I tried to CTB and did the dumbest thing, I didn't go through. I keep on breaking promises to myself. I wish I died that day in the woods. I had the perfect plan. I was gonna die in a beautiful place surrounded by birds and trees. Idk what I was thinking. I wish I was dead, but now I feel like I have this obligation to live because I've made commitments to people. I am so tired of being who I am. How do I escape these feelings. Maybe I should plan to CTB again, just not during this school year. I like school. I want to feel content and happy, but that's just not going to happen. Sometimes I think about the past few months and I just want to scream. I can't feel anything but anger. How do I escape this?
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