! xD

 

[Evelyn Lane]

I like being kyute, and I find this kyute? Is that unacceptable~? Anyways, it sounds about how I talk or so I've heard, so it's accurate to say the least! xD

Interesting. And do you sound like a girl?

 

[EternalShore]

Interesting. And do you sound like a girl?

I mean, I'd think so? xD usually when I'm happy (temporary ofc~ xD), my voice goes high, and when I'm upset and sad, it gets lower~ What makes you ask? :)

 

[potablewater784]

I'm sorry to hear that you can't be yourself at school :( I also feel that to some degree, as I'm not really sure who I even am. And I can only imagine how that would be harder while looking for a job. Personally I find school to be draining enough as is and wouldn't have the extra energy for that... But it's good that you'll be done soon! And I hope you can find someone who makes you happy

 

[Evelyn Lane]

I mean, I'd think so? xD usually when I'm happy (temporary ofc~ xD), my voice goes high, and when I'm upset and sad, it gets lower~ What makes you ask? :)

I was wondering if you got, you know, voice changing therapy. I don't know what they call it. You know, for trans people. Eh, doesn't matter. Glad you didn't get triggered by that, I was half expecting it lol
Also because you sound girly, so I was wondering if you had a girly voice too.

 

[Imcantbreathe]

I start school on the 27th an I don't have the mental capacity to even get out of bed an get dress.. So making it on time and paying attention plus doing homework, I don't see it in my future... I truly believe I will CTB before August is over. I'm not prolonging it my parents recently got separated an my mom is moving to Alabama so I guess I just want to spend as much time with her before she leaves..

 

[EternalShore]

I'm sorry to hear that you can't be yourself at school :( I also feel that to some degree, as I'm not really sure who I even am. And I can only imagine how that would be harder while looking for a job. Personally I find school to be draining enough as is and wouldn't have the extra energy for that... But it's good that you'll be done soon! And I hope you can find someone who makes you happy

oh yeah~ school is awful~ >_< but well, this same company screwed me out of a summer job via nepotistically giving it to a high schooler! :/ and I need it for experience, so welp~ >_< and yeah, last year! :D what about you~? hehe~
I can deal with all this stuff for now tho~ hehe~ I've overloaded on credits every semester prior to now! xD It's just my whole friend and social situation which drives me crazy~ >_< Humans are social creatures, and sure, while it may not be physically painful, having your only goal and care in the world be related to it and getting absolutely nowhere simultaneously really, really makes you want to leave the world! :(((
me too~ >_< preferably someone really close by pls! >_< and same for you if you don't! ^_^

I was wondering if you got, you know, voice changing therapy. I don't know what they call it. You know, for trans people. Eh, doesn't matter. Glad you didn't get triggered by that, I was half expecting it lol
Also because you sound girly, so I was wondering if you had a girly voice too.

welp, I do! hehe~ with no voice training therapy tho~

I start school on the 27th an I don't have the mental capacity to even get out of bed an get dress.. So making it on time and paying attention plus doing homework, I don't see it in my future... I truly believe I will CTB before August is over. I'm not prolonging it my parents recently got separated an my mom is moving to Alabama so I guess I just want to spend as much time with her before she leaves..

That's awful! D: I'm so sorry to hear! >_< if you haven't paid yet and want to be with your mom more, I'd stall out college until the winter semester and spend the time with her, signing up for a college in Alabama~ :)
ofc, that's if you ever feel ready for it~ I'll be praying for you! ^_^

 

[Imcantbreathe]

I already got accepted an my schedule is made.. Plus i'm in New York, I don't see myself going down there because I believe I will be even more miserable. I don't want her to come home to a hanging it'll crush her. I don't know if this will make sense but I'd prefer my Dad to discover me because my mom has already been through "ALOTT" in the past 3 years with my Dad. If was to go to Alabama I promise you I'd CTB in the first 24 hrs

 

[EternalShore]

related news:
The sight at college today was nice today with all the orange slips all over the cars~ taking advantage of all the freshmen unable to find parking~ despicable! I wonder who's fault that is for not installing enough parking! >:( but ohhh~ apparently, the police are good!? Absolutely evil~
Also, the college again refused to buy back my books~ I was kinda fine at first because they told me to go sell them at a book store or Amazon~ but the more I think about it, the angrier I become! >:( You're telling me I pay you $60k, and then, you extort me for more funds to buy books and stuff, and you won't even give me as much as $10 back!? I don't want some money from some random on Amazon, I want YOUR money! I don't even care if I receive it or not, I want to deprive you of as much money as physically possible! >:(

I already got accepted an my schedule is made.. Plus i'm in New York, I don't see myself going down there because I believe I will be even more miserable. I don't want her to come home to a hanging it'll crush her. I don't know if this will make sense but I'd prefer my Dad to discover me because my mom has already been through "ALOTT" in the past 3 years with my Dad. If was to go to Alabama I promise you I'd CTB in the first 24 hrs

ahh, I see >_< very well! :3 I'm glad you don't want to see your mom so upset! ^_^ that's quite kind of you! :3

 

[nir]

I like being kyute, and I find this kyute? Is that unacceptable~? Anyways, it sounds about how I talk or so I've heard, so it's accurate to say the least! xD

Your way of typing reminds me of the glory days of online chatrooms! They were so funnn, I remember learning very basic html so that my signatures could be pretty and have colourful emoticons (before emojis were a thing of course). I feel like adding emoticons and stuff like ~ at the end of sentences was an early version of tone indicators.

 

[EternalShore]

Your way of typing reminds me of the glory days of online chatrooms! They were so funnn, I remember learning very basic html so that my signatures could be pretty and have colourful emoticons (before emojis were a thing of course). I feel like adding emoticons and stuff like ~ at the end of sentences was an early version of tone indicators.

awwww~ so kyute! :D And mine basically are! xDDD I used to like emojis at one point, but I felt like the early 2000s were better, so this writing style eventually picked up with just :) and :( at first, but welp~ It's far more than that now! xDDD I'm glad you enjoy and it makes you nostalgic! >:3 'tis its purpose! ^_^